


The Long Way Home (Dragon Age)

by Lone_Wolf_Fanfics



Series: Dragon Age Fan Fics [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Another Hawke, Break Up, Character Death, Cullen Rutherford Smut, Cullen Smut, F/M, Fake Character Death, Fluff and Smut, Heartbreak, Leandra Hawke Dies, Mage Hawke - Freeform, NSFW, Past Relationship(s), Pre-Dragon Age: Inquisition, Smut, Temporary Character Death, Tower Hawke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-02-04 14:18:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 42,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12772851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lone_Wolf_Fanfics/pseuds/Lone_Wolf_Fanfics
Summary: Yennefer is the second oldest Hawke child, twin to Garrett and the only one to have spent time in a Circle (After a Bethany mishap).Follow her story as she battles demons, blood mages, mercenaries, templars, mages and everything in between. And follow the ups and downs of her relationship with a certain blonde templar, through the hardships and the struggles, and through the forgiveness and heartbreak.





	1. Yennefer Hawke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've changed this slightly so i have republished it

**Name** : Yennefer Hawke

 **Nickname** : Jenny (Cullen) Yen. Yenna. (Bethany, Carver, Garrett) Lilac (Varric) Hawke

 **Title:** Horsewoman of War (By the Templars and Mages) The Other Hawke. 

 **Age:** DA:O/DA:2 - 21-31 DA:I - 31/33ish

 **Race** : Human - mage

 

 **Gender** : Female

 **Hair color** : Black

 **Eye color** : Violet

 

 

 **Pairing** : Cullen Rutherford

 

 

 

**Family:**

Aristide Amell (grandfather)

Bethann Walker (grandmother)

Malcolm Hawke (father)

Leandra Amell (mother)

**Garrett Hawke (Twin brother - Mage)**

Bethany Hawke (sister) - ( **I don't want to kill her off! - So I won't, both twins will live)**

Carver Hawke (brother)

Gamlen Amell (uncle)

Mara Hartling (aunt)

Charade Amell (cousin)

Solona Amell-Arainai (Cousin)

Zevran Arainai (Cousin-in-law)

 

**Appearance:**

Yennefer has locks of curly, raven black hair fragrant with lilac and gooseberry perfume, falling in a cascade of curls on her shapely shoulders. Her face is very pale, triangular in shape with a slightly receded chin. Her eyes are cold and sparkling with a remarkable violet penetrating gaze, in anger blazing with livid, blue-gray fire. Those very eyes also conceal wisdom and imperiousness. Yennefer's nose is slightly long, mouth is pale with thin and slightly crooked, soft, sweet with lipstick, proud lips.

Yen has pronounced cheekbones, natural, slightly irregular eyebrows trimmed by hand and emphasized with charcoal, long eyelashes, and petite hands. Even in high-heeled shoes she isn't tall, is beautiful but threatening, having incredibly thin and slender waist and slender legs.

She always dresses in black and white, at times wears stockings, wears frilled panties but never wore trivialities with underwire, she didn't need to. Her voice is resonant and mildly derisive.

 

**Bio:**

Yennefer is the second oldest of the Hawke children, born less then two minutes after her older twin brother, Garrett

When Yen was 15, Bethany was attacked in their village and lashed out with her magic, Yen took the blame for her, protecting her baby sister and handed herself over to the templars. Though her father was proud of her, for defending her sister, he was mortified it had come to this, and unfortunately had to let the templars take his little girl away.

Yen was taken to Kinloch Hold where she proved to be a quick study and very talented at healing, as well as Force magic.

At 16 she met a young templar, Cullen Rutherford, both taking a shine to one another.

At 21, During the events Dragon Age Origins: Yennefer starts off close to her cousin, Solona Amell, who eventually goes on to become the Warden.

Yen was one of the mages that Uldred tortured in the Harrowing Chamber, only to be saved by Solona.

Yen then had to listen to her friend, Cullen, claim that all mages in the Chamber were tainted by blood magic and should be killed. And though she stayed on at the tower, Yen and Cullen's relationship became increasingly strained to the point that he spewed venomous words at her before realising what he'd done, of the damage he'd done to their friendship. A month after the events that scarred her, Yen escaped the tower that night and fled to the Free Marches, to Kirkwall before he could apologise. A month later Cullen is reassigned to Kirkwall.

These events still haunt Yen deeply and she has trouble trusting people, specifically mages and templars.

Reaching Kirkwall Yen finds a cave off the Storm Coast and holds up in it, she is eventually found, ten months later, by Templars, and rescued by Garrett and Carver Hawke, her brothers, both see how broken their sister has become.

Over the course of Dragon Age: II Yen slowly regains some of her lost spark and confidence.

Though for the first three months she refuses to step foot in the Gallows, it's not till a chance meeting at Wilmod's Camp that she finds out Cullen is in Kirkwall, and when they come face to face again, Yen finds it difficult to not run as far as she can get as fast as she can. Cullen sees the damage he's done to the once bright and happy mage, and sees the fear in her eyes, because of him.

During the final confrontation with Meredith, Cullen orders her to step down when she orders Yen to be executed, held the sword to the girl's throat herself, despite the fact the mage had defended a young templar knight from a spell from another mage. Meredith will accuse him and the surviving templars of being blood mage thralls and then attack. Yen saves Cullen's life, at the apparent cost of her own. She tells him she forgive him and that it hurt more, the words he spat at her, because she loved him, Cullen tells her that he'd always loved her too, before she 'dies'.

In truth she'd used a necromancy spell to raise a dead mage, and created an illusion to make it look like her, and whilst it was her words that she told Cullen, it was not her body that died.

DA:I -

When Cullen and his soldiers arrive in the Hinterlands to build the watch towers they hear rumours of a mysterious witch that's been killing both mages and templars and rescuing refugees. Cullen informs the Herald (Male!Trevelyan), and they both, along with Varric, Solas and Cassandra seek her out.

Cullen and Varric find a ghost, Yennefer Hawke, when they are attacked by mages, she appears to save them.

**Mage:**

Unlike other mages, Yennefer prefers to wield her magic without a staff (Knowing a staff draws attention). And she gains more power from the black marigold with a star made of obsidian sparkling with a multitude of tiny diamonds embedded in it, that she wears around her neck. (This necklace was enchanted by the Dreadwolf and can only be worn by those it chooses as worthy) Yennefer stumbled upon this necklace fleeing Ferelden, after Kinloch.

 

**Battlemage:**

Some mages specialize in spells that permit them to engage in combat from afar. Battlemages, by contrast, prefer to wade into the fray alongside their blade-wielding companions, close enough to read the fear in their opponents' eyes. Their spells primarily concern personal preservation as well as control of the elements in their immediate surroundings.

**Force Mage:**

All mage specializations manipulate energy, but Force Mages revel in it. A specialization popular in Kirkwall, they focus only on the raw application of magic, in all its vicious glory—maelstroms that draw opponents, ethereal weight that crush and slow, or great waves that throw enemies about like ragdolls. Targets not to be toyed with are simply slammed into the ground, as though pummeled by a great fist. And in their mastery of such damage, Force Mages can make themselves all but immune to similar attacks, an ability that hints at the true discipline they must maintain. After all, unsubtle doesn't mean unsophisticated—the Force Mage specialization requires uncommon precision to keep such overwhelming power under control.

**Spirit Healer:**

Spirit healers focus on restoration, not destruction. They know that the best way to win a battle is to keep themselves and their allies in the fight as long as possible. They are the mages most likely to be accepted—or at least tolerated—by common people, and yet templars fear them as much or more than the damage-focused specializations. No other mages so directly draw their power from the beneficial spirits of the Fade. It's a risk, but the rewards are undeniable. Removing injuries, granting resilience to wounds, even rescuing comrades from the brink of death—these are not support abilities, they are the core of any effective party. Any fool can cause harm, but no amount of muscle can make a weapon heal.

**Unique Spells:**

Because of her necklace Yennefer has learnt many spells that are not taught in the circles. Including;

 **Demon Expulsion** : Yennefer can remove demons from possessed mages with a concentrated thought, (Think SPN Demon exorcism - black smoke)

 **Battle Crow Familiar:** Yennefer's necklace grants her the use of a Battle Crow Familiar, when in danger the crow will come to Yennefer's aid. Yennefer is particularly fond of this bird. _(This is in fact a spirit of protection that just takes the form of a crow)_

 **Slow Time:** In battle Yennefer can slow time for a few seconds, giving her time to think out a strategy, move her position, or ready a spell.

 **Anti-Possession:** Because of her necklace, Yennefer cannot be possessed, the necklace wards off demons in her sleep meaning that her dreams are not plagued by them, though she still suffers from memory nightmares.

 

**Skills:**

**Archery:** Yen is also a very skilled archer, having taken it up after leaving Kinloch to hunt food, she can incorporate her magic into her archery, including:

Flaming Arrows

Ice Arrows

 **Pain Tolerance** : Her tolerance for physical trauma & fatigue is far greater than the average human being.

 **Survival Instincts** : Having been thrust into the wild, Yen has unparalleled survival Instincts, including advanced sense of awareness & heightened sense of hearing, smell & sight. She has a keen eye for detail.

 **Navigation:** Yen can read the stars to get her bearings. She also seems to have studied cartography.

 **Unbreakable Will:** Yen has shown on many occasions that she is incredibly tenacious, and will do anything in order to accomplish her goals and do what she believes is right.

 **Pickpocket:** Yen has nimble hands from years of having to pickpocket coins to eat.

 **Escape Artistry:** Yen has been captured numerous times, usually relying on herself to be freed. She has even managed to escape templars, on multiple occasions, using improvised weapons and clever tactics. 

 

**Equipment:**

**Dreadwolf Necklace** : An enchanted black marigold with a star made of obsidian sparkling with a multitude of tiny diamonds embedded in it.

 **Bow:** Yen carries a Balanced Winged Longbow

**Daggers:** Yen carries a pair of Antivan Bleeders (A gift from Zevran)

**Travel Robes:**

 

**Skyhold Robes:**

 

**Halamshiral:**

 

**Other Pairings:**

Garrett x Fenris

Solona x Zevran

 

Josephine x Blackwall

Male!Trevelyan x Iron Bull

Sera x Dagna

Cole x Maryden

 

 

 


	2. Prologue

Yennefer Hawke was a bright, happy, loving child, full of laughter and kindness, she was quick to smile, and quick to trust, and because of this her brothers and her sister were extremely protective of her, even Carver. Yennefer was all those things. Until, one day, when Yennefer was 15, her younger sister Bethany came into her magic, accidentally freezing the villages river. Two days later Templars, mage hunters, knocked on their door, asking for the mage that attacked the villagers, and Bethany was ready to admit it, she was ready for her punishment, but little Yennefer beat her to it, she took all the blame. She stood there and told the templars that it was her. And unlike many mages she got to say goodbye to her family, Bethany and her mother in tears, and words of pride from her father, Yennefer not knowing at the time that it would be the last time she'd see him. Yennefer was carted off to a Circle, a tower where they house mages, to keep them safe from the world, well....the world safe from them, little more then prisons disguised as schools. It is here, two years later that Yennefer would meet the love of her life, Cullen Rutherford, a templar, though forbidden they kept their relationship a secret, only Yennefer's cousin, Solona Amell knew of it. But it all went to hell with the start of the Blight, the Circle fell to blood mages, Yennefer was tortured at the hands of her fellow mages, whilst Cullen was trapped in a spirit prison. And once it was over, once they'd both been freed, Cullen had called for her life to be ended, believing her a blood mage. Solona, by then having been appointed a Grey Warden, stepped in, shouted at him, told him that he'd have to go through her if he wanted to harm her cousin. He'd relented, after Gregoir, his commanding officer told him the mages that remained were safe. Despite how close Cullen and Yennefer were before the tower incident, it fell apart after, they both avoided one another, until one day, a month later, he cornered her in a corridor, pressed her back into a corner and shouted some truly awful insults at her and then he stared down at her as her eyes fill with tears, this tiny little 21 year old, that had only ever been kind and loving towards him, and he'd brought her to the edge of tears. Cullen's glare dropped and he was hit with the realization of what he'd just said, of the words he'd just spat at her, the insults and the hate at the girl he once claimed to love, at the girl that was just as broken as he was by what they'd been through.

“Jenny” he whispered, he backed away from him as she shook with pure fear, she turned and ran away from him, as fast as she could. “Jenny” he stated louder, trying to catch her attention, she sniffled and hurried away faster. “I'm sorry” he whispered after her rubbing the back of his neck.

 

The next morning Yennefer was gone, escaped the tower and vanished without a trace. With her phylactery missing the Templars were powerless to track her. That night, Cullen emptied a phylactery into a fire, removing all trace of it and her from the Tower, he felt it was the least he could do.

 

 

1.

 

 


	3. Reunited

Yennefer sits now, eleven months later, in a cave on the Wounded Coast, a small fire burning in her...home, because it is her home now. Though she has to share the coast with the Tal Vashoth, she finds she does not care, they even trade, she gives them healing potions and food and they provide her with wood, fabrics and arrow heads, and as long as she doesn't bother them, they leave her to her cave. Which is fine, the less people that know she is here the better. Yennefer sighs and shivers, pulls her cloak tighter around herself.

................

Anders glances to the scroll in his hand, Templars spotted on the Wounded Coast, hunting for a mage, and given that he has a weakness for mages in need, he feels the need to help.

"Hawke" he states getting his fellow mages attention, Garrett Hawke, now a year into his stay in Kirkwall stands from the refugee boy he'd been playing dice with and moves to Anders. "There may be a mage on the coast that needs help" he hands over the letter, Garrett reads from it.

"The others aren't going to like this" Garrett tells him.

"Someone is in danger, Hawke, we can't just leave her to the templars" Anders states, starting to get worked up, Justice starting to peeks through the seems.

"Alright" Garrett places his hand on Anders' shoulder. "If we're dealing with templars we need to persuade the warriors to come...." Anders screws up his face in annoyance, the warriors do not agree with his stance on mages rights. "I'll talk to Carver" Garrett offers rolling up the scroll. "You talk to Varric" Garrett hands the scroll back to Anders who takes it.

................

Heading along the Wounded Coast is eerie, the quiet and the mist, Garrett tugs his mage robes tighter around himself and looks to Anders, Carver grumbles behind them about mages and something something annoying. Garrett rolls his eyes. Carver has expressed his feeling on the mage plight very loudly, despite the fact that all of his siblings are mages, Garrett is sure it's jealousy really, that Carver missed out on magical abilities. Garrett and the group approach the Tal Vashoth mercenary Maraas' camp ahead of them.

"We're not here to bother you" Garrett tells Maraas "But we're looking for a mage" Maraas looks to the small party before standing.

"Smells of lilac and gooseberries, dresses in black and white?" he asks, Garrett raises an eyebrow and looks to the others, Anders nods.

"Yeah" Garrett answers.

"You should hurry, the Templars passed by not half an hour ago looking for your mage" Maraas sits back down at his fire. "They headed South" Maraas throws a log onto the fire. "But the mage is West" Maraas looks to Garrett who smirks. Garrett and the others take off West.

.................

By the time the group reaches Yennefer's cave, the templars have already found her, they follow the sound of metal clashing and the flashes of magic. Though by the time they reach the actual fighting the mage is standing surrounded by unconscious templars, they choose not the kill them then. Carver glances to the mage first, his eyes widening.

"Yen?" Carver asks looking over Yennefer, she snaps to him and holds out her hands towards him, the glow of her magic in her palms, Garrett slides his staff away and moves to Carver's side to look over the mage in front of them, the terrified raven haired mage, his sister, his twin.

"Yenny" Garrett whispers stepping closer, Yennefer steps back from them, her eyes flickering around each of them. It's been six years since she's seen her brothers, puberty has come and gone for them all but they are recognisable. "Yenny...it's Garrett, what are you doing here?" he asks her softly. "Why aren't you...at the tower?" Anders shoots Garrett a look, Garrett gives him one back, he'll explain later.

"Garrett?" Yennefer asks lowering her hands, the shine from her magic dimming, her brothers get a good look at her now, pale, gaunt, sickly, she is along way from the healthy teen they last saw. "Carver?" she looks to her younger brother who slides his sword away.

"Oh Yenny" Garrett whispers. Anders frowns and steps closer.

"Yennefer?" he asks, Yennefer looks to him, she cocks her head.

"Anders" she states, he laughs and moves towards her. "You finally made it to Kirkwall?" she asks softly.

"Wait, you two know one another?" Varric asks looking between them.

"We were in the Circle together" Anders answers. "Though that was...at least four years ago now...how did you escape?" he asks her, she stares at him.

"You don't know, do you?" she asks, he frowns at her.

"Know what?" he asks back. Garrett and Carver share a look before Garrett moves to his twin.

"Yenny....what are you doing out here?"

"I...I had to leave" She whispers to him. "Had to...there....was an incident" she tells him reaching out tentatively to touch him. "Garrett?" she asks, he takes her hand and smiles.

"I'm here, Yenny" she looks up at him, those purple eyes filling with tears already, he pulls her closer and wraps an arm around her.

....................

Anders sits next to Yennefer tending to a cut on her arm where a templar had gotten lucky, Carver sits across from them watching, just staring at his big sister. Garrett paces waiting for Yennefer to offer some form of explanation.

"Yenny..." Garrett states. "How did you get here?" Yennefer shrugs and then sighs.

"I've been here almost a year now" she corrects, Carver and Garrett share a look. "I suppose....it all started after Ostegar" she starts. "When Senior Enchanter Uldred returned he convinced us that supporting Loghain would mean that the Circles would be given more freedoms...." she looks to her arm as Anders finishes. "Wynne, she....she told us of Loghain's treachery.....So Grand Enchanter Irving called for a meeting for the Circle to discuss our alliance....Uldred kept trying to explain away Loghain's actions, but the other mages they didn't want to hear it.....so he tried to leave. Irving wouldn't allow it though, and Uldred attacked us, along with a group of blood mages supporting him...." Yennefer looks down. "Garrett....the things they did..." she looks to him. "I...Uldred he...played with us, with the mages and the templars, he tried to break us, to get us to join him. In the end....there were only a handful of mages left living.....and just as many templars....the tower it...so many people died" she clasps her hands together to stop them from shaking. "We were given an option, we could stay or we could be transferred....I chose to stay, it was my home...and it was close to Lothering.....but the templars.....those that were left, everything was just...barely hanging on. A templar snapped at me and I ran..." she looks to Carver. "I went to Lothering first" she tells him. "But there was nothing left, the Blight had...decimated it" she looks to Garrett. "I thought you were all dead, I didn't know to look for you here.....If I did" Garrett moves to crouch at her side, takes her hands.

"We're here now...." he kisses her hand.

"What happened?" she asks him. "How did you escape?" Garrett smirks.

"A dragon helped" Yennefer raises an eyebrow.

"Believe it or not" Carver offers. "It's true" Yennefer looks to him.

"You I believe" she whispers, Carver smirks, both knowing that Garrett has a knack for storytelling.

"And you'll come back to the city with us" Garrett tells Yennefer.

"No" Yennefer shakes her head. "No, I'll stay here....away from....people and templars....I'll just stay here" she pulls her hands away from Garrett.

"Yenny" Garrett whispers. "The templars found you" he reminds her. "And mother will want to see you...and Bethany" Yennefer glances to him as Varric enters the cave.

"Whatever we are doing we should do it fast, the templars are waking" Yennefer looks to the mouth of the cave and then sighs.

"It seems I have little choice" she whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of Dragon Age 2 will fly by in this, I'll do the main quests. 
> 
> Some interactions between post-Kinloch Cullen and post-Kinloch Yennefer. (Over the next 10 years they will drift closer to one another again, though just as sort of friends, he'll sneak out of the Gallows to spend time with her, despite her insistence that she doesn't want him around her - she's lying, she misses her best friend)


	4. Mother - Daughter

Anders glances to Yennefer who stands huddled up with Carver as Garrett talks to Anders. Yennefer looks dead on her feet, having been months since she's slept properly without nightmares. The events of Kinloch still haunting her sleep, the scars she bears on the inside impossible to run from.

“She'll be fine” Anders assures Garrett. “She just needs a good nights sleep and some proper food...” Garrett nods.

“I thought I wouldn't see her again....after we came here, I thought that there was no way of...and there was no word on how far the Blight spread”

“Well she's here....look after her” Anders pasts his shoulder and then walks away, Garrett takes a deep breath and moves to his sister, he takes her hand and they walk through Lowtown, Carver glances to Garrett who shrugs back and pulls Yennefer closer.

“So we're staying with Uncle Gamlen.....you remember him right? Mother used to tell us about him”

“I remember” Yennefer whispers, there is a loud noise in one of the allies, probably a cat, but Yennefer jerks around to it, alarmed. Carver take her other hand.

“It's just a cat” he tells her, soothing his thumb over the back of her hand. He looks to Garrett who kisses her head.

“Come on, we're nearly there. Bethany is going to be over the moons” Garrett tells her, trying to cheer her up.

“Mother too” Carver adds.

…...............

Leandra has yet to let go of Yennefer, an hour later and Leandra keeps having to check her eldest daughter is there, is really there with them.

“Oh look at you” she whispers touching Yennefer's cheek, Yennefer smiles slightly. “You're so grown up...and so beautiful” Leandra brushes Yennefer's hair back. “I can't believe it's been six years, oh my baby girl” Leandra clasps both of her cheeks. “You know, your father was so proud of you, of what you did....” Yennefer looks across at Bethany who looks away from her big sister. Leandra follows Yennefer's eyes. “She feels guilty” Leandra whispers. “She blames herself for what happened to you”

“It's not her fault” Yennefer corrects. “I made the choice, I choose to take the blame”

“But that doesn't change how she feels” Leandra strokes Yennefer's cheek. “She's missed you though” Yennefer nods.

“I've missed her too....I've missed all of you” Yennefer sniffles and looks to her mother, Leandra kisses her cheek.

“Go talk to her” Leandra offers nodding to Bethany, Yennefer stands and moves to her baby sister, Bethany looks up at her, eyes wet with tears.

“I'm sorry” Bethany tells her. “I'm so sorry” Yennefer shakes her head and hugs Bethany who clutches to her back.

“It's okay, Bethy” Yennefer tells her softly. Gamlen approaches Leandra.

“Where is she going to sleep? We barely have space as it is? And what are we going to do about food?” Leandra looks to him.

“She's my daughter....”

“She can have my bunk” Garrett offers. “I'll sleep on the floor” Gamlen looks dissatisfied as he walks away. Garrett wraps an arm around Leandra who smiles.

“All my babies back together again” she tells him, Garrett smiles and kisses her head.

“Don't worry about food and coins....we'll figure something out” Garrett tells her, Leandra smiles and nods.

“I know you will” she tells him, pats his chest and walks away. Garrett moves to Yennefer and Bethany who smile at him, he hugs them both.

…...............

Garrett sits with his back against the bunk Yennefer sleeps in, her fingers curled into his hair, he doesn't mind, they used to do it as kids and if that's a comfort for her then he really doesn't mind, he turns over the amulet given to him by Flemeth.

“What is that?” Yennefer asks sleepily, Garrett looks to her.

“Go back to sleep” he mumbles taking her hand from his hair.

“Tell me what it is first” she holds out her hand and Garrett sets the amulet into her palm.

“I have to give it to Marethari”

“The Dahlish elf?” Yennefer asks, Garrett raise an eyebrow at her. “I spent some time with them when I arrived here, healing their wounded” Garrett stands and takes the amulet before kissing her forehead.

“Settled then you'll come with us up to Sundermount to talk to them....” Yennefer shakes her head.

“No...I don't...I don't get involved in things” she pulls her blanket over her head to hide from him. Garrett crouches again and pulls the blanket away.

“I know that you're still.....hurt over what happened at the Circle” he strokes her hair. “But getting out there.....it could be good for you” she glances to him. “Make some news friends....”

“Garrett.....I don't know how to” she admits. “I had two friends in the tower...Anders when he was there.....and...” she looks away. “A templar”

“A templar?” he asks. “You were friends with a templar”

“Shut up” she tells him. “We're not friends any more....far from it...so what does it matter?” she turns away from him, Garrett frowns and sighs.

“Yenny, were you and this templar.....were you more than friends?” Yennefer curls up tighter.

“I loved him” she admits. “But it doesn't matter any more, please drop it” he kisses her head and stands.

“Alright...I'll be back later I just need to talk to Varric about Sundermount”

“I'll be here” she whispers, he looks to her sadly before leaving. 

…................

_Yennefer smiles as she lifts up the bottom of her mage robes to sit across Cullen's lap, he smiles back at her, they'd snuck out of their beds to spend some time alone together, just the two of them tucked away at the back of the library, the section of books so obscure that no one ever comes down there. This isn't the first time they've snuck out and it will probably not be the last. Yennefer takes his hand and pulls off his gloves and sets them aside, his fingers thread through her hair pulling free the small braids at the side as his lips find her neck, he knows, he knows just how sensitive her neck is. She closes her eyes as her fingers work on the gauntlets on his arms, she knows his uniform by heart now, where the clasps and laces are. His fingers touch her neck, tilting her head back, he hair falling over her shoulders._

_“Jenny” he whispers against her neck before his fingers wrap around her neck and squeezes, she gasps and grabs onto his wrist trying to pry him off of her. “Blood mage” he snarls. “Abomination....” he tilts her backwards pressing her against the hard floor of the library, squeezes her throat tighter, she struggles to breath, claws at his chest plate._

_“Cullen” she begs, he leans closer to her ear._

_“I wish you were dead” he tells her._

…..................

Yennefer bolts awake, panting, her necklace glowing, she reaches up for her neck and lowers her head to cry. There is a cooing noise to her left and she turns to look at the crow sat on the barrel next to the bed, she smiles and reaches for him.

“I'm alright” she tells him as he jumps onto her arm. "It's just a bad dream" she whispers, it's partially the truth, the setting may be wrong but the words, the words are but a few he spat at her before she left the Circle, those words hurt more than anything Uldred did to her. Yennefer sniffles and strokes the birds head. 


	5. Merrill

 

“Did you sleep much?” Garrett asks watching Yennefer pull on her jacket and tightening the belt.

“A little” she answers.

“I heard you wake” he admits, she looks to him. “If you want to talk about them.....your nightmares”

“I'm fine, Garrett” she tells him grabbing her shoulder satchel and pulling it over her head. “It's nothing you can help me with” she kisses his cheek. “But thank you” she whispers, he takes her hand and smiles.

“Are you sure about this?” he asks her.

“You were right. It might do me good to get out there....” she sighs. “It's just....”

“Templars won't get you again” he promises her. “We'll make sure of that” he cups her cheek and smiles, she smiles back. “Come on” he heads out, Yennefer follows after him.

…....................

Reaching the pathway to Sundermount Garrett and Yennefer approach two figures, that turn to look at them.

“Hawke” Fenris greets, Isabela looks over Yennefer and smirks.

“Who's the little raven?” Isabela asks, Garrett looks to her and then Yennefer.

“Yennefer Hawke” Garrett introduces. “My twin” Fenris and Isabela raise an eyebrow at Yennefer who looks away from both of them. “Play nice” Garret warns. Isabela moves closer to Yennefer.

“Well she definitely got the beauty, and I'm guessing the brains as well” she teases, Yennefer smirks a little as Garrett huffs. “Because we all know you have none, Garrett”

“Hahahaha” Garrett laughs mockingly. “Why are we friends?” he asks. He winks at Yennefer who smiles at him a little. “Come on, let's not keep the elves waiting” he teases walking away, Isabela and Fenris follow after him, Yennefer takes a deep breath and then follows after them.

….................

Garrett, Yennefer and the other approach the Dalish camp at the bottom of Sundermount, two elves standing guard glance over them.

"Hold, shemlen! Your kind are not welcome among the Dalish" the male elf tells them.

"I'm not expecting tea and cakes, I just need to see someone" Garrett responds.

"There's nothing here for any human" he tells Garrett back, Yennefer pulls down her hood, the two elves look to her.

“An'eth'ara” Yennefer greets, the two elves relax. “They're here with me” she tells them.

“Yennefer” the female elf greets. “An'eth'ara”

“Where is Keeper Marethari?” Yennefer asks.

“By the fire” the male elf points towards the fire. “Our apologies for the hostility” Garrett nods impressed looking to Yennefer who pulls her hood up over her head. Yennefer heads into the camp, Garrett walks at her side.

“When you said you stayed with them?” he asks, she looks to him.

“I still heal them when they ask for it......I'm rather gifted” she nudges him and smiles, he kisses her head and wraps an arm around her shoulders. Behind them Fenris glares at Yennefer, Isabela smirks and leans closer.

“They're twins” she points out. “They share an unbreakable bond....you want him, get her to like you” Fenris shoots her a dirty look.

“I don't want him” Fenris argues, Isabela laughs jogging to catch up to Yennefer and Garrett. Fenris looks to the twins. “Mages” he grumbles.

…...........

Yennefer pulls her hood down again approaching the woman at the fire.

"Marethari" Yennefer greets walking towards the Dalish keeper.

"Yennefer" Marethari greets back, Yennefer looks to Garret.

"This is my brother, Garrett, he actually has something for you" she nods to Garrett who steps forward.

"I was told to bring you this amulet" Garrett holds out the amulet. Maratari takes it and looks over it.

"Andaran atish'an, travellers.....I am Keeper Marethari" she greets and then looks to Garrett. "Let me look at you" Marethari looks over Garrett. "There is a light in your heart, human, don't let it go out, you will need it, tell me how this burden fell to you, child”

"This amulets owner rescued my family from the Blight, in return I agreed to bring it to you" Garrett tells her touching Yennefer's arm.

"I honour you for coming to me but I am afraid your part in this is not done yet, the amulet must be taken to an altar at the top of the mountain and given a Dahlish rite for the departed, then return the amulet to me. Do this and your debt will be repaid" Marethari telles Garrett.

"Are you going to teach me this rite for the departed?” he asks back.

"I will send my first with you, she will see to it that the ritual is done. And when it is complete I must ask that you take her with you when you go"

"That seems a little odd"

"It is her wish and I must grant it. You will find Merrill waiting for you on the trail up the mountain. Dareth shiral" Marethari walks away from them, Garrett turns to Yennefer, Fenris and Isabela.

“Fancy a trek up the mountain?” he asks them with a smirk. Yennefer shoots him a look and sighs.

“That way is up the mountain” she offers pointing to a path leading away from the camp. Garrett smiles and swings his arms at his side.

“Come on, it'll be fun” he teases them, none of them look enthusiastic. 

…...............

Garret approaches the hunched over elf sat on the mountain path, she seems to sense them coming and quickly puts whatever is in her hand away before standing and facing them. Yennefer frowns watching the elf, a sense of magic washing over her, like the sort of magic she feels using her necklace, old and powerful.

“Oh” the elf states. “I didn't hear. You must be the one the keeper told me of. An'eth'ara” she greets. “I'm so sorry. I didn't ask your name, unless it's rude to ask a human their name, is it? I'm Merrill, which you probably knew already. I'm rambling, sorry”

“You'll have to work harder than that to offend me” Garrett reassures her. “My Name's Garrett Hawke....this is my sister Yennefer, and my friend, Fenris and Isabela” he motions to the three of them as he states their names. Isabela waves a little at Merrill.

“Thank you, I'm afraid I'm not very experienced with your kind. The Keeper said you came from Ferelden, I spent most of my life there, we only came north a few years ago. Have you been in the Free Marches long? Do you like it here?” Merrill asks.

“I've lived in Kirkwall for about a year now” Garrett answers. He glances to Yennefer. “It's a good place for a fresh start” she glances to him and then away.

“Really?” Merrill asks. “Hmmm I hope you're right. We should go, your task is for Asha'bellanar, it's not wide to make her wait” Merrill turns and starts up the mountain, Yennefer follows behind with Garrett and then behind them Fenris and Isabela.

 


	6. Blood Mage

 Yennefer slows as they reach an open part of path, Fenris frowns and glances to her as she looks to the ground, six weird shaped patches surround them.

“What is it?” Fenris asks, Yennefer holds out her hand, her magic coming to her fingertips just as six corpses burst out of the ground, Fenris grabs his sword from his back, Isabela her daggers, and Garrett and Merrill their staves, Yennefer raises her hand and then pulls it down, using the Fist of the Maker on the closest corpse, it slams into the ground and then all hell breaks loose, Merrill's staff moves with precision where as Garrett is more about sharp choppy movements, Fenris glows with his lyrium tattoos and is his own force of nature as he fights. And Isabela, she moves with poise, grace and speed, almost missable as she fights.

“Down!!” Yennefer shouts, Fenris and Isabela share a look as Garrett drops to the ground, they follow, Merrill too. Yennefer rolls her arms and brings her hands together creating a blue ball of energy, she pulls her hands apart before closing them again and then looking up and yanks them apart, a blast of telekentic energy blasting out from her, knocking all the corpses to their asses. None get up again. Yennefer lowers her arms and looks around as Fenris pushes himself up with his sword, he looks to Garrett who moves to Yennefer and touches her arm, she rolls her eyes at him. “I'm not a child any more, Gar” she tells him as Isabela gets to her feet. “I learnt how to distribute my mana effectively whilst at the Circle” Garrett looks to her before turning to Merrill.

“The Keeper didn't mention you were a mage”

“I imagine it's hard to give away something nobody wanted” Fenris mumbles.

“All keepers know a bit of old magic. The stories tell us that all elvhen once had the gift, but that like so many things has been lost. It's a keepers jo to remember, to restore what we can” Merrill tells them.

“Please, keep turning skeletons into toads for us” Garrett tells Merrill trying to make her feel better about this.

“But I never....” Merrill realises and nods. “Right, not literally. Happy to help. I've done a little fighting before but...it was always on my own. I'll try not to hit anyone. On our side I mean. I'm babbling again. Let's go” Merrill turns and walks away. Yennefer grabs Garrett's arm before he can follow.

“Gar” she whispers, he looks to her. “Can you feel it?” he frowns. “There's a darkness surrounding her....and I've seen it before” they share a look. “Be careful around her” he nods and follows Merrill, Yennefer follows, catching up to Fenris and Isabela. Merrill glances to Yennefer.

“You don't use a staff” Merrill points out looking to her own.

“Never has” Garrett adds. “She's never had trouble with channelling....”

“Plus carrying a staff draws attention” Yennefer states. “It's what templars look for first” she points out, Garrett turns thoughtful. “They're not exactly concealed, Garrett, it's like wearing a big sign that says...mage right here” she tells him, Garrett looks to his staff.

“It's not that big” Isabela bursts into the filthiest laugh ever heard, Garrett rolls his eyes but smirks as they head onwards.

…...............

Reaching the peak the group approach a barrier erected between them and their destination, Merrill and Garrett walk closer to it.

“I can open they way” Merrill offers. “One moment” she moves closer still to the barrier and then slices open her hand, performing blood magic, Yennefer stiffens considerably, bringing her magic to her fingertips, ready in case she needs it. Blood magic. She can't do this again, she can't be around it. Not after what she suffered through at the hand of them, she steps backwards away from Merrill.

“Blood mage” Yennefer growls.

“Foolish, very foolish” Fenris agrees.

“Yes, it was blood magic” Merrill tells them. “But I know what I'm doing”

“That's what they all say” Yennefer tells her back. “Next thing you know there's abominations and demons wreaking havoc and mages are being tortured into becoming possessed by them” Yennefer grabs her chest and starts breathing heavily.

“Yenny?” Garrett asks, Yennefer waves him off turning away from them as she powers through her panic attack.

“I'll stay with her” Isabela offers. “You three go one ahead” she shoots Garrett a look, he sighs and nods walking away with Merrill, Fenris sighs and follows. Isabela moves to Yennefer and sits beside the mage.  “What did they do to you?” Isabela asks, Yennefer glances to her and then away. “It's okay, I won't tell anyone” 

“I just....It's nothing” Yennefer pushes herself back to her feet. “Unlike Garrett and Bethany I was part of a circle....it's pretty much instilled in us from day one to be afraid of blood mages” she sighs. “Look tell Garrett I went home, I can't...be around it” she turns and heads back towards the cave entrance. Isabela stands and watches her disappear into the cave.

….................

Yennefer manages to find Anders' run down clinic in Darktown, she pushes her way through the door and pauses to watch him work, rushed off of his feet, helping, healing, this she can do, she pulls off her cloak and moves to his side.

“Tell me what to do” she tells him, he looks to her and then to the sick and injured littered around the clinic, he nods and looks back to her.

“Take the left, I'll take the right” she nods and touches his arm before moving to the left hand side cots.


	7. Downtime

Yennefer shrugs out of her jacket and sits on the edge of her bunk, Garrett leans in the doorway watching her.

“I know why you left” he tells her. She pulls off her boots and sighs.

“It was a panic attack” she informs him. “Happens every now and again when I get worked up over blood mages” she tells him standing and running her fingers through her hair. “You have to understand why they make me jumpy, Gar” she sighs and moves to her brother. “It was horrible” she tells him. “The things I saw in the Circle...” he wraps his arms around her. “I watched my friends die or become abominations in front of me....because of blood magic....”

“It's alright, you're not there any more.....and don't worry about Merrill, you don't have to go anywhere near her...” Yennefer sighs into his chest, he strokes her hair.

“I've missed this” she tells him. “I've missed you”

“I've missed you too” he kisses her head and pulls back touching her cheek. “What did you do? After you left the mountain?”

“I helped Anders out in his clinic” she tells him moving back to the bunk, she sits down and sighs. “I think I prefer healing to fighting” she tells him. He chuckles and unbuckles his own jacket.

“A lover not a fighter huh?” he teases, she pokes the back of his leg with her foot, he chuckles.

“Not much chance of love when you're trying to outrun templars, brother” she teases back, he sits next to her.

“Well what about that one templar...” he starts.

“I don't want to talk about him” she whispers wrapping an arm around herself, Garrett presses his head to the side of hers.

“What did he do?” he asks her, she shakes her head and pulls back.

“I don't want to talk about about him” she repeats and looks to her lap, Garrett brushes tears from her cheek, she curls into his side and lets him wrap an arm around her.

“We're heading to the coast again tomorrow, if you want to come with us” she shrugs.

“I don't know....maybe, I actually thought I might spend the day with Mother” Garrett looks to her.

“That actually sounds like a brilliant idea” he tells her. “Mother will like that” he kisses her head. “Get some sleep” she nods and squeezes his arm before laying down, Garrett covers her with a blanket and then moves to sit on the floor.

.........................

Lenadra touches a small ring at the market stall and glances to Yennefer who touches some mage robes, Yennefer's actually surprised they have the balls to sell mage wares so openly.

“Yen” Leandra calls. “What do you think of this?” Yennefer smiles at the stall owner and sets the robes down.

“I'll be back” Yennefer tells the stall owner before moving to her mother who points out the ring she'd been looking at. “It's a little....masculine for you” Leandra chuckles.

“It's for your brother, Carver, the twins birthday's are coming up....I know we don't have much in the way of money”

“He'll love it” Yennefer tells her. “If you want” Yennefer leans closer to her mother. “I could....add a little something” she gives her mother a look, Leandra smiles and hugs Yennefer's arm pulling a few coins from her coin purse and hands them over, the stall owner setting the ring into a small black box and hands it over. Leandra takes it and smiles in thanks.

“What were you looking at?” Leandra asks.

“Oh just some robes....I well...I haven't had any new ones since the I gained my Enchanter ones back......back at the Tower and these...” she looks at her tatty robes. “Well...they've seen better days” Yennefer smiles and shrugs. “Did you see anything for Bethy?”

“Not yet, but I will keep looking” Leandra offers and holds out Carver's ring. “Do you want to take this now or later?” Yennefer takes it and smiles.

“I'll take it now....and I'll work something out.....back in the Circle they said I showed great promise at enchanting” Leandra looks to her sadly.

“Your father really was proud of you” she tells her. “And I know that he hated that you went away........” Yennefer looks down. “But he was proud of the choice you made” Yennefer looks to her mother and smiles a little.

“I wish I could have seen him” Yennefer offers. “One last time...before...” Leandra cups Yennefer's cheek. “Before he died....If I'd known...”

“None of us did, sweetheart” Leandra kisses her cheek. “I hated letting you leave with the templars, you were my little girl and they took you away for being special” Yennefer smiles, she's missed her mother's outlook on mages, on how she sees them all as special and extraordinary and not monsters or abominations. Yennefer hugs her mother.

“I love you” Yennefer tells her warmly, Leandra sniffles.

“I haven't heard that from you in six years” Yennefer pulls back and smiles at her mother.

“Come on, let's find something for Bethy and then I will make us dinner” Leandra smiles at her daughter as they walk through Lowtown.

…................

Garrett kisses Yennefer's cheek as he sits between her and Bethany, Carter, Leandra and Gamlen sit across from them, dinner, the whole family.

“This looks great” Carver tells them. “What is it?” he asks, Yennefer throws a bread roll at him and he laughs dodging it.

“Your sister has been slaving all afternoon” Leandra scolds. “Be nice...”

“Are they many chances to cook in the circle?” Gamlen asks, Yennefer looks down straightening the napkin on her knee.

“Gamlen” Leandra scolds.

“I was just asking” Gamlen argues.

“We did everything ourselves, like someone in the outside world would” Yennefer answers. “Just with templars breathing down our necks” she stirs the stew in her bowl. “I was thinking I might go to the Chantry later” she tells them.

“Is that safe?” Bethany asks. “I mean...”

“I've learnt to be careful....” Yennefer answers softly. “You could come with me, if you wanted?” Garrett looks between his sisters.

“Actually” they both look to him. “I was hoping Yen would come with me to see the Qunari”

“You know how they feel about mages, right?” Yennefer asks him, Garrett frowns.

“No” Yennefer sighs and shoots him a look. “What? How do you know?”

“I read” she teases. “One of the banned books in the Circle was on the Qunari”

“Then you'll come” Garrett tells her, she blinks and looks to him.

“I never said I would” she argues, Garrett smirks at her, she rolls her eyes. “Fine...but then me and Bethy are going to the Chantry” Garrett side hugs his sister and chuckles.

 


	8. Arishok

Anders smiles and waves at Yennefer as she and Garret approach where he and Fenris stand across from one another, both actively ignoring the other.

“Ready?” Garrett asks turning into the Qunari compound, he approaches the 'guard'. “Let me pass, I have business with the dwarf, Javaris and your Arishok” the Qunari looks down at Garrett.

“The short mouth, yes. Enter, if you must, Basra” he motions and the gate opens, Garrett looks Yennefer who gives him a wary look, they head into the compound. Javaris turns to watch the group approaching him.

“Ah, my right hand arrives!” Javaris states turning back to the 'throne' ahead of them. “Summon your Arishok – the bargain is done” the Qunari share a look as Garret reaches the dwarf's side, Anders stands with Yennefer, Fenris on Garrett's other side. Javaris turns to Garrett. “About time you showed. I've been here for hours” The ground practically shakes as the Arishok walks to his throne and sits down, he's huge, even for a Qunari, and his horns are adorned in gold cuffs that rattle as he walks. Anders and Yennefer share a look. Fenris steps forward.

“Arishokost. Maraas shokra. Anaan esaam Qun” Fenris tells the Arishok, Garrett looks to him a little impressed.

“The Qun from an elf? The madness of this....place” the Arishok responds.

“Friend of yours?” Garrett asks Fenris.

“Friend of no one” Fenris answers.

“Ominous” Yennefer whispers.

“Yes, well, that said” Jarvaris takes the attention back. “I am here to report that your hatred Tal-Vashoth were felled one and all. Right? Yes , they were. So, I am ready to open negotiations. For the explosive powder. As we agreed”

“No” The Arishok states plainly. Javaris looks to Garrett.

“He's not getting it. Make your chatty elf say something” Garrett sighs and looks to Fenris.

“Any ideas that could help?” he asks.

“Qunari do not abandon a debt” It's Yennefer that answers. Garrett looks to her alarmed. “I humbly request clarification from the Arishok”

“What are you doing?” Garrett asks her.

“I read it in a book” she answers, the Arishok watches Yennefer.

“I have a growing lack of disgust for you. The dwarf imagined a deal for the Gaatlok. He invented a task to prove his worth. When he has none” Yennefer frowns, lowering her head before lifting it again.

“Then we have wrongly inserted ourselves in your affairs” she tells him. “Would you have us kill the dwarf?” she asks, Javaris looks to her alarmed.

“Wait! What now?”

“If you faced the Tal-Vashoth he is not worthy of dying to you. As he was not worthy of dying to them....but you...you keep good company, let him live and leave” Garrett steps forward.

“He had big plans for your recipe. I was supposed to get a piece of that” Garrett states.

“Dwarf, did your imaginary bargain make promises on my behalf?”

“I....expected your wisdom to be more profitable” Javaris answers, the Qunari around them start to shift, weapons to hands.

“Then you will pay on my behalf” The Arishok tells him, Javaris hands Garrett a coin purse.

“Sod it all, take your coin. Take whatever” he turns and walks away. “Horn-head oxman and mongrel dog lords. Suck your own powder and blow your head off. Sod it” the Arishock turns to Garrett.

“You will leave as well, human. There's no more coin for you here” Garrett nods and backs away, he grabs Yennefer's hand and pulls her along, she knows he's about to scold her, she can read it on his face. They leave the compound, the gate closing behind them, Garrett turns to Yennefer.

“What were you thinking?” Garrett scolds her.

“I was trying to help” Yennefer argues back.

“She did help” Fenris agrees. “She went about it the right way....if it wasn't for her, that could have gone a lot worse” Garrett sighs softly.

“Sorry” he tells Yennefer. “Just....”

“You were worried about me” Yennefer points out. “Like you should be” she nudges him and walks away. “Now I am going to pick Bethy up, do try to stay out of trouble” she teases, Garrett sticks out his tongue at her as she turns the corner, he sighs and looks to Fenris and Anders.

….................

“Look at this place, Yenny” Bethany tells Yennefer as they walk through the Chantry. ““The Chantry back in Lothering was nothing like this”

“Be quiet, stop making a scene” Yennefer grabs Bethany's arm and pulls her away from the statue. “The templars probably come here all the time”

“Look, I know you hate the templars, Yennefer. But I don't”

“I don't hate them, Bethany” Yennefer admits sitting down on one of the pews. “I just....don't like them very much” Bethany chuckles a little. “You're lucky, you don't know what it's like...”

“I'm sorry” Bethany tells her, completely guilt ridden.

“Oh, no, Beth I wasn't.....that's not what I meant, I don't blame you for what happened all those years ago. It's okay”

“No, it's not” Bethany tells her. “You think we can't see the difference in you, it's been six years, Yenny, where's the girl that laughed at everything, that braided flowers in my hair, and made Carver blush in front of the village girls....who used drive Father crazy when she'd prank the templars” Yennefer looks down.

“She's gone, Bethany, and she's not coming back....now I'm going to the clinic, are you coming?”

“You know I'm terrible at healing” Bethany admits.

“Then I'll teach you, what are big sister's for?” Yennefer holds out her hand to Bethany who takes it. “This way we can use our Maker given curse for good” they both leave.

…................

Knight-Captain Cullen glances to the two hooded girls chuckling as they head away from the Chantry, he smiles a little and shakes his head heading inside the Chantry himself.

…................

Cullen takes a deep breath, there is something very familiar about the smell in the Chantry and more than just the smell of their incense and book pages. He takes a deep breath, breathing it in. Lilacs and gooseberries and magic. He hasn't smelt that in what feels like forever. A year though. A year since he'd smelt that, when he'd had Yennefer corned, that smell haunted him for weeks, it lingered on him, on his uniform, his armour, in the corridors. He takes another deep breath and turns to the Andraste statue.


	9. Desire Demon

_Cullen sits behind Yennefer, his breath tickling her ear with every breath, he holds up a plant cutting and smirks._

_"What about this one?" He asks, she takes it from him and smiles._

_"Crystal grace" she answers, he picks up another herb, moving to kiss her neck, she smirks. "Cullen" she scolds. "I'm supposed to be studying"_

_"You know all this" he closes her herbal book and pushes it aside, she sighs._

_"And you know all the Chant of Light, yet you still practice" she tells him back, Cullen shrugs and kisses that spot behind her ear he knows she is weak for. She rolls her eyes and relaxes back against his chest, warm against her back, his fingers dancing across her ribs. "Cullen" she warns weakly._

_"We get so little time alone together" he tells her. "You want to spend it studying?" he asks, she looks to him, he raises an eyebrow._

_"Not really, no" she admits, he strokes her cheek, brushing her hair back, he smiles. "What?" she asks._

_"You're just so beautiful" she turns, pulling her mage robes up so she can straddle his waist, she wraps her arms around his neck to pull him closer. He frowns drawing his hand up to her cheek, something isn't right here, something doesn't feel right. He strokes her cheek and sees it, her eyes, they aren't violet, they're blue, Yennefer's eyes were beautiful, stunning, these are not. He pushes her off of him. "You're not my Jenny" he states, Yennefer cocks her head as she sits up, her form changing, a desire demon now sits before him._

_"Where did I go wrong?" she asks. Cullen shakes his head and covers his ears, slamming his eyes shut. "I know you still want her" the demon coos sliding closer. "I could give you what you want. The girl you love. A family. Isn't that what you want?" she touches his leg and he jerks away_.

...................

Cullen wakes in his bunk back in the Gallows, sits up and runs his fingers through his hair, it's been a while since he had that sort of dream, it's been a while since a demon's tried to...coerce him. He blames the smell in the Chantry earlier, the lilacs and gooseberries. He sighs and swings his legs over the edge of the bunk and takes a breath.

.................

Leandra touches Yennefer's shoulder as she passes the younger Hawke girl sits across from the fire, Garrett's mabari, Mal, sits at her feet.

"You're up early" Leandra tells her softly. Yennefer looks to her and smiles.

"I'm not used to sleeping in a cot" Yennefer explains. "I started breakfast" she motions to the pot of the fire and goes back to her journal. Leandra stares at her, worried, her daughter is quiet, she was never quiet, and as much as she loves having her daughter back she's not sure how much of Yennefer is her daughter any more. Leandra moves to where Garrett stretches.

"What's wrong?" Garrett asks eyeing his sister.

"I don't think she slept" Leandra answers. "Do something with her? Take her out with you, just stop her from stewing in here alone" Garrett nods and moves to his sister, Mal stirs and lifts his head to look at his master, Garrett scratches his head and sits across from Yennefer.

"Me and Caver are going to the Hanged Man tonight to play cards with Varric and Fenris.....if you want to come" Yennefer glances to him.

"Cards?" she asks. He nods.

"Wicked grace" he answers. "It's pretty easy once you learn" she smirks.

"I know how to play" she tells him. "We played in the Circle" she closes her journal. "I wouldn't want to take your hard earned coins, Gar" she teases setting her journal aside and moving to the pot over the stove. "And I use the term loosely, of course"

"Hey" he scolds lightly reaching for her journal, he lets out a small scream as a dagger pierces the table, Yennefer stands watching him.

"That's not for you" she tells him picking up her journal and yanking her dagger from the table. "I know you're all worried, but I'm fine" she tucks the journal into her robes and turns back to the pot of porridge. "Grab those bowls" she tells him.

"Yen" Garrett whispers, she sighs.

"I'm fine, Garrett" she tells him sternly grabbing the handle of the pot and lifting it from the fire. "I'm a big girl I don't need my big brother fussing over me" she sets the pot on the table and turns to Garrett.

"Alright" he whispers and kisses her head. "Sorry I asked" he moves to the table and grabs a stack of bowls. Yennefer grabs her satchel from the chair.

"I'm going to the coast" she mumbles and leaves, Garrett sighs.

"Where's Yen?" Bethany asks, Garrett nods to the door.

"She's gone out" Garrett answers handing Bethany a bowl, Carver looks to his big brother who holds out a bowl to him.

"What did you do?" Carver asks, Garrett shoots him a look. "She was fine when I spoke to her early, so you must have done something"

"Nothing" Garrett answers as Leandra reappears for breakfast.

................

Yennefer sits down at Maraas' camp, the Tal-Vashoth glances to her but says nothing, he doesn't mind this human, she's quiet and feeds him and patches him up.

"I met the Arishok" she states opening her journal in her lap, Maraas looks to her.

"And you live...." he teases, she smirks and shoots him a look. "Surprising" she reaches into her satchel and holds up a cluster of potions.

"So you'll not want these then" she shakes them at him, he rolls his eyes and stands to take them from her and sits at her side this time to fiddle with them. "I altered the amount of elfroot" she tells him. "You said it made you feel funny last time" he nods and turns the potions over in his hands.

"The one that came looking for you killed the other Tal-Vashoth" he tells her, she nods.

"He did" she admits, Maraas nods. "I'm not going to apologise...I know how you felt about them" he looks to her and then to her journal.

"What do you scribble in there?" she shrugs.

"Anything...." she looks to him. "Everything...it's better then bottling it up inside" she tells him.

 

 


	10. Hanged Man and Sister Petrice

Yennefer pushes open the door to the Hanged Man and looks around, most of the patrons stop to look at her.

"Yenna" Isabela shouts from the bar. "You made it" Yennefer heads towards her. "Corf....a mug for ale for my friend here" Corf glances between them and grunts before going to pour a drink. "Hawke said you might turn up" Isabela states leaning back against the bar. Corf sets a mug on the counter and Isabela waves him away. "Put it on Hawke's tab" she tells him, he sighs and walks away again. Isabela pushes the mug to Yennefer who takes it and screws up her nose. Isabela chuckles and nudges her.

"Where's Garrett?" Yennefer asks.

"Up in Varric's hovel, they're talking business" Isabela answers. "They'll come get us when they're done....try it" she encourages tapping the mug.

"I've never...." Isabela stares at Yennefer. "There was never really...an opportunity to..." Isabela smirks.

"Then all the more to do it now" Isabela smiles. "You're a free woman....act like it" Yennefer looks to the mug and then takes a sip, she cringes and pulls a face, Isabela laughs.

"That's disgusting" Yennefer mumbles setting the mug back on the bar.

"It is an acquired taste" Isabela tells her.

"Lilac, Rivani" Varric shouts, Isabela looks to him, he nods to the back room.

"That's us" Isabela states, Yennefer frowns.

"Does that make me Lilac?" she asks grabbing the mug and following Isabela who chuckles.

.......................

Garrett looks to Yennefer as she and Isabela enter Varric's room, Yennefer moves to the chair at his side.

"Sorry" Garrett offers as Yennefer sits at his side, she smiles a little and sets a mug of ale next to him as Isabela sits next to Carver with a wink, Garrett smiles and kisses Yennefer's cheek. "Deal Yen in" Garrett tells Carver who smiles at his sister.

................

Yennefer smirks dropping the last coin into her coin purse, she looks to Garrett who grumbles.

"I did warn you" she tells him attaching the purse to her belt.

"I thought you were joking" Garrett tells her back, she smirks and shrugs. Varric chuckles setting a pile of coins on the table.

"That's me settled, Lilac" he tells her, she smirks and takes the coins. "You were a surprise" he tells her warmly, she smiles down at him. "Considering the other Hawke's are terrible at cards"

"Whoa, hey!" Garrett scolds, Varric laughs. "We're not that bad"

"Then why do we never have any coins?" Carver asks pulling on his jacket with a smirk, Garrett pauses and then smirks.

"Fair enough" he wraps an arm around Yennefer and kisses her cheek. "Come on, let's go home" Yennefer snorts.

"Some home" she mumbles, Garrett looks to her softly and pulls her closer. "Take your fingers out my purse, Gar" she warns looking up at him, her fingers curling around his wrist, his hand in her coin purse. He smiles sheepishly at her and removes his hand.

.....................

Yennefer yawns as she leaves the Hanged Man with Carver, Garrett and Fenris. Carver sets his cloak over Yennefer's shoulder, she smiles at him.

"Thank you" she whispers, he kisses her cheek.

"Help!!" Garrett looks to the direction in which the scream came from, he looks to the others who all sigh, Yennefer shoots him a look but Garrett is already running towards trouble. Carver sighs pulling out his sword and heading after him. Fenris grumbles and follows slower with Yennefer.

"I'm starting to think this will become a common occurrence" Fenris grumbles spotting the thugs ahead, Yennefer hums in agreement. Garrett throws out a fireball and Yennefer grabs a rock from the ground, holds it close to her necklace that glows, she throws it out towards the thugs, the ground erupts beneath them, sending two flying, Fenris and Carver take out the remaining four. The woman, a chantry sister, who had been attacked stops cowering and turns to the foursome.

"Well, thank you for your timely intervention. I am....out of my element"

"A foolish risk in Lowtown" Garrett tells her, Yennefer sticks back with Carver.

"I had to come here to get the type of person I need. Someone of bloody skill, but also integrity, perhaps the kin who might leap to someone's defence" the Chantry sister tells them, full of double meaning, Yennefer has a bad feeling about this woman, a very bad feeling. "I have a charge who need passage from the city. If you are willing and capable, meet me at my safe house near by"

"Garrett" Yennefer warns, he looks to her and she shoots him a look, Garrett turns back to the Sister.

"You make a lot of assumptions. It almost got you killed already" Garrett tells her.

"All the more reason to end this quickly. You must need coin. Everyone here does" she glances behind them. "Varnell?" they all turn as a templar appears, Yennefer grabs onto Carver's hand, he glances to her and pulls her closer.

"Not so helpless I see" Garrett mumbles.

"I hope you will come. This matter only grows more urgent with time" The Sister leaves with her templar, Carver watches him go before turning to Yennefer who is now shaking and clutching rather tightly to his hand.

"He's gone" he tells her.

"I knew coming into the city was a mistake" she tells him back. "I should have stayed in my cave"

"You're just being paranoid" Garrett tells her. "I've been here more than a year and I've not been taken yet"

"Yet" Yennefer points out turning and walking away. "And I don't trust her" she tells them over her shoulder.

"She's a Chantry sister....what could possibly go wrong?" Garrett tells her back, she shoots him a look.

......................

Garrett looks down at the dead qunari mage, Fenris, Carver and Yennefer stood in a field of more qunari, it had been an ambush, more qunari waiting for them as they left the city with the mage, and as soon as Garrett has turned to her about mages they'd attacked. Yennefer crosses her arms over her chest and shoots Garrett a look.

"This, Garrett, this is what could go wrong" she tells him, he sighs and looks to her, she sighs and looks to the dead mage and then walks away.

 

 


	11. Wilmod

**_3 months later -_** Yennefer looks to the scroll in her hand and smiles, her fingers touching the parchment softly, Garrett frowns as he enters the house, his sister is smiling, not forced, or small, but a full on smile, like he hasn't seen since they were teens.

“Sister” he states, she hastily rolls the scroll away again and looks to him. “Is...is that” he points to her. “A smile?” she drops the smile and glares at him instead. “And it's gone” she tucks the scroll into her satchel.

“What do you want Garrett?” she asks standing and tucking her mail away.

“Your help” she sighs and looks to him.

“I thought we agreed after the mess you caused with the Saarabas that I wouldn't help you any more”

“I apologised for that, I didn't want him to die, Yenny, and to see a mage....” she sighs and looks to him.

“I warned you, I warned you about the Qunari and mages...” she tells him setting her bag on the side, Garrett eyes it carefully and then looks to his sister.

“This isn't a Qunari thing” he assures her. “It's a missing templar thing”

“Then I am very very very much not helping” she pats his chest and moves to the log book by the door.

“His sister's worried sick” he tells her. “We just want to give her peace of mind” she sighs and turns to him, he pulls his hand back from her bag and looks to her innocently.

“Where are we going?” she asks crossing her arms over her chest. He smirks victorious.

“The Coast” he answers holding out her bag to her, she rolls her eyes and snatches it from him.

…...............

Cullen approaches Wilmod who stands before him on the Storm Coast, the senior templar had followed him out there, something not sitting right with him.

“Andraste” Cullen grabs Wilmod's arms. “Be my witness, Wilmod. I will have the truth from you.”

“Mercy, sir, mercy”

“Were it that easy” Cullen growls at him.

“Don't hit me” Wilmod begs, Cullen knees Wilmod in the stomach, steps back as the young man doubles over, Cullen draws his sword and points it at Wilmod.

“I will know where you're going. And I will know now” Cullen is aware there are people behind him now, can feel them, but he doesn't let up.

“I thought templars only treated mages this badly. Nice to see you're branching out” Cullen turns to the man that spoke.

“This is templar busin...” Cullen's eyes find those of the woman stood behind the man, bright violet eyes staring back at him, familiar violet eyes, and they're wide with recognition too. “Jenny?” he asks, his sword arm wavering. She's still staring at him, fear creeping up into her eyes, and he hates that, hates that he is the cause of that fear, that pure terror in her eyes. Though their reunion will have to wait, Wilmod starts laughing manically as he rises to his feet.

“You have struck me for the last” Wilmod steps back from Cullen. “Time, you pathetic human” Wilmod holds out his arms. “To me!” A bright red light erupts from Wilmod.

“Down” Yennefer snaps and pushes the first man down whilst throwing her free hand out towards Wilmod, her necklace erupts with a black light. Wilmod jerks and the bright red light sparks and then shrinks, Yennefer pushes forward with her hand and the red light goes back into Wilmod, who then jerks around before falling to the ground, a stream of black smoke leaving his mouth. Yennefer drops her hand, her necklace stops glowing and she falls to her knees. Cullen steps forward to her but the first man gets there first.

“Yenny” The first man grabs her shoulders as she pants. Cullen stares at her, now they have the time, now he can really look at her. She's a year older, thinner, paler, but still just as beautiful. She looks to him and then draws closer to the other man, Cullen is a little, a lot, maker's breath he is really very jealous. Cullen looks to the unconscious form of Wilmod and turns to Yennefer.

“I knew” he tells them, Yennefer closes her eyes and looks away. “I knew he was involved in something sinister, but this....Is it even possible?” Cullen looks to Yennefer. “What did you do?” he asks her as she moves to her feet. She looks to the first man who wraps an arm around her shoulders, familiar but not....romantic, Cullen notes. He's relieved by that. Yennefer looks to Cullen, her fingers grabbing hold of the firsts robes.

“I...” she whispers and then clears her throat. “I killed the demon before it could manifest” she answers. “He'll be fine” she tells him, Cullen glances to Wilmod who groans. Cullen looks back to Yennefer who places herself further behind the other man, the pirate and warrior moving closer to her as well, sensing her....unease.

“Sooooo” the first man starts. “You two know one another” he points out.

“Garrett” Yennefer whispers. “Please can we just go” she stares up at him, begging, pleading to get as far away from Cullen. Garrett looks to her.

“Not yet, we have to figure out what happened” Cullen looks between them, sees it a little more now, definitely not romantic, siblings, even down to the eyes, the two pairs of violet eyes.

“I am Knight-Captain Cullen” Cullen decides to introduce himself.

“Garrett Hawke” Garrett introduces. “You clearly know my twin sister, Yennefer” Yennefer shoots Garrett a look. “And then that's Carver, our younger brother” Garrett motions to Carver. “And Isabela” Cullen glances to them all settling on Yennefer.

“Thank you for your assistance” Cullen places a hand on his sword to stop himself from reaching for her, just to check she really is stood there in front of him. “I've been conducting an investigation of some of the recruits who have gone missing. Wilmod was the first to return. I had hoped to confront him quietly, out of sight”

“We were trying to find another recruit actually” Garrett informs Cullen. “A friend of Wilmod's. Do you know where Keran is?” Cullen shakes his head.

“He also disappeared. They were last seen together at the Blooming Rose but I had no luck interrogating the...” Cullen glances to Yennefer. “Young ladies there. I doubt they know anything of magic and demons” Garrett smirks.

“I'll be willing to search there” he tells them, Yennefer rolls her eyes.

“The Order would truly be in your debt if you helped with this. No one at the brothel will speak with me for fear I would shut them down for serving our recruits. If you learn what manner of creature did this” he motions to Wilmod. “To Wilmod, please tell me in the Gallows. I will ensure you are rewarded” Garrett nods and looks to his sister who's clutching to his hand rather tightly. Cullen looks to her and then to Wilmod. “I should get him back to the Gallows” Cullen states moving to pull Wilmod up, the recruit groans. He glances to Yennefer who looks away from him before he leaves.

….................

Yennefer sits back at Gamlen's hovel, Garrett and the others had gone to the Rose to talk to the girls, Yennefer just wanted to be alone, having seen...him...after all this time. It hurt a lot more then she thought it would. She jerks in shock as someone knocks on the door, he told, he told the templars she's here, they've come for her. Leandra looks to her daughter concerned before moving to the door to open it. Yennefer turns in her seat to watch her mother, wary. Leandra turns to Yennefer.

“It's a gentleman caller for you” Leandra tells her, Yennefer frowns and stands, approaching the door warily, the others don't knock, if they want something they just walk in and no one else knows she's here. Leandra squeezes her arm and walks away, Yennefer pushes open the door and her eyes widen.

“I'm not here to cause trouble” Cullen tells her, he's forgone his Templar uniform, stands in tan breeches, a white tunic and boots, his hair all....messed up. “I just...”

“What?” she asks. “What do you want?” she holds a hand behind her back pulling her magic to her fingers.

“Please” she sighs and pushes open the door, moves further into the house to where she had been sat, Cullen enters and closes the door behind him and follows her, he looks around the sorry excuse for a house and then back to Yennefer as she crosses her arms over her chest, her fingers digging into her own arm. “I wanted to apologise” he tells her and motions for the seats, she sighs and sits, he does too, taking the chair across from her. “I should have done it a year ago, I wanted to....I tried to” she wraps an arm around herself as he leans forward. “Maker's breath, Jenny, I....” she glances to him as he struggles, something of the young man she met five years ago. Bumbling, tripping over his words. “I tried to find you, after.....after I said...” he rubs the back of his neck. “After I said those....those things, those unforgivable, horrible things to you. But you'd fled” he looks to her. “Do you think you could every forgive me?” he asks her. She looks to the fire, tears already forming. “Jenny” he whispers reaching for her hand, she jerks out of her seat and looks to him, utterly terrified, Cullen looks up at her, his own eyes filled with sadness, guilt, that fondness that used to be there.

“I will not....ease your mind simply....because you thought to apologise” she tells him. “You have no idea...how you made me feel” she whispers. “And to come to my home....” she whimpers and clutches her chest. “To...dare..”

“Jenny” he states standing.

“It's Yennefer” she corrects. “My name is Yennefer....you're not a simpering little templar any more” she scolds. “You can get my name right” he stares at her, she looks away from him. Cullen nods, he knew this would e too much to ask of her, too much, but he had to do it, he had to apologise. He turns to leave, moving towards the exit.

“I destroyed your phylactery” he tells her reaching the door. “I....I thought....it would be a start, that it would go towards some form of redemption” he glances back to her, she stares at him, wide eyed. “I hurt someone I cared for, someone that I loved, very much, and that guilt doesn't go away, Yennefer....this wasn't about putting my mind at ease....it was because you deserved an apology from me” he turns and leaves. Yennefer slides down the wall behind her and sits in the corner, pulling her knees to her chest as she lets herself cry.


	12. Puppy

Garrett sits down across from Varric who raises an eyebrow at him, Garrett looks to Mal who plunks himself down in front of the fire.

“I've been thinking” Garrett starts, Varric smirks.

“Well the is never a good sign” he teases back. Garrett shoots him a look. “About what?” Varric asks looking back to his letters.

“We're getting pretty close to the Deep Roads expedition, right?” Varric nods. “And well I wasn't planning on taking Yen” Varric looks up at him. “But I don't like the thought of leaving her here...unprotected”

“Lilac can look after herself” Varric tells him.

“I know that...but....” Garrett takes a deep breath. “I was wondering if you knew where I could get my hands on a mabari” Varric raises his quill and points it at Mal. “Not Mal....I want to get Yen her own mabari” Varric nods.

“I can put some feelers out” Varric tells him grabbing a sheet of parchment. “How's she been?”

“Distant” Garrett answers drawing a figure of eight on the table. “Since that Knight-Captain”

“He's Ferelden” Varric offers, Garrett looks to him. “If that explains anything”

“Perhaps” Garrett mumbles. “I don't know what to do, Varric, she won't talk to me”

“Lilac's been dealing with everything herself for years, Hawke....it's her defence, she's trying her best to be your sister again, but you keep forgetting that she's not the same person you grew up with and that's making it harder......I heard the rumours of what happened in the Ferelden Circle as I am sure you have....no one comes out of something like that in one piece” Varric offers Garrett a look. Garrett nods understanding. He has been treating Yennefer as if she is the same girl she was before she left, before the Circle claimed her, changed her, broke her. Varric is of course right, Garrett won't admit it to the dwarf though. Garrett stands and whistles for Mal who stands.

“I'll see you later” he offers as he and the mabari leave. Varric starts his letter.

…....................

Yennefer looks over the herb stall in the market and then glances to the list in her journal and then crosses off a herb before paying for it and setting the small pouch in her basket on her arm. She sighs.

“What do you want?” she asks feeling him stood behind her, his templar magic pressing against her own. It's how she always knew when he was approaching, something she used to love, the feel of his templar tricks searching for her, as if subconsciously, she knows better now. Cullen sighs and rubs the back of his neck.

“I...well....” she turns to him and raises an eyebrow. “I don't know” he admits. “I was passing and I saw you I just...” she sighs and looks to the basket in her arm, she shoves it at him.

“If you plan on stalking me you can help” she turns and walks along the stalls, Cullen smiles, it's progress that she's even willing to allow him near her, he follows her.

“Can I ask you something?” he asks as she leans over a stall to grab a handful of elfroot, she glances to him. “Where did you go? How'd you get here?” he asks her. “After you left” she hands over some coin for the herbs and sets them in the basket.

“I went to Lothering first” she answers. “It was my home...before...before the circle” he nods. “But it was gone” she turns and walks away, he follows. “One of the first places the Blight hit...so I assumed my entire family was dead” she tells him stopping at another stall. “I decided to try and get to the Free Marches....there were rumors that the Blight hadn't reached this far but crossing Ferelden was....difficult” she admits. “Between the Darkspawn, the bandits and the templars....it took longer then I wanted to reach Highever” she looks to him. “From there I boarded a ship.....” she sets another item in the basket. “I found a cave on the Wounded Coast....your templars found me....then Garrett found me.....and here I am” she hands some coins over to the stall owner and turns to Cullen. “What about you? How did you end up here?” she asks.

“After...our incident” she looks down. “I was sent to the Chantry at Greenfell until I 'leveled out'” he clears his throat, embarrassed. “And then I was sent here....”

“And promoted” she points out. “Knight-Captain” he rubs the back of his neck and shrugs. “Congratulations” she whispers and turns away.

“Jenny” she shoots him a look. “Yennefer” he corrects. “I meant my apology” he tells her.

“We'll see” she tells him back.

…................

“What is that?” Garrett asks looking to Varric before looking down at the cream and white puppy, that is not a mabari, in the small pen in front of him.

“An Avvar Snow Hound” The Avvar breeder answers. “Bred as guard, sled, and hunting hounds, as well as companions, strong, hardy, loyal, a fine choice” Garrett looks to Varric.

“Where's my mabari?”

“This is the best I could do on such short notice....and none of the mabari breeders were willing to cross the Waking Sea, they wouldn't risk their litters” Garrett sighs and looks down at the puppy.

“Well....he'll have to do”

“She” the breeder corrects. “It's a bitch” Garrett raises an eyebrow and looks down at the puppy who stares up at him, wagging it's tiny tail.

“Alright...” Garrett tells the breeder and holds out a coin purse, he takes it and smirks.

“Pleasure doing business with you” the breeder walks away, Garrett frowns.

“I feel we just got duped”

“Ah well....he may have said the pup was the runt of the litter” Varric offers. Garrett shoots him a look. “It was the best I could do” Varric repeats. Garrett looks to Mal, his mabari who leans his head over the top of the pen to look at the puppy.

“What do you think, buddy?” Garrett asks. “Think Yen will like her?” Mal barks his affirmation. Garrett leans down and lifts up the Snow hound. “I've never even heard of the breed” Varric shrugs as Fenris ventures closer.

“It is said that once upon a time the Avvar bred a mabari with a wild wolf...and the Snow Hound was the outcome” Fenris answers. “So you are kind of are getting a mabari” Garrett looks to him.

“Do you think Yen will like her?” he asks holding up the puppy.

“I am sure she will love her” Fenris answers, Garrett smiles tucking the puppy into his robes.

 

 

 

**A/N - THE AVVAR SNOW HOUND (JUST PICTURE A PUPPY VERSION FOR NOW)**

 


	13. Expedition Start

Yennefer looks to Cullen as they reach Gamlen's house. They'd both been silent as he'd walked her home, carrying her satchel for her, he holds it out now and she takes it from him.

“Thank you” she whispers and then looks up at him. “Why haven't you....taken me in?” she asks. “Why haven't you...take me to the circle?”

“Because” he pauses to think and then sighs. “I don't know” he admits. “I don't know why.....” she looks away, Cullen sighs. “Perhaps on some level...I can't bring myself to do it” she looks up at him. “Perhaps it's because I am afraid of what they might do to you.....” he reaches for her face. “Perhaps it's because I still care for you” she pulls her face away and he lowers his hand. “I apologise that was...”

“Goodbye Knight-Captain” she whispers and walks into the house, he sighs and then smiles. Neither had exchanged harsh words, angry words or even given each other harsh look, he'll count it as a win. He turns smiling and walks away.

…................

Garret, with the new puppy, and Mal enter the house, the mabari walking straight to Yennefer who stands putting away her things from the market. Garrett smiles watching her crouch to greet the hound, a smile on her face. Getting her a hound was a brilliant idea, even just so she could have company when he and the others are away.

“Yen” he states, she stands and looks to him. “I...got you something” he tells her moving closer, she raises an eyebrow at him, Garrett pulls the Avvar snow hound from his robes and Yennefer smiles widely at it. “I mean....when we were kids you used to say you wanted a mabari one day, and well I got one and you didn't........she's no mabari but...”

“She's beautiful” Yennefer takes the puppy from Garrett and lifts it before her face, the puppy's tongue lulls out the side of it's mouth and her tail wags. Yennefer smiles at the puppy and then looks to Garrett. “Thank you” she tells him, he moves closer and kisses her head. “She's perfect” she whispers and touches the pups head.

“You've got to come up with a name now” Garrett tells her, she smiles at him.

“I already have one” Yennefer informs him. “Spirit” the puppy yaps away rather happily, Yennefer chuckles.

“I think she likes it” Garrett offers, Yennefer looks to him. “We're alright, right?” he asks her.

“Of course” she looks down. “I've been a terrible sister” he shakes his head and pulls her closer.

“And I've been a terrible brother....even?” she nods and rests her head on his shoulder.

…................

Garrett and Carver stand leaning in the doorway as Yennefer sleeps more soundly then she has in months, the two brothers share a look and then turn to the snow hound sleeping on the bed with her.

….................

Garrett makes faces at Spirit, the puppy sat on the table watching him as Yennefer pulls on her satchel and moves to him.

“You don't have to come” Garrett tells her.

“You'll be gone for weeks” she tells him taking his hand. “I just....I want to say goodbye....at the gates” he kisses her head and hugs her. “Look after the twins” she begs of him. “Please” he nods and pulls back.

“I will” he promises.

“I just wish I could come with you too”

“I know, but three mages is pushing it.....Carver and Varric have our backs, all right?” she nods. “As long as you look after Mal”

“I promise” she tells him. She kisses the back of his hand. “Come on” she lets go of him and picks up Spirit, whilst whistling for Mal who trots to her side. “Actually, before we go” Yennefer starts. “I was thinking....that whilst...whilst you're away, I might...take a trip” she tells him.”Go away for a few weeks”

“A trip?” he asks, she nods. “Where?” she shrugs and snuggles closer to the wolf.

“I don't know yet...but it's probably safer then me staying here, alone....with the templars about” he nods, sees her point, and understands her fear.

“As long as you are careful” he tells her. “And you take these two with you....” he motions to the two hounds. “Maybe even....Anders? Or Isabela? Take someone with you” she nods and smiles.

“All right” she agrees, he kisses her cheek and pulls her cloak hood up over her head, does the same with himself before they leave, Mal plodding along after them.

….................

Yennefer stands beside Fenris who sighs and looks to Garrett as he approaches, Fenris is about as happy about this as Yennefer.

“A word” Garrett nods for Fenris to move aside, Fenris nods and moves with Garrett as Bethany hugs Yennefer.

“What is it?” Fenris asks.

“Yen's talking about going away, to get out of the city whilst we're gone....I want you to go with her”

“Why me?” Fenris asks.

“Because she's my sister, something I hold entirely dear to me...and you are the only person I trust her safety with” Fenris stares, utterly unbelieving at him, that it's him, he trust most. Fenris nods.

“Of course” Fenris agrees, Garrett nods and touches Fenris' hand, Fenris looks to it, Garrett pulls back and clears his throat.

“Thank you” he whispers and moves back to his sister who hugs him tightly.

…...................

Cullen watches Bartrand's expedition leave, Yennefer stands with Fenris, the her brother likes to keep close at her side, a mabari at her feet, the image of Ferelden, she turns as if sensing him and they share a look, a tiny puppy's head peaking out of her jacket, he smirks and raises an eyebrow, she shrugs back, her lips twitching, she wants to smile, she wants to smile at him, but is denying herself, she looks to Fenris who nods and they both walk away. Cullen sighs sadly watching her go, she glances back at him as he looks away, a longing look on her face, Fenris looks between them and them smirks a little.

........................

Fenris sets a travel pack on the table and crouches to pets Mal who's tail wags at the attention.

“Fenris” Yennefer states behind him, he looks to her and stands. “I need you to promise me something” he frowns at her. “There..” she sighs and looks down at Spirit. “Before we go, there is something I have to tell you” she sits down and Fenris joins her. “It's about this trip....and where we're going and why” he nods, she then tells him the reason, the why, the where and to see who. His eyebrows raise up almost off of his head at it. “But I'm not ready to tell Garrett....so can you....can it just be between us, just for now” he nods dumbly, not quiet sure what to say about that.  "Promise me"

"I promise" he tells her, she takes a breath and nods.

"Good....now that's settled" she stands and grabs her own travel pack. "Shall we get a move on before the sun sets?" he nods and stands.


	14. Return

Fenris glances to Yennefer as they arrive back in Kirkwall, she instantly turns cold and tired as they pass through the gates, Mal and Spirit at their feet. The city really does take it's toll on Yennefer, she takes a deep breath and looks to Fenris, he nods and she smiles tightly at him.

“Yennefer” she stiffens and turns to look at Cullen as he approaches.

“Knight-Captain” she greets, her eyes flickering around for other templars.

“It's just me” Cullen tells her, she doesn't look convinced or relieved. Spirit barks at Yennefer's feet. Fenris touches Yennefer's arm.

“Do you need me to stay?” he asks her, she shakes her head.

“No, I'll be all right” she tells him. “Will you take Mal and Spirit with you?”

“Of course, I'll drop them with your mother”

“Thank you, Fenris” she tells him before he walks away with the two hounds, Yennefer turns back to Cullen. “What do you want, Cullen?” she asks.

“I stopped by your home, your mother said you'd left for a few weeks...”

“I went to visit a friend...” she tells him. “Not that it's any of your business” she starts to walk away, Cullen follows her.

“I know it's not, I just...” he sighs and rubs the back of his neck. “I thought with your brothers and your sister away you might have wanted company”

“I had Fenris” she tells him.

“Are you and he....? Are you together?” Yennefer stops and turns to Cullen who is blushing, damn him to the Fade, why is that still so cute.

“Would it bother you if we are?” she asks him, Cullen looks away and shrugs. Yennefer sighs. “No, we're not...I'm pretty sure he's more interested in Garrett”

“Oh” Cullen breaths, a small, relieved smile on his lips. “Is there anyone?” she crosses her arms over her chest. “Right, it's none of my business”

“How's the promotion?” she asks.

“Tough” he answers. “Things are tense...” she nods, he steps closer to her. “You need to be careful” he tells her softly, she looks up at him. “Please, Yennefer” he pleads.

“I promise” she tells him, he nods and touches her hand, she looks to it, lets him thread his fingers with hers. “Cullen” she warns sadly pulling her hand back. “I have to go” she turns and walks away from him, Cullen sighs and watches her wrap her arms around herself.

….......................

Yennefer unrolls a scroll from Garrett and smiles, he's on his way back and that he has news, she can't tell whether that is good news or bad news yet.

“It must be good if it's got you smiling” Yennefer looks up at Cullen who stands in the doorway next to Leandra who smiles at Yennfer.

“It's from Garrett” she tells them. “He's on his way back, thinks a few days”

“That's great news” Leandra tells her. “We'll have to do something special, lunch out perhaps” Leandra walks away mumbling about plans, Yennefer sighs and looks to Cullen who smiles.

“What are you doing here?” she asks rolling up the scroll and sets it aside.

“You dropped this” he holds up and chain bracelet, Yennefer looks away, embarrassed, ashamed, it's a Chantry bracelet he'd given her for her 18th birthday, he smiles at her now and moves to her.

“I don't know why I still wear it” she whispers, he takes her hand and wraps the bracelet around her wrist. She lifts her eyes to his, Cullen looks to her, touching her forearm.

“Just because you left the Circle, doesn't mean you have to lose your faith” he tells her. “Have you?” she touches her bracelet.

“I don't know.....No” she admits shaking her head slightly. “I haven't....” he offers her a smile, she smiles a little back as Spirit pads into the room, Cullen looks to her.

“Who's this?” he asks.

“Spirit...she was a gift from Garrett...” Yennefer lifts Spirit up onto her knee. “I think he felt bad leaving me behind”

“Not a mabari” Cullen states.

“No, she's an Avvar breed. I don't mind” she admits. “She's....company” Cullen scratches Spirit's head and smiles. Yennefer watches him, some of that boy back, his eyes bright and full of....affection. Yennefer looks down at Spirit.  “You should go” she whispers, Cullen looks to her.

“Jenny” he whispers.

“I can't do this, Cullen, I can't play nice, I can't...pretend that everything is....” he hangs his head.

“I know...” he tells her, he stands. “I know it's hard for you to....to trust me again. To consider...being...friends” she lifts her head to look at him. “Out of everything I am ashamed of doing....hurting you....I regret the most” he turns to leave, Yennefer grabs his hand to stop him, Cullen glances to her, to her face, her eyes filling with tears.

“Goodbye, Cullen” she tells him, he nods and smiles a little.

“Goodbye, Yennefer” she lets go of his hand and he walks away, leaves her alone.

….............

Garrett hugs Yennefer the second he sees her, she smiles and hugs him background

“Where are the twins?” Leandra asks, Yennefer looks to Garrett who looks to them both sadly.

“I'm sorry” he tells them both.

“Gar?” Yennefer asks. Garrett looks to her sadly.

…..............

Yennefer sniffles as she pushes open the Chantry doors and slips inside, she reaches up and brushes the tears from her cheek. Caver and Bethany did not return, nor will they. Both getting struck down with Blight sickness whilst in the Deep Roads. They didn't make it. Yennefer chokes out a sob and moves to the statue of Andraste, she looks up at her and then kneels, pressing her hands together in prayer.

“O Maker, hear my cry” she starts softly. “Guide me through the blackest nights. Steel my heart against the temptations of the wicked. Make me to rest in the warmest places. O Creator, see me kneel: For I walk only where You would bid me. Stand only in places You have blessed. Sing only the words You place in my throat. My Maker, know my heart: Take from me a life of sorrow. Lift me from a world of pain. Judge me worthy of Your endless pride”

“Yennefer?” Cullen asks approaching, she looks to him, her cheeks stained with tears, her eyes wet and red and puffy. “What is it? What's wrong?” she sniffles and looks down, Cullen kneels at her side. “Jenny” he whispers.

“They're dead” she whispers. He frowns at her.

“Who?” he asks.

“The twins”

“What are you talking about?” she wraps an arm around herself and then launches herself at Cullen wrapping her arms around his neck, Cullen looks surprised before hugging her back.

“On the expedition, Bartrand betrayed them and locked them in the Deep Roads....the twins got sick” she tells him. “Blight” Cullen closes his eyes and holds her tighter to him, threading his fingers into her hair. “Every around me dies” she whispers. “I'm a curse”

“No, you're not” she sniffles and presses her head to his chest. “You're not” he promises her. She pulls back and wipes away her tears, Cullen takes her had. “Do you want to finish Transfigurations?” he asks her, she nods. “Do you want me to leave you alone to do it?”

“No” she whispers. “Can you stay?”

“Of course” she sniffles and turns to the statue.

“My Creator, judge me whole: Find me well within Your grace” Yennefer starts. “Touch me with fire that I be cleansed. Tell me I have sung to Your approval” Cullen looks to her softly.

“O Maker, hear my cry: Seat me by Your side in death” he adds. “Make me one within Your glory. And let the world once more see Your favor. For You are the fire at the heart of the world, And comfort is only Yours to give”


	15. Question

READERS

IT IS PROBABLY A WAY OFF. BUT I WANT TO OFFER THE OPTION NOW. 

 

NSFW/SMUT/LEMON WHAT EVER YOU CALL IT....

 

IT WOULD BE CULLEN AND YENNEFER, OBVIOUSLY, IT'LL BE A COUPLE OF TIMES PROBABLY DURING DRAGON AGE 2 AND MORE SO IN INQUISITION. 

 

WOULD THAT BE SOMETHING YOU ALL WANT??

 

 

ALSO WOULD LOVE TO HEAR ON WHAT/WHO/WHERE YENNEFER DISAPPEARED TO. THIS ACTUALLY WON'T BE ANSWERED UNTIL THE END OF DA:2. 


	16. 3 years Later: Act II

**3 years later.**

Yennefer sets her travel pack on the bed to unpack, Garrett stands in the doorway with his arms folded over his chest, she'd been gone longer this time, two months, on one of her 'trips', they'd been getting longer over the last three years, he blames Cullen.

“Why not?” he asks his sister, he's been asking her where she'd been going since she walked into the Hawke Estate. They'd moved up in the world since Garrett's trip to the Deep Roads. Reclaimed their family home. But lost their twin siblings. That had also had a huge effect on Garrett and Yennefer's relationship, she blames him, he knows this, he blames himself too. Garrett looks to Fenris who sets a trunk at the bottom of Yennefer's bed, the elf had been going on Yennefer's trips since the first time Garrett sent him with her, and he won't tell either.

“Because I'm not ready, Garrett” Yennefer answers looking to her brother. “I will tell you.....Just....”

“It's been three years” Garrett argues.

“Leave it” Fenris tells Garrett. “A girl needs her space” Yennefer smirks and nods agreeing.

“You go with her” Garrett tells Fenris.

“You told me to” Fenris argues back as Yennefer pats the bed, a now adult Spirit jumps up and makes herself comfy.

“Garrett, you are my brother” Yennefer tells him. “And I love you.....but drop this, please....” Garrett sighs and throws up his hands leaving the room, Fenris looks to Yenenfer. “Don't start, Fen” she tells him, he shrugs.

“I just think that maybe you should at least tell your mother” he tells her, she opens her trunk and stares at the portrait on the top. “Don't you think she'd want to know”

“Fen” she sighs and looks to him. “This would bring shame on my family” she tells him. “More so now...” He kneels at her side and takes her hand.

“No, it won't, they'd understand” he corrects. She shakes her head and closes the chest, snapping the padlock into place and waving her hand over it, a serious of runes appear across the front of the box.

“I will tell them...one day” she tells him. “When I feel better about it” he nods and touches her shoulder. “Thank you....”

“For what?”

“Being my friend” she answers. “I know mages aren't.....your favourite people” he shrugs and looks down.

“Neither of us have had the best experience of mages, Yen” he tells her, she squeezes his arm and then stands, Spirit stretches out across the bed. Fenris stands too. “Just let me know when you go again” he tells her as he leaves the room. Yennefer sighs and touches the chest before moving to her dressing table.

…..............

Garrett touches Yennefer's shoulder as he sits next to where she's plopped herself in front of the fire with the hounds, a pile of pillows shared between them.

“What are you doing down here?” he asks amused.

“Comfy” Yennefer answers not looking up from her book, Spirit's head in her lap.

“You still mad at me for prying?” he asks.

“That's not why I've been mad at you, Garrett, and you know it” she answers, he sighs and leans against her shoulder.

“It's been three years” he tells her.

“And it still hurts” she responds, he sighs again and kisses her cheek.

“I am sorry” he whispers to her, she lowers her head.

“I know” she whispers back, the mansion door opens and closes followed by heavy footsteps, Aveline steps into the room and looks to the twins.

“You've settled in nicely” she tells them, Garrett looks up at her.

“It's been hard work to get here” he tells her.

“Indeed. Still, more coin never hurts, right?” Garrett raises an eyebrow. “Say, if someone wanted to pass some work your way.....”

“I'm listening, Aveline. What's the trouble?” Garrett asks.

“A thorn in my side inventing trouble and scaring people. Remember Emeric? The templar? He wants your help and some sort of official sanction” Yennefer raises an eyebrow.

“Official sanction? Shouldn't that come from Meredith?” she asks.

“It's for his 'investigations'” Aveline tells her. “He's convinced that every random murder in the past few years is connected and he won't be quiet. Officially not a templar problem” Yennefer nods and goes back to her book.

“Muzzle the geezer” Garrett teases, Yennefer smirks and shakes her head. “Got it”

“I would never say that. But if it leads somewhere genuine. I'll pick it up on your word” Aveline starts to leave, Yennefer rolls her head to look at her.

“If he shuts up, that's good too, right?” she asks, Aveline chuckles and looks to her.

“Perhaps” she answers. “He's in the Gallows. Thanks, Garrett. I appreciate it” she leaves, Yennefer looks to Garrett.

“What?” he asks.

“Helping templars?” she asks. “Bet Justice is loving that” she teases, he snorts and shakes his head.

“Guessing I can't call on your help?” he asks, she shoots him a look. “Of course not” he mumbles and kisses her head before standing and walking away, Yennefer scratches Spirit's head and goes back to her book. 

…...........

“Mistress Hawke?” Yennefer looks to Bodhan, a dwarf Garrett picked up in the Deep Roads, along with his son Sandal, they both moved in when they returned and help around the house.

“Yes, Bodhan” she answers.

“There is a gentleman at the door for you” Yennefer raises an eyebrow. “Says his name is....Cullen”

“Oh” she breath and looks to Spirit who wags her tail. “Let him in” she whispers, not sure if the dwarf caught it until he walks back towards the door, Yennefer takes a breath and brushes her fingers over her dress before standing to greet Cullen who enters looking around her home.

“Wow” he tells her, shifting his eyes to her, he smiles. “Hello” he greets, she smiles a little and nods.

“Hello” she greets back.

“I urm.....I heard you were back and well....” she sighs and crosses her arms over her chest.

“Garrett sent you?” she asks, Cullen blushes and rubs the back of his neck, half to do with being caught out so early and half to do with what her folding her arms across her chest does to it in that dress.

“He...asked me to keep you company” she sighs and shrugs. “So I brought chess” he holds up a board and a bag of pieces. “We used...play back...”

“I remember” she whispers, he nods.

“I can go, if you'd rather be alone” he offers, she bites her lip and then sighs.

“No, it's all right, it's been a while since I played though” she grabs her book from the floor and walks into the study, Cullen follows her and Spirit follows him, Cullen glances to the hound who wags her tail at him. Cullen smiles and looks back to Yennefer as she slides her book onto the bookcase before turning to him as he sets the board up on the coffee table, she sighs and moves to the couch and sits, Cullen takes the armchair next to the sofa.

“Black or white?” he asks her then smirks. “Do I need to ask?” he corrects, she looks to him.

“White” she answers, it's always her answer, he smiles and turns the board so the white pieces are on her side.

“How was your trip?” he asks as she makes the first move.

“Fine” she answers, he raises an eyebrow at her. “Why is everyone so fascinated with where I go, and what I do, and who I see?” he holds up his hand and then makes his move.

“No harm meant” he offers her, watching as she brushes her hair behind her ear to contemplate her next move. He's missed this, just playing chess with someone who he knows will challenge him. He smiles watching her move a piece, her eyes flickering to his.


	17. Javaris Tintop

Cullen laughs as Yennefer smiles, she'd just finish telling him a story of when Garrett was a child and he used to think the Maker was the Baker. She bites her lip and looks away from Cullen, he reaches over and takes her hand, she snaps her head around.

“Sorry” he pulls his hand back, she watches it before she grabs it, he looks to her. “Yennefer?” he asks quietly, she raises her eyes to his. Longing, affection, hesitation and love all stare at him, and he's not sure what to do with it, because he knows she has no idea either what to do with those feelings. He swaps her hold on his hand, threads his fingers with hers, watching her reaction, when she seems to accept it, he brushes his thumb over the back of her hand and then makes his chess move. She stares at their hands.

“Cullen” she whispers, he looks to her. “I...”

“It's all right” he tells her. “Let's just play chess” she nods and looks to the chess board.

“Do you want something to drink?” Yennefer asks. “Or to eat?” she stands. “I could get us something to drink” she starts to leave, Cullen stands and grabs her wrist, she turns to him.

“Yennefer” he whispers. “Relax” he tells her reaching up for her face, he pauses and waits before brushing his fingers over her cheek, she lets out a heavy breath, he steps closer to her. “Jenny” he whispers, full of longing, he's missed her, being this close to her, she raises her free hand and touches his chest, he waits for her to push him away, but she doesn't, she looks up at him, a small frown on her perfect face. He cups her cheek and then leans closer, he's going to kiss her, he wants to kiss her, he misses it. He brushes his nose against hers and she closes her eyes, she wants this too. Almost there, she can feel his breath on her, just a hair between them. His lips ghost over hers and then the front door slams shut.

“Yen!” Garrett shouts entering the mansion, Cullen and Yennefer break apart from one another, Cullen rubs the back of his neck as Yennefer touches her chest, her fingers over her heart. Garrett walks into the study. “There you are” he looks between them both. “Knight-Captain?” he asks. “Still here?”

“I urm....I was just going” Cullen offers looking to Yennefer, he turns to leave.

“Cullen” Yennefer states, he looks to her. “Your chess set” she reminds.

“You keep it, for now.....get some practice in” he tells her before leaving, Garrett frowns looking the way Cullen left before looking to his sister.

“All right, do I even want to know?” Yennefer sighs and rubs her arm.

“He was the templars” she tells him. “Back in the circle” Garrett's eyebrows raise higher.

“Cullen?” he asks, then chuckles. “Fancy both of you ending up in Kirkwall” he teases.

“You were looking for me?”

“Oh, right....I need you to come to the compound with me...” she sighs. “What? You and Fenris know the customs better then me”

“Fine” she breaths and starts to leave the room. “I'll get changed”

“Thank you” Garrett shouts after her.

…..................

Yennefer, Garrett, Varric and Fenris approach the Arishok, he glances to Yennefer and then to Garrett.

“Serah Hawke” he greets.

“Messere?” Garrett asks back.

“Last we met, I did not know your name. Did not care to. You have changed your fortune over the years. The qunari have not. I offer a courtesy, Hawke. Someone has stolen what he thinks is the formula for gaatlok. You will want to hunt him” The Arishok tells them.

“I got next to nothing from our last deal. Solve your own problem” Garrett tells him turning away, Yennefer looks to Garrett.

“Wait” she tells him and then looks to the Arishok. “What formula _did_ he get?” she asks. The Arishok raises an eyebrow impressed. “If not the gaatlok one?”

“Saar-gamek” he answers. “A poison gas” Garrett turns back. “Not explosives. A small amount is dangerous enough to your kind, but if made in quantity, perhaps by someone intended to sell it”

“That merchant. Javaris?” Yennefer asks.

“Would he be cautious enough or would he assume success and make enough to threaten a district? A courtesy, Hawke. You will want to hunt him” Yennefer looks to Garrett who turns to Varric.

“Any idea where we can find Javaris?”

“I heard about a sell-off. Merchant territories and such. They didn't do that unless someone left in a hurry. I'd have figured he crooked some noble. He's sure not a burglar”

“Just tell me where he is” Garrett demands.

“I haven't kept up on the squirt. Ask the Coterie” Varric answers.

“Panahedon, Hawke. It will be interesting to see if you die” the Arishok tells them, Garrett looks to him and nods before they leave, Garrett takes Yennefer's hand and squeezes in thanks.

…..........

Garrett approaches the Coterie agent selling off Jaravis' goods, she looks over each of them.

“You're selling the assets of Javaris Tintop?” Garrett asks her.

“We are. Limited districts, limited contracts. Keeps territories clear and separate from the start. He had a meager lot, but he's skipped with dues outstanding, so up it goes”

“I need to find Javaris now” Garrett snaps. “Where's he hiding?”

“Scary. Anyone else, I'd jump to their defence. Unless they owed me like he does. Javaris left in a hurry. I'd put him at Smuggler's Cut. If he's avoiding patrols”

“It empties at a cave outside of town” Yennefer tells Garrett who nods, they turn to leave.

“Tell him I said: Don't come back” the Coterie woman shouts at them.

“Javaris doesn't exactly sound like a mastermind at work here” Yennefer states, Fenris grumbles agreeing with her.

…............

Yennefer flicks blood from her coat tails and shoots a look at Garrett who shrugs strapping his staff to his back. Mercenaries. They'd had to fight through tunnels and tunnels of mercenaries. Garrett points ahead at Javaris and the small group head towards him. Javaris cringes and shields himself away from them.

“Calm yourself, Javaris” Yennefer tells him.

“You're not dead yet” Garrett adds. Javaris looks to them, settling on Garrett.

“You? Granny's garter, she would hire you” Yennefer and Garrett share a look as Varric and Fenris do. “I can't buy a break on discount. You know what! Go ahead! Take my head and pike it back to that sodding elf! I need the rest”

“What in blazes are you talking about?” Garrett asks.

“What elf?” Yennefer adds.

“You don't know?” Javaris asks looking between the two of them. “Then, what, you're tracking for the qunari? Then she did it, that elf got them after me for nothing! Bitch-born!”

“The obvious thief was perhaps a bit too obvious” Yennefer tells Garrett who hums in agreement.

“Look, I'm minding business, same old, and out of the blue some elf tries to kill me. Says she's got the qunari powder and I'm her cover. I slipped her, hired some bodyguards, and ran for it. And now you're here great”

“So far all we see is you” Garrett tells Jaravris.

“Leaving the other person behind is the first step in running away. Sorry if that's inconvenient” Garrett looks to Yennefer, who's necklace glows, her crow pops into appearance and flies towards Javaris threateningly, he screams and the bird veers left, missing him. “Here, you want to drag dark into light, I had a man follow her” Javaris admits, the crow pops out of appearance, Yennefer's necklace stops glowing. “The elf's in Lowtown. I just want to get out. With my dead guards. Thanks for that”

“Better luck wherever you're bound, Javaris. The farther the better” Garrett tells him.

“Right, got me a rosy future to plan out. Think i'll start by selling some boots” he turns and crouches to his chest behind him, Garrett, Fenris and Varric walk away. “Sodding bunch of.....take a long breath on a short shaft you.....blasted dog-lord in-roaders” Yennefer bites her lip and pulls her coin purse from her hip, she throws it over Javaris and lands in his chest, he jumps, looks to it and then turns around, Yennefer is walking towards the others. 


	18. Saar-qamek

Reaching an alley in Lowtown Yennefer moves straight to the civilian coughing and spluttering, propped up against the wall, she crouches and lifts his head as Garrett moves towards the city guard.

“All of you, I can't fight the damned air. You want to live, stay out”

“Is there something I can do?” Garrett asks him as Yennefer 's hand glows blue, she waves it over the civilian who calms, his coughing subsides and she stands.

“Wait. Messere Hawke” the city guard tries to stop Garrett. “Mistress Hawke” he looks to Yennefer. “Maker, please, the street is death” Yennefer and Garrett share a look. “There was a cloud that drove people mad, and now a seeping mist that kills. All I can do is warn people. If someone like you died on my watch, I'd be right stuffed”

“Tend the herd, boy, we're going in” Garrett pushes the guard out of the way, Yennefer sighs and touches the city guards arm.

“We'll be all right” she tells him softly, he looks to her, almost as hypnotized, he nods and steps back. Garrett raises an eyebrow at his sister who shrugs. “Men are suggestive” she tells him with a smirk. “Especially when confronted with a beautiful woman” they turn into the square and pause, looking to where the area is covered in a thick green mist.

“Maker's breath” Garrett mumbles, Yennefer slips a pair of daggers from under her tail coats, Garrett looks to them. “What are you going to do with them?” she looks to him.

“Tell me this doesn't smell like a trap” she spins them in her hands as Garrett nods removing his staff from his back, Varric pulls Bianca free, Fenris his sword, they head into the mist. And immediately start coughing.

“We won't last long in this” Fenris tells them, Yennefer holds up her hand and then yanks it down, a dome shield erupts around them, filtering out the mist. The three men look to her, she shrugs.

“Over there, do you see it?” Varric states pointing to a steel latch.

“One of us has to make a run for it” Yennefer tells them. “Shield doesn't move” they share a look. Garrett sighs.

“Me” he states setting his staff back onto his back and then takes a deep breath before running for the latch. He turns it and then runs back, sucking in the clean air. “All right what did that do?” Yennefer points to a barrel who's lid's popped.

“There's another one over there” Fenris adds pointing the other way. “And there” Fenris nods to another.

“One at a time” Garrett offers.

“Take it in turns” Varric agrees, Yennefer nods.

“I'll go first” she tells them.

“Sure?” Fenris asks her, she nods.

“Yes” she nods and takes a breath and then bolts towards the barrel, she pushes down on the top of it and then they descend, she shoots Garrett an 'I told you so' look and then runs back to the shield. Varric is already shooting crossbow bolts and Garrett is spinning his staff, Fenris moves. “Stay in the shield!” Yennefer snaps pulling Fenris back into the shield, he coughs into his arm. She shoots him a look and he waves her off.

…...............

Varric closes the last barrel and looks around at all the dead mercenaries

“That's it” he tells them, Yennefer yanks down her shield and they test the air, each nodding, relieved. An elf and two mercenary bodyguards move to stand on the landing above them. Garrett looks to her.

“Easy. I'm just trying to fond out what happened” he tells the elf, she looks to him.

“Is that? Serah Hawke? You have enemies. I'm glad it's you, really. These poor people. You are a much better target”

“Explain yourself” Garrett demands. “Now”

“Qunari take my people. My siblings forget their culture, then go to the Qun for purpose. We're loosing them twice. So I get some help from your people. We'll take the qunari thunder, make some accidents, and make them hated. But this....” she looks around. “This is all wrong”

“Only one thing to do with a mad dog” Garrett snarls, Yennefer looks to him and then to the elf.

“It can still work. They are hidden in your city. They'll enrage the faithful and make sure the qunari are blamed. Me. I'm finished. I just need a few more bodies” Yennefer snaps out her blades, Fenri's hand moves to the hilt of his sword. Both sensing what is coming. “A few more”

…...................

Cullen is waiting outside the Hawke estate when Garrett and Yennefer return, Garrett shoots her a smirk and then he head towards the Gallows. Cullen moves to Yennefer.

“Cullen” she greets.

“I heard you were down at the Compound” he tells her. She raises an eyebrow at him.

“You seem to always know where I have been” she tells him, he rubs the back of his neck.

“I..” He stumbles over his words.

“It was a tease, Cullen” she tells him touching his arm, he looks to her hand and places his other over it.

“You should be careful around the qunari, Jenny” he tells her softly.

“I know” she tells him. “Things are.....” she sighs and looks up at him. “Uneasy” he nods and takes her hand from his arm to hold it instead.

“As long as you are careful” he tells her, worried, it's not just the Qunari, it's the templars, Meredith, it's all....growing tense. Cullen sighs and touches Yennefer's cheek.

“Do you want to come in?” she asks.

“I have to get back to the Gallows” he answers. “Perhaps later?” he asks. “After....” she nods and smiles.

“I would like that” she whispers, as if afraid of admitting it, he smiles and nods, touching her hand gently, pulls her closer.

“I've missed you” he tells her, she touches his chest plate, her finger tracing the templar emblem there. He must have come straight from the Gallows to check on her, she smiles a little and looks up at him. “I'll call on you later” he promises stepping back, raises her hand to his lips and kisses the back of it before leaving, Yennefer sighs and then shakes her head.

“What are you doing?” she scolds herself heading into the Hawke estate.


	19. Mother Petrice

Yennefer holds out a spoon to Cullen, who takes it as Leandra set two glasses filled with sorbet in front of Yennefer and Cullen, the Hawke matriarch had convinced the templar to stay for dinner. Leandra's decided she likes him, that this is the first time in years she's seen Yennefer smile like that, that carefree and it's because of him.

“I'll leave you two to it” Leandra tells them with a smile. “I'm going to read for a while” she turns and leaves, Cullen and Yennefer watch her go before Cullen smirks.

“I think she's trying to....”

“Yeah” Yennefer agrees, Cullen looks to her as she pushes the sorbet around the glass.

“Is all hope gone?” he whispers, she sighs and looks to him.

“I don't know” she admits. “So much has....” she looks to her food. “Changed” she finishes. “We're not the same people we were back then”

“No, we're not” he agrees. “We've both made mistakes, we've both seen things, done things.....we've.....grown” she looks to him. “We were children” he tells her. “If there is...no hope for....something, for anything, tell me now...”

“Will it change things?” she asks. “Is that the only reason...you come around? Why you talk to me?”

“No” he is quick to tell her. “No. You are my friend first, you will always be my friend...that's not going to change. I just want to know” she nods and looks away, a friend would put him out of his misery, persuade him to move on, find love in a nice Free Marcher girl, a non mage girl, someone he wouldn't be ashamed to admit he's in love with, she sighs and closes her eyes, takes a deep breath.

“No” she tells him, he looks to her. “There is no hope” she pokes at her food, Cullen smirks and leans closer to her.

“You're a terrible liar” he tells her fondly, taking her hand under the table. “Always were” she turns back to him. “It's nice that some things never change” he tells her pulling away, she smiles and looks down, he keep a hold of her hand.

…..................

“How's Wilmod?” Yennefer asks sitting across from Cullen in the study, the chess set between them.

“Recovering still” he answers moving his pawn. “He's jumpy around mages so they've got him on simple duties....but, he's getting there” he looks to her. “I've never seen anything like that before” he admits. “Where did you learn to do that?” she shrugs and touches her necklace.

“Just something I picked up” she answers moving her own pawn. “I've learnt a few things since....” he smiles at her and takes her hand, she looks to it.

“You were always gifted, Yennefer” he tells her. “It's not surprising that without the limitations the circle put on you that you excelled” she smirks and then laughs.

“I can't believe a templar just told me that” he laughs himself and leans back keeping hold of her hand.

“If Uldred didn't break you” he tells her softly. “I doubt there is a anything out there that could” she lifts her eyes to his. “And I know you, I know you would never....abuse your magic...for power” he squeezes her hand. “I know you” he whispers,

“Yen” Garrett shouts interrupting, yet again, she sighs and looks to Cullen. Cullen smirks and kisses her hand before standing.

“I should be getting back anyway” he tells her softly as Garrett walks into the room. “Thank you” he tells her, she offers him a smile.

“Knight-Captain” Garrett greets, Cullen nods to him as he passes. “Yenny....” Yennefer untucks her legs from under her and stands.

“Let me get changed” she tells him, he smiles and takes her hand.

“Thank you” he whispers warmly, she nudges him softly. “You know....” he starts gently. “If he makes you happy” he tells her, Yennefer sighs.

“There's...history there, Garrett....deep, hurtful history, and he's a templar”

“So what?” Garrett tells her.

“Well....I'm an apostate” she reminds him. “So are you” he shrugs. “Gar”

“Look....The way he looks at you, what ever history that's there.....he still cares for you” Yennefer shrugs and walks away, Garrett rolls his eyes. “Stubborn”

“She's a Hawke” Leandra tells him walking past, Garrett smirks.

“We're not all stubborn” Leandra shoots him a disbelieving look as she smirks. “What?” Garrett asks. “We're not” he argues, she chuckles and disappears into the kitchen.

…....................

Yennefer walks beside Garrett as they enter the Chantry, Fenris and Varric behind them, Yennefer sighs.

“So, a drunk says the Grand Cleric funded zealots” Yennefer states looking to Garrett. “Through a rogue templar. This is enough evidence for you?” she asks.

“I want answers about the missing Qunari, Yen, I will follow anything given to me” she shrugs.

“Hey, it's not like the templars are going to like me no matter what I do” she tells him, he wraps an arm around her shoulders and pulls her closer as they approach a Chantry sister.

“The Grand Cleric, please, tell her.....just tell her to get out here” Garrett tells her, she looks to them and then scurries away.

“I have a bad feeling about this” Fenris tells them, Yennefer hums in agreement.

“You two have bad feelings about everything” Garrett tells them.

“To be fair, how often are they right?” Varric asks, Garrett looks to him.

“Fair enough” Garrett mumbles.

“Serah Hawke” someone ahead of them greets, the small group look to her.

“Sister Petrice?” Garret asks as Yennefer raises an eyebrow.

“Mother Petrice” Petrice corrects. “Times have changed us both. Grand Cleric Elthina cannot grant an audience to just anyone. What do you want?”

“A qunari delogate has disappeared. She may have ordered it” Garrett answers her.

“That is quite the accusation. Ridiculous of course. She leads a great many people, but not as a commander”

“A templar used her seal to convince the act was righteous” Patrice days nothing, Yennefer raises an eyebrow at her.

“A pause says you knew” Yennefer points out. “But does Her Grace?” she asks.

“The grand cleric trusts her stewards to enact the wishes of the Maker”

“It sounds like you've been bad” Garrett teases. “This will shock Her Grace, no doubt”

“Stubborn...” Petrice mumbles. “All right, Serah Hawke, if you won't abandon this. Let me offer you something” she moves towards them. “The templar you seek is a radical who has grown....unreliable. Confronting him may do us all a favour”

“And you know this how?” Fenris asks.

“His is my former bodyguard, Ser Varnell” they all give her a look. “Assume what you wish, but I offer him to you as....reconciliation. Meet me at this location” she hands over a slip of parchment to Garrett. “I invite you, Serah Hawke. Come see the unrest the qunari have inspired” she turns and walks away, Yennefer crosses her arms over her chest and looks to Garrett he sighs as Varric clears his throat.

“That's a set up”

“It's her game” Garrett tells them. “For the moment. Come on” he turns and leaves, the others follow.


	20. Varnell

Fenris hold open the door to the entrance of Varnell's refuge, Yennefer slides past him and smiles in thanks.

“Nice place for a rally” she teases as they head inside, Garrett smirks.

“Good choice, Varnell” Garrett adds, she chuckles.

“Patrice is here, somewhere” Fenris reminds them.

“I have...” Yennefer starts.

“A bad feeling?” Varric teases, Yennefer shoots him an unamused look as they head through the refuge.

“I'm sure it's nothing but rabble” Garrett tells her.

“Hear that?” Fenris states as they round the corner.

“There” Varric points out as they approach the crowd, Varnell stood at the forefront and in front of a bound Qunari.

“Like any beast, remove the fangs and it is lost” Varnell tells the crowd. “They are weak before the faithful of the Maker. The only certainty in their Qun is death before the righteous” Mother Petrice passes the Hawkes, Fenris and Varric.

“Uh-oh” Varric mumbles. “Seems Lilac was right”

“Ser Varnell!” Patrice shouts catching the templar's attention.

“Take a knee, faithful. The Chantry blesses us”

“You claim a blessing when you have used the authority of the Grand Cleric so openly? You have brought wrath down upon you. You remember Serah Hawke” Petrice walks behind Garrett who glances to her over his shoulder. “The qunari have friends, templar. How will you answer their allegations?” she asks. Garrett looks to Yennefer, then to Fenris and Varric before he turns to Varnell.

“You want a fight! Face someone whose weapons are not bound” he tells him.

“Templars are cowards” Yennefer adds moving to Garrett's side. “They only pick on those whose lives they already hold in their hands” Varnell looks to her and then turns, slits the throat of the qunari and then looks back to Yennefer.

“Righteous! Destroy them!” he orders, Petrice runs away like a coward. Yennefer pulls her daggers from the back of her jacket and spins them in hand, Garrett looks to her and she nods, he pulls his staff from his back.

...................

Yennefer pulls her dagger from a Righteous and throws out her hand at another sending at telekentic burst at him, he flies backward.

“Apostate, bitch” Varnell snarls and thrusts his sword at Yennefer who blocks it with her dagger and throws out her other hand, he stumbles backwards and the swings again, she rolls out of the way, but he catches her shoulder, she cries out and drops her dagger, before clutching her arm. He approaches her, sword ready, she backs away, pushing herself across the ground till she's backed against a pillar. Her necklace glows and there is a bird cry, a crow, it flies around before picking up speed and flying right into Varnell's eye, pushing itself through his skull before it flies out the other side, Varnell drops to his knees and then to his side, dead. She stares at him and then looks to the bird which vanishes.

“Yen!” Garrett yells running towards her, he looks to Varnell and then to her. “You all right?” he asks helping her to her feet, she nods and cradles her arm. “Fenris” Garrett states looking to the elf. “Will you take her home?” Fenris nods sliding his sword away and moving to his friend.

….......................

Fenris looks to Yennefer as she pulls a bandage from a draw on her table, she cringes and grabs her arm.

“Do you want me to help?” Fenris asks, she shakes her head.

“I've got it” she answers grabbing a potion bottle from her collection, Fenris sighs and then leaves, she might not take help from him, but he knows someone she will take help off of.

…........................

“I killed a templar today” Yennefer tells Cullen, he looks from her shoulder to her face, she stares at the wall in front of her.

“Ser Varnell” he tells her. “I know” she turns her head to him.

“I had no choice” she whispers.

“I know” he brushes her hair back and cups her neck, Fenris had explained everything. He goes back to treating her shoulder, she cringes and looks away. “Sorry” he whispers. “I'd...been watching him for a while actually” he tells her. “He'd lost his path”

“That does not mean he deserved to die” she argues pulling away from him, she cups her shoulder as she stands.

“No, you're right” he agrees, she looks to him. “He deserved to die because he dared to hurt you” she sighs and shakes her head.

“Sounds like you are loosing your path, Knight-Captain” she tells him.

“Why? Because....”

“Because you just told me a templar deserved to die, because he attacked a mage” she tell him. “I thought templars actively condone that” he shoots her a look, she smiles back at him and he knows she's teasing him.

“Perhaps I am loosing my path as well then” he admits. “Let me finish binding your shoulder” he tells her, she sighs and moves back towards him, he pulls her down gently and pulls her hand from her shoulder. “It's not deep” he tells her, she looks to him.

“Once my mana's returned, I'll heal it” she tells him.

“This is what I was talking about. You getting yourself into trouble” he teases softly, she looks down. “Getting hurt” he wraps a bandage around her shoulder. “What am I going to do with you, huh?” he asks, she looks to him, he lifts his eyes to hers, those gold speckled eyes that...draw her in.

“Cullen” she whispers and looks away, he kisses her cheek and finishes her shoulder before standing.

“Try to be more careful” he scolds lightly as she pulls the sleeve of her tunic over her shoulder. Cullen grabs his cloak and pulls it on, he sighs and turns to Yennefer. “You know this is going to make the Arishok...”

“I know” she agrees looking to him. “Something is coming, Cullen....I can feel it” he nods agreeing, something is going to give. He leans down and kisses her cheek.

“I will check in on you tomorrow” he tells her, she smiles a little and nods.

“Tomorrow, then” she whispers, he strokes her cheek and then leaves, she sighs and looks to her shoulder. “Thank you”

“Are you all right, sweetheart?” Leandra asks entering the room and setting a tray of tea on the table, Yennefer nods and offers a smile.

“I think I am” she admits as Leandra pours out two cups, and glances to her daughter.

“Did Cullen not want to stay for tea?” she asks, Yennefer smiles softly.

“He probably had to get back to the Gallows” she answers pulling her legs under her. Leandra hands over a cup of tea and then sits next to Yennefer with her own.

“He's....a kind man” Leandra tells her. “You could do worse”

“He's a templar, mother” Yennefer reminds her. “It would never work, no matter how much you may want it to” Leandra looks to her sadly and squeezes her knee.

“Oh, Sweetheart”

“It's all right, mother” Yennefer tells her. “I'm content”

…..........


	21. Jennifer

Cullen pushes open the door to the mansion in Hightown, why Garrett had invited him is beyond him.

“You made it” Garrett pats Cullen's shoulder as he passes. “And just in time to, we're about to start” Cullen looks uncomfortable as he follows Garrett, they'd been rumours about this house in Hightown, and then to learn that Fenris had moves into it, sort of explained things, though not completely. Garrett leads Cullen into one of the side rooms, the fire raging, and in the centre a huge table surrounded by chairs, Varric is already sat with Isabela who winks across at Cullen, he blushes and looks away.

“Lilac, come on!”

“Maker's balls, Varric, give me a minute” Yennefer scolds in the next room. “Fenris, you're my friend and I love you but you need to tidy up” she mumbles walking back in. “I tripped over another corpse....” Cullen raises an eyebrow at the elf who shrugs back. “Oh” Yennefer states seeing Cullen. “Cullen” she whispers, he smiles and waves a little.

“Garrett invited me...” he tells her as Anders appears at her shoulder.

“Great, we're inviting templars now” he grumbles.

“Anders” she scolds softly, he pinches her backside. “Hey!” she scolds, he chuckles and heads to the table, Yennefer rolls her eyes and then looks to the doorway. “What is she doing here?” Yennefer growls as Merrill walks in.

“I invited her” Garrett tells his sister.

“Why?” Yennefer asks, honestly confused.

“Because we never involve her in anything” Garrett argues. Yennefer shoots him a look. “I didn't tell you because I knew you wouldn't come”

“Andraste's flaming knicker weasels, of course I wouldn't.....” Yennefer snaps. “Making my skin crawl being in the same room as it” she turns and walks out, Garrett sighs and rubs his head. Cullen raises an eyebrow and looks to Merrill who shifts nervously.

“Cullen, can you...” Garrett motions after his sister. “She'll listen to you”

“Your sister has never listened to me” Cullen argues but does go after Yennefer.

…............

Yennefer sits on one of the bed with a bottle of wine in her lap, Cullen sits across from her.

“So....I thought you liked elves?” he asks, she frowns and looks to him.

“What?” she asks back.

“The young....girl”

“Oh...oh no, it's not because she's an elf” she tells him. “She's an apostate,” she admits. “I just don't like her area of.....practice” he nods and watches as she guzzles from the bottle.

“Maybe you shouldn't....drink that much” she looks to him and then the bottle.

“Why not?” she asks, he takes the bottle from her and sets it aside.

“How's your shoulder?” he asks softly, she looks to her shoulder.

“It's fine...me and Anders, we healed it earlier” she touches her shoulder. “There's a small scar but....I'll live” she looks to him. “Thank you, for patching me up” he smiles back at her.

“You're welcome” he tells her back. “You want to go back downstairs? Play some cards?” she nods and slides off the bed, he follows her, she reaches back and takes his hand, he smiles like a dork.

…......................

“In the boozer, you’re a loser” Yennefer and Garrett sing as they and Cullen walk through Hightown. Cullen smirks amused, it's an old Ferelden tavern song, that to be fair he hasn't heard in years, not since he'd come to Kirkwall. “If the dice you’re shaking. You’ll get hurt and lose your shirt, sit there cold and quaking” Yennefer smiles and looks to Cullen who smirks. “Lady Luck, your gifts are bad, you trick us, then you make us mad, make us gamble, make us fight, and sit out in the cold all night” Yennefer takes Cullen's hand, he chuckles and pulls her closer. “‘Brrr!’ The naked loser moans, when he’s cold and left alone, shakes and shivers as he groans: ‘I wish I could be asleep under a tree, With a hot sunshine warming my bones.’ But now let’s roll the dice again and win some drinking money! Who thinks about Umbralis' rain while it’s still warm and sunny?” Cullen grabs Yennefer's waist as she stumbles laughing, Garrett laughs leaning against the nearest wall, they'd all had maybe a little bit too much to drink, all but Cullen. Yennefer leans back against Cullen and looks up at him, he smiles down at her, loving this side of her, she's not so tense and it's taken years off of her, she looks just like she did when they'd fist met in the Circle.

“Hello” she tells him, he chuckles and pokes her nose.

“Hello” he tells her back and walks forward with her, he looks to Garrett who leans against his staff almost asleep. He should have taken the elf's offer of help. Yennefer stumbles again and Cullen sighs and lifts her up, she makes a noise of surprise and wraps her arm around his neck as Garrett follows them, Yennefer presses her head to Cullen's neck.

“Do you remember” she starts. “When we first met?” she asks, he looks to her. “And you got my name wrong?”

“I remember” he tells her.

“Jennifer” she states, he smiles. “It was endearing” she tells him. “I didn't have the heart to correct you”

“I know” he tells her.

“And then it became our thing” she whispers. “You would call me Jenny” he looks to her as they reach the Hawke estate. “I'm sorry” she whispers.

“What for?” he asks as Garrett opens the door.

“For telling you not to” he carries her into the mansion and to the couch in the entrance hall, sets her down gently, Garrett stumbles on the stairs.

“I'm fine!!” he shouts. “I'm fine” he pushes himself up and heads up the stairs. Cullen looks to Yennefer who is smirking.

“You can call me Jenny again, if you want to” she whispers to him. He smiles at her.

“Jenny” he tells her, she smiles back at him and then looks down.

“Do you think that if you weren't a templar...and I weren't a mage things would be different?” she asks softly, Cullen lifts her chin.

“I think...it doesn't matter that you are a mage, Jenny” he tells her and kisses her cheek. “It's never mattered to me” he strokes her other cheek and helps her lay down, she sighs softly and lets him pull a blanket over her. “Goodnight, Jenny”

“Night, Cullen” she whispers, he brushes her hair back and kisses her forehead before leaving her to sleep it off.


	22. Emeric

"Are you sure?" Garrett asks Yennefer as she pulls on her jacket and does up the buttons. "We're going to the Gallows...."

"I know" she tells him. He raises an eyebrow at her. "If you don't want me to come with you"

"No, I do, I just....it's been four years, and you've not once stepped foot in the Gallows...." she shrugs back and tugs on her gloves. "All right, if you are sure?" he mumbles waiting for her to finish.

.......................

Cullen looks up and across the Gallows as he feels her, it's just something he's always been able to do, Yennefer stands next to her brother, apostates right under the templar noses. She glances straight at him, he raises a hand to wave at her and she smiles. They approach an older templar, Emeric who turns to them.

"Hello, Emeric" Garrett greets the older templar. "Aveline says you need out help again?"

"I've spent the past few years continuing my investigation into the murders of Ninette, Mharen and the other women. I believe I finally have a suspect, a man called Gascard DuPuis" Emeric tells them.

"If you know he's guilty. Why don't you do something about it?" Yennefer asks.

"Ah, and here we get to the crux of the matter. I cannot lay a finger on DuPuis. When I became convinced of his guilt I went to the city guard and demanded they do something. They guards raided the mansion and found nothing. They were forced to apologise and I was reprimanded. Meredith forbade me from continuing my investigation. But she did not say I couldn't seek outside help"

"Oooo loophole" Yennefer teases.

"No one else believes you. Why should we?" Garrett asks, Yennefer slaps his chest, he grunts.

"Because you saw the sack of bones" she answers for Emeric. "You found Ninette's hand"

"Tell me there's nothing to this" Emeric adds. "What is one of the women who died was someone you loved?" Emeric motions to Yennefer. "Your sister?" Garrett looks to her, she looks up at him. "If Gascard DuPuis is guilty, he must be stopped before he kills again, we have to try" Emeric tells them.

"Why is it always Garrett to the rescue?" Garrett asks Yennefer.

"I can't really answer that" Yennefer answers teasing, Garrett pulls a face back at her.

"You'll need to go to Gascard DuPuis' estate after nightfall" Emeric tells them. "Please figure out what DuPuis is hiding. If he's innocent find evidence to prove me wrong. It's just that simple" Emeric turns and walks away.

"Templars" Garrett teases. "So weird!" he turns and walks away.

"Shoot that louder, Gar, I don't think Meredith heard you" Yennefer scolds lightly following him, Garrett laughs, Yennefer glances to Cullen and smiles, he smiles back at her.

..................

Fenris, Garrett, Yennefer and Varric finally make it to the last room in the DuPuis estate, Yennefer flicks blood off her blades as Garrett enters, the others follow behind him. Across the room a young girl is on her knees, stood over her is Gascard DuPuis, she sees them.

"Help me! Please! He's gone mad!" she begs. Gascard turns to them.

"You're not....you're not him. Shit. I......know what this looks like, but I didn't hurt her"

"Do you take us for fools?" Garrett asks.

"No, I didn't mean.....I don't know why you're here, but there's a killer out there, and I think he's playing us both. Just let me explain" Garrett looks to the other before looking back to Gascard.

"If I hear anything I don't like, you're dead"

"Several years ago, my sister was murdered. The bastard's now in Kirkwall, killing again. The same way he killed my sister" He starts to pace. "It starts with a bouquet of flowers. He sends them to each new victim. Alessa was going to be next" he motions to the girl. "I took her so he'd have to come to me. I was finally going to face my sister's killed, but then you showed up"

"He's lying, he hurt me" Alessa tells them.

"I've explained this" Gascard crouches in front of Alessa. "I needed your blood to track you down if he took you. It was your protection"

"Let go of me!" she screams and runs away.

"She'll go straight to the city guard. They'll ruin everything" Gascard complains, Garrett looks to Yennefer, he nods, she slides her dagger from the back of her jacket and slits Gascard's throat, he gurgles as he goes down, she looks down emotionless before walking away.

.............

The group return to the Gallows for Emeric. He's not there. But Moira is, she looks to them.

"Aren't you, Hawke?" she asks. "Emeric left not long ago. He said you'd arranged to meet tonight"

"There was no such arrangement"

"But you sent him a message. I still have it with me" Moira hands over the note, Garret reads the note.

"I didn't send this" he tells her.

"You didn't, strange"

"That's not a good sign" Varric mumbles. Yennefer looks down, thinking, her mind just rolling.

"Well, I don't know" Moira tells them. "Emeric's been acting strangely for months. It's probably a misunderstanding" she tells him, Yennefer turns and runs off, Garrett frowns and looks to her as Cullen does from his post.

"Yen!" he shouts, she turns and walks backwards, raises an eyebrow at him. "Oooohhhhh it's a trap" he and the others follow after her.

........................

Emeric was dead and surrounded by demons. They'd easily dispatched them and then returned home. Yennefer pulls over her jacket and sighs closing her eyes.

"Jenny" Cullen states.

"Maker's breath!" she screams clutching her chest.

"Sorry" Cullen offers from the couch, he's smirking though. "Your mother let me in" he tells her. "I heard about Emeric" she folds her jacket over a chair and moves to sit at his side. He takes her hand and rubs a soothing circle into the back of it. She leans against his arm and closes her eyes, a comfortable silence falling over the two of them.


	23. Mother

**Weeks later:**

Yennefer yawns as she heads down the stairs of estate pulling her robe around her waist.

“Enchantment!” Sandal states, Gamlen sighs.

“No, Leandra! Lee. Ann. Drah!” Gamles corrects, Yennefer frowns.

“What's wrong, Uncle?” she asks, he looks to her.

“There you are. Where's your mother? Is she feeling all right?” He asks her, Yennefer frowns at him.

“I'm sure she's all right. Why are you so upset?” she asks him.

“Your mother didn't show up for our weekly visit. Is she ill? She is here, isn't she?” he asks her. Bodhan and Yennefer share a look.

“No, Gamlen” Bodahn answers. “We haven't seen her all day”

“Where could she be?” Gamlen asks.

“With her suitor, perhaps?” Bodahn offers, Yennefer frowns at him as does Gamlen.

“Suitor?” Yennefer asks.

“Leandra never mentioned a suitor” Gamlen adds.

“Well, those lillies arrived for her this morning” Bodahn tells them.

“White lillies” Yennefer whispers looking to the lillies. “I know something about that”

“Don't just leave me waiting” Gamlen tells her. “What is it?” Yennefer sighs and looks to him.

“There's a killer in Kirkwall” she tells him. “Who sends white lillies before taking them. He's murdered several women already” Gamlen shakes his head at her.

“No. You're wrong. Leandra is fine” he argues, Yennefer touches his arm.

“It doesn't hurt to be optimistic, it could just be a coincidence”

“Maybe....maybe Leandra took another path to my house. I could've just missed her. I'm going back to Lowtown” he leaves, Yennefer brushes her fingers through her hair.

“I need to find Garrett” she tells the two dwarves.

“All right” Bodahn agrees. “The boy and I will stay here in case she returns” Yennefer nods and heads up the stairs to change.

….................

Garrett, Yennefer, Fenris and Varric follow Leandra's trail to a Foundary in Lowtown, Yennefer slows as they walk in.

“This place feels strange” she states with a frown. “Wrong” Fenris looks to her.

“Don't you remember?” he asks. “We found Ninette's hand here” he tells her.

“Mother must be here somewhere” Garrett tells Yennfer, she nods.

“We have to look around” she adds.

“Spread out” Varric offers. They nod and each split, searching different parts of the foundary.

…................

Yennefer frowns and crouches, brushing her hand over the dirt and grabs the handle of the hidden trap door.

“Guys!!” she shouts, Garrett hurries to her, she looks to him.

“This wasn't here before” he tells her as Fenris and Varric reach them. Yennefer lifts the door and they peer inside.

“Garrett” she whispers, he pulls her closer and kisses her head.

“I know” he whispers back. Fenris moves and drops through the trap door first.

….................

Garrett and Yennefer run into the final room, Fenris and Varric behind them, the twins slow to a stop as a figure stands by a high backed chair, he stands and faces them.

“I was wondering when you'd show up” He tells them. “Leandra was so sure you'd both come for her”

“Mother always knew us best” Garrett tells him back.

“Yes, and she spoke so fondly of you. What a lovely, gentle woman. You will never understand my purpose” the mage tells them. “Your mother was special and now she is part of something greater” Yennefer growls.

“You're crazy, we get it” she spits. “Where's our mother?!”

“I have done the impossible, I have touched the face of the Maker and lived. Do you know what the strongest force in the universe is?” he asks, they don't answer as he looks to the chair. “Love. I pieced her together from memory. I found her eyes, her skin, her delicate fingers...and at last, her face...oh this beautiful face” a figure in the chair stands, a woman in white, she moves, unsteadily around the chair. “I've searched far and wide to find you again, beloved, and no force on this earth will part us” The figure in white turns to face the twins, Leandra. Yennefer lets out a pained noise and covers her mouth as Garrett stares in shock.

“No” Fenris whispers.

“Oh...” Varric breath out, Yennefer reaches for the charm around her neck, closes her eyes and time slows, she snaps her eyes open and rushes the mage, Quentin, whilst pulling a blade from the back of her coat, time returns and she's at his side, she stabs him before he can even think about it, she pushes him to the ground and straddles his waist and stabs him again, and again, and again, over and over and over, she doesn't care about the blood, she just wants to hurt him. “Hawke, stop her” Varric tells him. She keeps stabbing him as Garrett watches.

“In a minute” Garrett answers Varric. Leandra shuffles towards Garrett who looks to her. “Mother” he catches her as she stumbles, Yennefer looks up from Quentin, covered in his blood and hurries over to her mother and brother. Leandra looks to them both.

“I knew you'd come” she tells them.

“You know me” Garrett teases sadly. “I always save the day” Yennefer bites her lip as she cries.

“Shhh” Leandra tells her softly. “Don't fret, darling. That man would have kept me trapped in here. But now....I'm free. I get to see your father again and the twins. But you'll both be here....”

“We'll be fine, mother” Yennefer tells her, Garrett wraps an arm around his sister and kisses her head.

“My little ones have become so strong. I love you. I've always made me so proud” she then......goes. Yennefer and Garrett just sit there with her, Fenris and Varric behind them, unsure what to do. Yennefer cries into Garrett's shoulder.


	24. Grief

Cullen takes a deep breath, reassessing if this is a good idea, again, he's been debating it since he heard the news. He bites his lip before knocking on the door to the Hawke Manor. It's Bodahn that answers the door.

“Knight-Captain Cullen?” Bodahn asks. “I'm afraid Mistress Hawke is not receiving any visitors today” Bodahn tells him, Cullen rings his hands together, he's going to feel bad until he can see her.

“Who is it, Bodahn?” Garrett asks walking towards him.

“The Knight-Captain, Messer” Garrett appears behind Bodahn.

“What do you want, Cullen?” Garrett asks, motioning for Bodahn to move aside.

“I heard about your mother” Cullen offers. “I just wanted to make sure Jenny's alright”

“Of course she's not alright” Garrett tells him. “Things seem to keep pissing on her life, taking the things she cares most for from her” Garrett sighs as Cullen gives him major puppy dog eyes. “She's in her room” Garrett pushes open the door wider letting Cullen in.

“Thank you” Cullen tells him entering, Garrett closes the door behind them. “Aveline told me some of what happened” Cullen tells him. “I really am sorry” Garrett nods and looks down.

“Yeah, me too” Garrett states. “Just me and Yen now” he whispers and walks ahead.

….............

“Yen?” Garrett asks knocking on one of the bedroom doors before opening the door, she sits at the window, in a huge armchair that dwarfs the girl, the same place she had sat all day the day before and day before that. Garrett sighs and looks to Cullen. “Don't worry if she doesn't say much....been one of those weeks” Garrett mumbles walking away. Cullen enters and closes the door behind him, wrings his hands together as he looks to Yennefer, who sits curled up in an armchair.

“Jenny?” he asks softly, she looks to him, eyes wide, wet and red. She stares at him and he grows slightly uncomfortable. She stands and walks towards him. She looks down as she reaches him before she wraps her arms around his middle and presses her head to his chest, he closes his eyes and wraps his arms around her. “I'm so sorry” he whispers to her. She sniffles clutching to the back of his shirt, he'd forgone his Templar armour to make her feel more comfortable. She shakes against him as she cries. He just holds her. The two of them, forgetting everything that occurred between them, just for this moment. Spirit lifts her head from the bed and watches the two of them before lowering it again, happy there is no threat.

“Can you stay?” she asks under her breath, he presses his head to the side of hers. “It's all right if you can't” she alters. “I don't want to be any bother” she whispers, he cups her cheek as he pulls back, she lifts her eyes to his, all life seems to have drained from her, she looks just like she did after everything that happened in the circle, like something so bad had happened that she'd literally lost the will to live. He brushes his thumb over her cheek and nods.

“I just need to send a messenger to the Gallows, all right?” she nods. “Have you slept? Eaten?” he asks her, she shakes her head.

“I can't...” she tells him already starting to cry again. “I can't....” he pulls her closer again and kisses her head, she clutches to his shirt.

“You need to” he corrects, leading her towards her bed, he helps her into it. “I'm going to bring you some food” he tells her. “Set you up a bath” she sniffles. “And then you are going to get some sleep” he kisses her forehead and stands. “I'll be right back” he assures her before leaving the room.

…............

Orana, an elvhen slave Garrett had rescued and then hired carried a bucket of water into Yennefer's room and over to the large stone bath in the corner of the room and empties the bucket into it, Yennefer watches her then leave the room again. Yennefer sniffles and pulls her blanket closer, Spirit jumps down off the bed and leaves the room, fearing that the bath is for her.

…...............

Cullen sits on the bed setting the tray of food between him and Yennefer, she glances to him sadly.

“You have to eat something” he begs of her. She sits up and crosses her legs under the blanket, reaches for the apple on the tray, Cullen smiles a little, pleased that she's trying. Orana pours another bucket into the bath and then throws a heating rune into the water.

“Is that all, Knight-Captain?” she asks.

“Yes, thank you, Orana” Cullen tells her, the elf bows and leaves the room. “I like her” Cullen tells Yennefer, who looks to him. “Your brother...he did the right thing bringing her into your home....” Yennefer nods agreeing, peeling the skin from the apple. She starts crying again, Cullen moves the tray aside and pulls her closer, she climbs into his lap and curls against his chest. He strokes her hair and kisses her head. “It's all right” he whispers. “I'm right here” she clutches to his shirt as she cries.

“Cullen” she whispers.

“Yes?” he looks down at her as he pulls the blankets over her shoulders, around her.

“Is the Maker punishing me?” she asks him, Cullen frowns at her, she takes a breath. “Because I'm a mage”

“What? No. Of course not”

“Bad things keep happening to me, people keep dying....Why, if not to punish me?” he strokes her cheek and she closes her eyes and leans into his hand. “Magic exists to serve man, and never to rule over him” she tells him. “I should never have left the circle”

“Bad things happened before then” he reminds her. “It was not because you left” she looks to him.

“Then why?” she asks him, he sighs and shakes his head.

“I don't know” he admits stroking her hair back and kisses her forehead. “Maybe some people just have to go through trials” he brushes his thumb over her cheek and then grabs her discarded apple, holds it out to her, she takes it and sighs.

“What do I do now?” she asks. “How do I....what am I supposed to do?”

“You eat” he tells her. “Take a bath and then sleep” he gently slides her out of his lap and sets her back on the bed before standing and moving to open the curtains, she cringes and looks away.


	25. Bath

Cullen takes the food tray from Yennefer as she finishes what he brought her, she watches him set it on the side before turning back to her.

“Come on” he tells her softly. “Bath” she nods and looks down before standing. She looks to him and raises an eyebrow.

“Are you really going to stay?” she asks him, self-conscious.

“I've seen you naked before, Jen” he tells her warmly.

“Yeah, but that was years ago” she whispers, her finger toying with the buttons on her jacket, it's still caked in Quentin's blood, she's been sitting in them for days. “And....we were....together, it's different now” he sighs and moves towards her, brushes her fingers aside and undoes the buttons, one by one.

“I promise not to look” he whispers back at her, she sniffles and looks away, a blush working up her neck and cheeks. Cullen gets the last button on her jacket undone and then pushes the jacket over her shoulders revealing the simple white tunic underneath, he drops the jacket to the floor and then works on her belt, before that joins the jacket. “Sit down” he pushes her gently back towards the bed, she sits on the edge and Cullen moves to his knees in front of her, his hands moving to her right boot, he pulls it from her foot before moving to the other, then takes her hands to remove her gauntlets. His fingers caressing her hands gently as he does, just to release some of the tension in her frame.

“Cullen” she sighs, he kisses her wrist.

“Stand up” he tells her, she stands and looks down at him. “Undo your breeches” he tells her, commands her, he raises an eyebrow at her as she pauses, she releases the ties on her breeches and then Cullen pulls them down her legs, Yennefer closes her eyes as his fingers graze her skin. He helps her step out of her breeches before he stands, he pulls the tunic over her head and sets it aside, then looks down at her

“You promised not to look” she breaths, he lifts his eyes to hers and then steps closer, her fingers find his tunic.

“When someone as beautiful as you is stood before me....how can I not look?” he asks her brushing his nose over hers, she closes her eyes and breaths his in.

“Cullen” she whispers, he presses his lips to her, curls his hand around the back of her neck and pulls her closer to him, both of them just....melting into the other, hard and desperate, full of need and want and love. All these years later. All of them just....disappearing and they're back in the circle, the two of them sneaking into the back of the Chantry to make out. And it's as good as he remembers it, feels as good, tastes as good, it's....utterly perfect. She raises onto her tiptoes and wraps an arm around his neck, his free hand finding her waist. He pulls back a little and presses his forehead to hers. Both out of breath, both panting against one another, hearts pounding. All those feelings, buried deep come rushing back. A tear tracks down her cheek.

“Jen” he whispers. “You should...” she nods, he pulls away. “Do you want me to stay?” he asks. She looks down and touches his chest, he takes her hand and holds it over his heart.

“Please” she answers, he nods and lifts their hands to kiss the back of hers before walking with her to the bath, he lets go of her hand and looks to her before pulling off his own tunic, her breath catches, growing up, getting older, utterly suits him, she touches his back and he glances to her as she traces a scar, from the...incident at Kinloch. Neither had actually talked about what happened to the other, but they both just knew it had been beyond bad. She moves her hand around his waist and to his stomach, Cullen closes his eyes as she kisses the scar. “Are we about to make a mistake?” Yennefer asks him as he strokes his fingers along the line of her arm.

“Do you want to stop?” he asks, turning and stroking his hands over her shoulders, and down towards her breast band, before reaching it, he pauses, looking down at her, she shakes her head.

“No” she breaths and he slides pulls on the tie holding her breast band in place, it falls from her chest and she lets out a breath, closes her eyes.

“Maker's breath, Jen” he whispers and kisses her cheek, his fingers tracing the lines of her waist. “Get in the bath” he tells her pulling on the tie to her smalls, letting them fall to the floor to, he restrains himself from just staring at her, completely bare in front of him, he's not sure he will be able to restrain himself if he does. Yennefer nods and side steps him to climb into the water. Cullen takes a breath and then undoes his own breeches, pushes them down over his hips before turning and climbing into the bath behind her, she pulls her knees up as he pulls her back to his chest, his legs on either side of her waist, brushing her hair over her shoulder so he can kiss her neck, his arm snaking around her waist. “Your bath is huge” he mumbles against her neck, she smiles a little relaxing her legs.

“Garrett got it for me when we moved in” she tells him. “He had it brought over from Ferelden” she touches the edge of the bath and smiles, Cullen watches her softly and kisses her cheek, wrapping her up in his arms.

…................

Cullen sits with his back against Yennefer's headboard, her head in his lap as she sleeps, in the end he had to give her a sleeping draught to get her to settle. He looks to the door as Garrett lingers.

“Thank you” Garrett tells him. “I've been trying to get her to eat and sleep for days” Garrett holds up a scroll. “Messenger dropped this off for you” Garrett walks to the bed and hands it over to Cullen who takes it and unrolls it.

“I asked Meredith for a few.....personal days, family emergency” Cullen tells Garrett who raises an eyebrow. “She's.....family” Cullen looks to Yennefer.

“I don't know what happened between the two of you” Garrett admits. “She won't talk about it...but....if you do care for her”

“I do” Cullen admits. “Very much so...”

“If she gets hurt because of this, because of you, I will hurt you back”

“She won't.....” Cullen argues. “I promise” Garrett eyes him carefully before humming and leaving. Cullen strokes Yennefer's hair, she sighs and snuggles into his lap.


	26. Morning NSFW

Cullen wakes alone, he is momentarily confused at his surroundings, then remembers, looks to the other side of the bed and sighs sitting up. Yennefer stands in front of the window looking out at the city streets below, her hand on her chest, hair pulled back from her face, the sun streaming in.

“When I was little” she states without looking at him. “My mother she used to....she used to tell us such stories of Kirkwall” Cullen pushes himself up to lean against the headboard. “Did you know my father was in the Kirkwall Circle?”

“No” he answers.

“When I was little, he used to tell me about this templar” she whispers. “Ser Maurevar Carver” she looks to Cullen. “He used to help him sneak out to see my mother.....and then....he helped them run away together when she found out she was pregnant....my mother gave up everything to be with him” she looks back out the window. “Can you imagine that sort of love?” Cullen looks to her.

“Yes” he answers, she looks to him and then shakes her head.

“We were mere children, Cullen, it was not love”

“I know how I felt, Jen” he tells her sliding out of bed and moving to her. “What I felt for you” he brushes a loose strand of hair back. “Before....everything that happened, if you'd asked me to run away from the circle with you....I would have” he whispers, she looks to him.

“No, you wouldn't have.....you love being a templar”

“I loved you more” he strokes her cheek, she closes her eyes. “When did you wake?” he asks noting the dark circles under her eyes.

“It was still dark” she whispers. “I kept seeing....I kept seeing my mother...”

“I can't even begin to imagine what that would be like” he admits. “I don't know how to make it better”

“You can't” she leans into his hand. “Nothing can make this better.....my father, the twins....my mother...I don't know if I could take any more” he lifts her chin.

“Garrett is tough” he tells her. “All right? He's going to be fine...” she nods and lets him kiss her softly, her hands finding his chest. He pulls back and they share a look, full of longing, lust, love, adoration.....he clasps her face and kisses her again, harder this time, she fists his tunic and pulls him closer.

“Cullen” she breaths against his lips. “Please” she whispers.

“Are you sure?” he asks, stroking his fingers down her neck. She nods. Cullen slips his hands under the shoulders of her night dress and then pushes it over her shoulders and down her arms, till she's stood in nothing, Cullen sighs with awe looking over her. She wraps an arm around herself, covering, it's been a while. “Don't” he whispers pulling her arm away. “Jen...you're....you're so beautiful” he tells her, his fingers ghosting over her waist, she runs her hands over his chest and up to his shoulder. She leans closer to him and kisses his chest, right over his heart, he threads his fingers into her hair and tilts her head back, she looks up at him.

“Please” she whispers. He leans closer and kisses her, she closes her eyes and curls her hands around his back, Cullen looks down at her naked form, strokes her ribs and tugs her closer, she looks up at him, he strokes her cheek, threading his fingers into her hair. “I need you” she tells him, he kisses her and walks her backwards towards her bed, her legs hitting the edge before she tumbles backwards, she grabs his waist and pulls him with her, he chuckles running his hands up her thighs and then pulling them apart, he sighs and leans over her, settling between her legs. He lets her stroke her fingers over the expanse of his chest, over the few scars there and down towards along his stomach to the ties on his breeches, he grabs her wrist to stop her, she lifts her eyes to his.

“Not yet” he tells her leaning down to kiss her, then along her jaw and down the expanse of her neck, he lets go of her hand to hold her waist, her hand wrapping around his back to pull him closer, she throws back her head and moans as he scrapes his teeth over her shoulder.

“Cullen” she groans, he chuckles and pulls back, looks to her, checking, again, he wants to be sure.

“Jenny” he whispers, a questioning look in his eyes, her fingers find his at her side and she squeezes pulling his hand up to her breast, sets his hand over her flesh and encourages him to squeeze, he looks to her before lowering his head, wraps his lips around her nipple, her eyes roll and she moans, his free hand reaching between them, pulls on the laces of his breeches, she lifts her legs up around his waist, he slides his fingers between her lower lips and groans, she's soaking wet, dripping, and he did that, he got her like that. He releases her nipple with a soft pop.

“Maker's breath, Cullen, please” she whines arching beneath him. He smirks and kisses her, sliding his tongue along the bottom of her lips, begging access, she lets him in, pulls his fingers from her and lines himself up with her, rolls his hips pushing himself into her, she lets out the most beautiful sound, Maker, he had missed this. He leans back, hands on her thighs and watches her writhes beneath him. He strokes her ribs, smirks and then turns them till she is above him, staring down at her, her hair all wild and free. Cullen pulls Yennefer's waist closer, pushing himself deeper in her, she throws her head back, her hands on his chest as she moves her own hips, he feels the same inside of her, even after all these years, he feels the same.

“Jen!” he wraps his fingers around the back of her neck and pulls her closer to kiss her, his hand holding her to him as he thrusts up into her. Maker's breath but how can one person be so perfect? He thinks, foreheads pressed together, joined together, the two of them, again, finally.

“Cullen” she pants out.

“It's been too long I'm not going....”

“I know!” she agrees already clenching around him, he groans and kisses her. Both of them reaching their peaks together, always together. Yennefer sets her head on his shoulder as she breaths heavily, coming down, she shudders and Cullen strokes her back, fingers tracing each bone.

“I love you” he tells her, she closes her eyes and presses herself harder to him.

“Cullen” she warns, he closes his eyes and threads his fingers into her hair.

“It's all right” he assures her. “You don't....have to say it back” he whispers and kisses her head, she lifts her head and rolls from him and lays at his side, they both stare at the ceiling. He sighs. “I made it awkward, didn't I?” he asks her quietly.

“You know it's complicated....” he looks to her. “Things are.....” she sighs, he leans over and kisses her.

“It's all right” he whispers pulling back, strokes her cheek. “I told you, you don't have to say it back” he lays back and she looks to him before moving to curl up at his side, her head on his chest, he warps an arm around her and kisses her head. She may not tell him, but he knows, he knows that she does still love him, he can feel it, when she smiles at him, when she touches him, he knows.

…................


	27. Once More For the Road (NSFW)

Cullen jerks awake and sits up, breathing heavily, another nightmare, he looks to the space on the bed next to him, Yennefer's space, empty, he touches the now cold, he frowns but a sound across the room alerts him to her presence, she sits at her dressing table brushing her hair, an empty potions bottle by her elbow.

“You should wear your hair down more often” he tells her, she glances over her shoulder at him and offers him a small smile before turning away. He looks to the potion bottle. “What's that?” he asks, she looks to it.

“Urm....” she clears her throat. “Birth control” she answers looking to him.

“Oh” he breaths staring at it. “I never....” he clears his own throat and pulls the blanket over himself. They both sit quietly, Yennefer brushing her hair, Cullen watches her sadly, he knows.... “You regret it” he points out, she sighs and sets her hair brush down.

“No” she admits. “No, of course I don't, I just.....It was bad timing” he sits up against the headboard to watch her braid her hair. “I shouldn't have let it happen” she touches the empty potion bottle and pushes it aside before standing, her dressing gown, it's a simple red silk thing, barely tied around her waist, most of her legs and chest on display, how does she expect him to concentrate when she's wearing that little.

“Was it that bad?” he asks her, she sighs and shakes her head.

“No...it wasn't...bad. Cullen. It was never bad” she starts moving towards him. “You're a templar” she reminds him. “I'm an apostate......you should be fighting to take me in...not screwing me”

“Yennefer” he scolds.

“It's true” she tells him. “What happens if.....if Meredith finds out? I will be taken to the circle and then I would be made tranquil” Cullen shakes his head.

“I won't let that happen” he argues plucking at the blanket.

“You won't get a choice....” he looks to her. “You know I'm right” she whispers. He grabs her waist and pulls her onto the bed, straddling his legs, his arm around her waist.

“I won't let it happen” he repeats. “I won't let anyone hurt you” he wraps a hand around her neck and pulls her closer to him. “I did once....and it destroyed everything.....I won't let it happen again” he kisses her, hard, desperate, he knows deep down that she is right, that if Meredith were to find out Yennefer would be taken from him and made tranquil, and that would be worse then her dying, for her to look at him with nothing behind her eyes, none of that spark, none of that fight that he loves, none of the love she denies. She pulls back and sets her forehead against his.

“I want you to leave” she tells him, he slides his hand between them and between her legs, her eyes roll back into her head and she moans.

“Doesn't feel like it” he tells her. “In fact...it feels like you want me to stay....” he kisses her neck, pulling his fingers from her, before plunging them back in, she arches her back and cries out in pleasure, he smirks grabbing her waist and holding her down on his fingers, swirls them around inside of her and then presses them down, on that point, in that place he knows, that he remembers that makes her.....spasm out of control, her entire body ridged and shaking, she leans backwards and squirts all over his fingers. Maker he loved making her do that. Who's he kidding he still does. He lays her back on the bed, letting her recover, sweat sliding down between her breath as she pants staring at her ceiling. Cullen rubs her thighs, it stops her from cramping up, he remembers how to keep her comfortable. He remembers everything about her, including the little cluster of freckles on her right hip, or the burn scar across her right ribs from a rogue fireball. He leans over her and kisses her neck, she lifts her hands and threads them through his hair.

“What do we do now?” she asks him stroking her hands down the back of his neck, Cullen pulls the blanket barrier from between them.

“We make the most of now” he answers, lowering his hips closer to her. “Then....I go back to the Gallows” she strokes his hair. “And if you decide it...if you decide that this was a mistake” she shakes her head. “Then we go back to being friends...” he brushes her hair back.

“And if I don't? We can't....go around holding hands and....”

“I know” he assures her. “I know that we can't...but if you want, we can still do this” he kisses her. “And this” he kisses her neck, she moans. “And this” he rolls his hips and then enters her, she claws at his back, her own arching beneath him.

“Maker's breath” she moans, he smirks and nuzzles into her neck, he pulls open her dressing gown and strokes his hands down her waist, he's going to claim her because she is his, always has been, always will be, even if she won't admit it. They both know that they are it for one another. He rolls his hips and she claws at his back harder, drawing her nails over his shoulder, he moans and kisses her neck, she pulls her thigh up around his waist and presses her foot into his backside to push him closer to her. “Cullen” she whispers, he strokes her cheek and then kisses her as he moves with her, makes love to her. Reminds her just what it was like, what it could be like again. Each roll of his hips, each noise she makes, and he makes, brings them both closer and closer to the edge. He leans back and grabs her hips, stares down at her, the way her body moves and writhes beneath him. It's perfect.

“Jen” he breaths and leans down again, kisses her, holds her close to him, she shakes, shudders, she's close. “Cum with me” he whispers against her lips, she throws her head back as she does just that. He follows her, the feeling of her wrapped around him. She pants and threads her fingers into his hair, he kisses her warmly.


	28. Truth

Garrett sits in the study, a book in his lap, he's not reading it, it's just there. Yennefer shuffles into the room, he looks to her.

“We need to talk” she tells him. “I have to tell you something, something important” she fingers a portrait in her hand. “Promise you won't get mad” she whispers looking down.

“What's wrong?” he asks setting the book aside and standing. “Yen”

“Please” she begs.

“I promise” he tells her. “Tell me what's wrong” she holds out the portrait to him and he takes it, looking down at it and then looking to her. “Yen”

“I'm sorry” she hurries out. “I'm sorry” he hugs her tightly.

“This is where you've been going?” he asks her, she nods into his shoulder. “Oh Yenny....when?”

“Just after the circle” she pulls back running her fingers through her hair. “I didn't know what to do....” she admits. “I was so lost and I....” he kisses her cheek and wipes away the teases from her cheeks.

“I'm coming with you next time” he tells her. “All right?” she nods and sniffles, he pulls her into a hug.

…...................

Garrett sits next to Yennefer who is curled up with Spirit on one of the couches, a book in her lap, she smiles at her brother who rubs his hands together.

“We're all about honesty now, right?” he asks her, she cocks her head. “You told me your secret....Now I have to tell you mine” he kneels in front of her and takes her hand. “Yenny.....the twins” he starts and bites his lip looking away. “They're not dead” she frowns at him.

“What?” she asks, he kisses her hand.

“I lied” he admits. “I thought it was better that..”

“That I thought them dead?” she asks pulling her hand away from him, he looks hurt. “Where are they?” she asks him.

“They did get sick” he tells her. “That part was true....but....we came across some Grey Wardens....Alistair, he...took them, they're Grey Wardens now” Yennefer slaps Garrett, he grunts and rears back, she slaps him again, and goes to again, he grabs her wrist, she yanks it away.

“You should have told me the truth” she tells him standing. “To make me think, that all this time...that they were....that I'd lost almost my entire family” she shakes her head. “Why now? Why tell me now?”

“Beth was getting suspicious” he tells her holding up a letter. Yennefer snatches it from him.

“Because I haven't been writing to her” Yennefer reads. “of course I haven't” she sneers. “I thought she was dead” she throws the letter back at him and leaves, Garrett rubs his cheek and looks to Spirit who looks to him judgementally.

…................

Cullen lays with Yennefer in her bed, her back against his chest, his lips on her neck, his hand threaded with hers. She may have subconsciously decided that she wants him back, she wants him in her life and in her bed, that she does still love him, with all of her being, it's always been him.

“Well at least you know now” he tells her, she sighs.

“He shouldn't have kept it from me” she argues. “To tell me that....that they were dead, to watch me grieve for them” Cullen nuzzles into her neck as she sighs resting her head back against his shoulder. “After everything” she breaths out. “And Bethany....she thinks I'm mad at her...because I haven't been writing to her....and Maker only knows what Carver thinks” she sighs and turns her head to him. He smiles and kisses her, keeping her close.

“They'll understand” he tells her pulling back. “Write them, tell them....” she nods and rests back into his chest, he strokes her hair.

“Did you hear about the Viscount's son?” she asks him, he nods.

“I did.....the city is sitting on a knife's edge and all it's going to take is....a tiny gust of wind and everything will go to the Void” he kisses her head and holds her closer. “Just promise me you'll be careful”

“Of course I will” he kisses her neck and draws his hand over her stomach, she smirks.

“Good, now that's settled” he nuzzles into her and she chuckles.

…...................

Cullen grumbles into Yennefer's neck as he wakes, there is yelling coming from downstairs.

“Jen” he complains rolling away and pulling the blanket over his head. Yennefer smirks sitting up and glancing to him, it turns into a warm smile, he looks to her. “What?” he asks, she shakes her head and stands moving to her clothing, Cullen plays with the blanket edge. “Jen?” she looks to him as she grabs her smalls and pulls them on to. “Are you..all right?” she shrugs, he raises an eyebrow and she grabs her jacket from the side.

“I'm....getting there” she admits moving to sit on the bed next to him. He takes her hand and kisses her palm. “You help” she admits with a small smile. “I don't know what I'd have done without you” he cups her cheek and smiles at her, she leans down and kisses him. “Get dressed....you have to get back to the Gallows” he groans and lays back in bed and then sits up.

“We should go away somewhere” he tells her, she snorts and looks to him.

“Where?” she asks.

“The countryside” she raises an eyebrow. “I know you love the countryside” he tells her.

“And what about Meredith?” she asks.

“I'll take some time off, I'm due a break” he tells her.

“Oh yeah, hey, Meredith, you mind if I take a few weeks off to go into the country with my apostate girlfriend?” she mocks, he smirks. “I am sure that will go down great with her” he stands and pulls on his breeches.

“I'm not exactly going to tell her that, am I, love?” he whispers moving closer to her, she looks to him and smirks.

“Call me that again” she begs of him and pulls him closer. “I've missed it” she admits, he kisses her and smirks.

“Love” he repeats and then rolls his eyes as the yelling gets louder. “What do you think that's about?” he asks.

“Ten silver says Isabela's done something she shouldn't have” Yennefer teases grabbing her daggers, Cullen smirks pulling on his tunic and following her out of the room, grabbing his boots from by the door.

….............

“This is important. Don't interrupt with your selfish prattle” Aveline snaps at Isabela.

“Get off of your high horse” Isabela responds. “I have problems, too” Yennefer stands at the top of the stairs watching, she looks to Cullen at her side who raises an eyebrow at her. Aveline scoffs.

“What drink should I order? Or who's the father?” Aveline mocks.

“Oh you little....” Garrett appears just before Isabela can lunge at Aveline.

“Are there any seats left?” he asks teasingly. Aveline looks to him.

“Garrett – the Arishok is sheltering two fugitives who have converted to the Qun. He must be convinced to release them” Yennefer sighs and hands over ten silver to Cullen who smirks and kisses her cheek, they head down the stairs. “He's already feared” Aveline starts to explain. “Because of Petrice. If people start to think he can ignore the law....I need your help so this doesn't get out of hand”

“I'm going to die” Isabela announces. They all look to her. “There. Got your attention. Real problem”

“I heard Arishok and die” Yennefer states approaching. “What's going on?” she asks.

“Remember the relic?” Isabela asks. “The one Castillon is going to kill me over? A man called Wall-Eyed Sam has it. If you help me get it, Castillon won't kill me. Please” Cullen hands the silver coins back to Yennefer who smirks up at him.

“I'm trying to keep the entire city from rioting against the Qunari” Aveline argues.

“Well, maybe they're connected” Isabella argues back.

“What?” Cullen asks.

“I'm just saying maybe it will help” Isabela offers as Yennfer narrows her eyes at the Rivani. “It's important to someone, right/”

“Now you start being responsible. Shit” Aveline sighs, Garrett looks between them and then nods.

“All right, I'll go with Isabela” Aveline sighs and throws up her hands. “And Yen will go with Aveline”

“What?” Cullen, Isabela, Aveline and Yennefer ask together.

“You want this sorted, right?” Garrett asks. “This is the quickest way.....” Cullen touches Yennefer's back, she looks up at him.

 


	29. Invasion

Aveline stands with her men as Yennefer approaches, the guard captain nods and they head into the compound.

“I request an audience with the Arishock” Aveline tells the main guard, who looks over them and the group of City gaurds.

“He will allow it, but not in this number” Aveline looks to Yennefer who nods.

“I will bring my friend here and a small compliment of my guard. Is that few enough?”

“It is” The qunari tells her. “Enter” he opens the gates and they walk in.

…...........

Aveline stalks towards the Arishok who stands waiting for them, he raises his battleaxe and settles it on his shoulder.

“Shanedan” he greets.

“Greeting, Arishok” Avenline greets back. “We come regarding the elven fugitives that took refuges here”

“Irrelevent” he looks to Yennefer. “I would speak to Hawke regarding the relic stolen from my grasp”

“Your relic could be anywhere” Yennefer tells him.

“A truth, but you minimize your role”

“An issue for another time” Aveline interupts. “We're here for the fugitives”

“The elves are now viddathari” The Arishok tells her. “They have chosen to submit to the qun. They will be protected.

“You must know that harbouring murderers will lead to bloodshed” Yennefer tells him.

“It will lead where it must. You have not hidden the abuses of your zealots, or the corruption of this city. You will understand why I must do this. Let us look at you dangerous criminals” two elves appraoch the group, Yennefer and Aveline look to them. “Speak viddathari. Who did you murder and why?” One of the elves steps forward.

“A city guard forced himself on our sister. We reported him...or tried to. But they did nothing about it, no matter what we said. So my brothers and I paid him a visit.

“That doesn't excuse murder” Aveline tells him, Yennefer looks to her.

“Are they telling the truth, Aveline?” she asks. Aveline sighs and looks to her.

“There have been rumours. I will investigate, but they still took the law into their own hands”

“Sometimes that is neccessary” the Arishok tells her.

“Live you avenged the Viscount's son. It was not right then, and it is not right now” Aveline argues.

“We're just here for the eleves” Yennefer tells him.

“Their actions are mere symptoms. Your society is a disease. They have chosen. The viddathari will submit to the qun and find a path your way has denied them”

“You can't just decide that. You must hand them over” Aveline snaps, the Arishok looks to Yennefer.

“Tell me, Hawke: what would you do in my place?” he asks her, she looks to Aveline and then back to the Arishok.

“You clearly don't like staying amongst the humans....”

“I cannot leave without the relic, and I cannot stay and remain blind to this dysfunction. There is only one solution”

“Arishok, there is no need for...” he holds up his hand cutting off Aveline, he turns and walks away.

“Vink kanas” he orders, above them, Qunari with spears appear and take out the city guard, one swings at Aveline and she blocks it, another moves to Yennefer, she punches him in the face and then reaches for her daggers.

“Not here” Aveline tells her grabbing her arm. “Too open!” Aveline pulls her out of the way of a spear. “Go! Go!” they both start to back away, Yennefer looks to the Arishok who is staring at her, she stops. “Yen!” Aveline snaps, Yennefer turns and they leave together.

…...............

Yennefer and Avline run into Lowtown and then stop, Yennefer rubs her hands over her face as Aveline paces.

“Can you hear that?” she asks looking to the mage. “The Qunari must be spreading out. They're attacking the city. Why? What could they possibly hope to accomplish?” Yennefer takes a breath and shakes her head.

“We have to do something” she tells the redhead.

“You're right” Aveline agrees. “We need to think quickly, but we're going to need help” Yennefer lowers her head and thinks.

“We need to find Garrett” She points out, Aveline nods. “And the others, I'll get Varric from the Hanged Man”

“I'll head to Hightown” Aveline tells her. “Find your brother, and Fenris. Meet us there and I'll rally the guard” Yennefer turns to leave, Aveline grabs her arm. “And Hawke” she looks to her. “Be careful” Yennefer nods and offers a reassuring smile.

“You too, Guard Captain” they both head off in opposite directions.

…...............

Cullen grabs Yennifer around the waist and pulls her into the darkened alley, just before a group of Qunari run past, she clutches to his chest plate as he tries to shield her from view.

“What happened?” he asks her, she takes a breath and shakes her head.

“I don't know” she admits. “Maker” she breaths. “Cullen” she looks up at him. “What have I done?” he claps her face. “This is all my fault” he shakes his head and kisses her.

“No, no, it's not” he assures her pulling back. “What are you doing out here?”

“I was heading to the Hanged Man to get Varric....” she answers.

“I'm coming with you” he tells her, she shakes her head.

“No, if you're seen with me....the templars and Meredith”

“I don't care” he argues. “You are on your own and the city is crawling with rampaging qunari, I am going to protect the woman I love” she looks up at him and then sighs, knowing she is not talking him out of it.

“Okay” she whispers and takes a breath, she nods. “Okay” he takes her hand in one of his and pulls out his word with his other, he pulls her towards the alley mouth and looks about before they leave, heading towards the tavern.

…..............

“Varric!” Yennefer shouts as she and Cullen approach where the dwarf is firing at the qunari from behind a barricade with some of the regulars from the tavern, he looks to her.

“Lilac!” he shouts back, she and Cullen join him behind the barricade. “What are you doing here?” he asks.

“I was at the compound” She answers rubbing her head. “When it started”

“And you made it out?” he asks, she shoots him a look.

“It was close” she admits and sighs. “We have to get to Hightown” she tells him. “Aveline went to get Garrett and Fenris”

“All right” Varric agrees. “We just have to get past the qunari in out way” Cullen peeks over the barricade and sighs.

“And without dying” he adds, Yennefer looks to him and then to the surrounding qunari, not that many, she looks around and spots a discarded staff, she thinks, leans up and kiss Cullen before running to the staff. “Jen!” he shouts after her, she grabs the staff and spins it over her head, summons a pull of the abyss spell that pulls all the qunari into it's centre, she lowers her staff and throws her hand out and freezes the qunari, Varric takes his que and raises Bianca, before firing bolts into them, the qunari shattering on impact. Yennefer lowers the staff and looks back to her friends, Cullen looks worried whilst Varric smiles.

“Come on” she tells them, they both hurry after her.

…..................

Yennefer turns a corner and screams as a quanri spear almost hits her, she spins away avoiding it. There's a warriors cry before the qunari is split in two. Before they are ambushed by more qunari, Yennefer looks to Cullen who pulls his sword from his side. They join the fight. Until every last Qunari is dead. Yennefer sighs and shakes her head. Cullen moves to Yennefer and checks her over, she nods at him and looks to the warrior who'd saved her, she smiles. Carver.

“Carver!” she shouts, he smiles a little.

“Hello, Sister” he states. “Fancy meeting you here” he teases and moves to her, pulls his sister into a hug, she clings to him back. “Yenny” he whispers she pulls back and clutches his face. “Garrett explained” he tells her. “Wrote to us both, It's okay” Carver looks to the side as Bethany approaches, Yennefer moves to her and hugs her to, Bethany hugs her back just as hard.

“We're here on Grey Warden business” Bethany tells her and waves a little at Varric. Another Grey Warden approaches, one she knows, remembers.

“You have our sincere thanks. The attack was most unexpected” he looks to her and pauses. “Oh....” Yennefer looks down.

“Alistair” she states and then looks to him again. He looks to Cullen who shifts uneasy, this Grey Warden knows what they both went through at the circle, in the tower.

“I..urm....wow...this is unexpected as well” Alistair smiles though. “Glad to see you both in once piece and together” he tells them. “After...what happened I'd...assumed....”

“Water under the bridge” Yennefer adds. Alistair nods.

“Good, that's good” another warden approaches.

“We need to move. We've already delayed too long” he tells Alistair.

“I cannot believe the qunari would dare such an attack. This will lead to war with the Free Marches. I fear pressing matters take us elsewhere but we can spread word to other Free Cities, perhaps they can send aid...”

“There's something more pressing then an invasion?” Cullen asks him. Carver looks to them.

“We can't talk about it” he tells them.

“The qunari are of greater concern to you” Alistair tells them. “I am certain, but we must return to our mission” they start to leave, Yennefer steps forward.

“Wait” she states, the twins look to her as she fiddles with her hands. “I...need to tell you about mother” she tells them, Bethany softens.

“We already know what happened” she tells her. “We know you did your best” Bethany tells her softly, Yennefer nods and watches them leave, Cullen takes her hand and kisses the back of it.

“Come on, love” he tells her softly. “We have to keep moving” she nods and lets him pull her along.

 


	30. Meredith and Orsino

Yennefer runs up the steps to Hightown, Garrett looks to her and pulls her into a hug the second she reaches him.

“Thank the Maker you made it” he tells her.

“We had some help” Varric adds. “Sunshine and Junior” Garrett raises an eyebrow.

“The twins?” he asks, Yennefer nods.

“They're in the city on Warden business. They left” Garrett nods and strokes her cheek whilst glancing to Cullen. Aveline looks to the templar as well as Fenris hugs Yennefer, she hugs him back. There is a scream in the market behind them, the group move into Hightown where they see two qunari dragging a screaming woman off, Yennefer stares at the scenes.

“Parshaara! Quit your struggling, woman?” the qunari tells the woman, Yennefer shudders, her mind, flashing images of Kinloch at her, of the moment Uldred grabbed her and started dragging through the circle towards the Harrowing chamber, he'd said something very very similar to her. Her magic starts reacting to her emotions, Cullen looks to Yennefer.

“Jenny” he whispers, she takes a breath through her nose and grabs her staff from her back walks towards the qunari.

“Yen!” Garrett hisses trying to grab her, she's too quick. She stalks towards the qunari. One turns to her.

“Teth a! Bas!” he shouts the other qunari turns to her as Garrett, Cullen, Aveline, Fenris and Varric head towards her.

“Then the Arishok failed to take you captive” the second qunari looks over Yenenfer. “Unfortunate” he reaches for his sword as the human woman runs away, Yennefer smirks darkly and throws out her hands with a cry, a huge telekentic force explodes from her hands and hits the qunari who push back against it.

“Bas-saarabas!!” she pushes harder with her hands and forces them back, their footing starting to waver.

“Yen” Garrett shouts as the ground starts to shake with the power of her spell, she's using too much mana, they have no idea what they are going to face further in. “Yennefer!!” she pushes harder and the qunari fly backwards into the wall which cracks. “Cullen, do something” Garrett begs. Cullen looks to Yennefer and then grabs her waist, she struggles against him.

“Easy, love” he coos in her ear. “Easy, let it go” she cries out and closes her eyes. “Let it go” he presses his head to the side of hers and she lowers her arms, the spell dropping, she slumps in his arms and cries, Cullen holds her up.

“I'm sorry” she whispers. “I'm sorry” Garrett lifts her face, she looks to him. “I just, I saw him” she admits. “I saw Uldred...” she explains, Cullen looks to her sadly and kisses her head. “I just...I'm sorry”

“It's all right” Cullen assures her, strokes her hair. “It's all right, it's over” he helps her stay steady on her feet, his arm around her waist, just then there is a huge blast behind them and they all go flying. Yennefer groans and lifts her head, a saarabas approaches them.

“Saarabas” she states looking up at it, it readies a spell over her before it's magic is cut off and a sword pierces it's chest, it falls dead and behind it, Knight-Commander Meredith, she slides her sword away and holds out her hand to Yennefer, who looks to it before taking it, the woman pulls her to her feet as Garrett stands, immediately moving to his sister's side. Cullen looks worried.

“I am Knight-Commander Meredith” she looks between the twins and narrows her eyes. “I know you two” Garrett takes Yennefer's hand tightly. “The name Hawke has turned up in my reports many times. Too many” Cullen then moves to take attention from the twins.

“It's good that we found you, Commander” he states. “The Qunari are...”

“It's obvious what they're doing” she interupts him, looking up the steps to the next level of Hightown. “The Qunari are taking people to the keep and may already be in control. We will need to deal with them” Garrett moves to her side.

“Why would they be gathering hostages?” he asks.

“They're going to take everyone important and put them in the same place” Fenris answers. “Those that agree to convert, live. Those that don't...” he leaves that hanging there, they all know the answer without it need being said.

“Charming” Meredith states.

“Always happy to help in a life-threatening situation” Garrett tells Meredith.

“Good” she responds and looks to him. “I'll overlook your sister's use of magic” Garrett looks to Yennefer alarmed as Cullen clenches his fist reaching for his sword. “For the moment” Meredith adds looking to Yennefer, she looks back to Garrett. “Head to the keep, and I will see if I can find more of my men. Knight-Captain” she states and looks to Cullen. “Remain with them” Cullen nods and Meredith walks away. “These creatures will pay for this outrage” she tells them before disappearing around a corner, Yennefer looks to Cullen who moves to her and clutches her face.

“It's okay”

“She knows” Yennefer whispers. “How long till....” she takes a breath and shakes her head.

“We'll figure it out” Fenris tells her. “It'll be all right”

“Lets concentrate on the Qunari” Garrett tells her. “We'll worry out about this later” Yennefer nods, Garrett moves to her and takes her hand. “I won't let them take you again” he promises setting his forehead to hers, she nods and squeezes his hand.

….............

First-Enchanter Orsino groans as Garrett and the others approach him, Garrett helps him to his feet.

“Many thanks, my friend” Orsino tells him.

“You don't seem as badly injured as the others”

“The others?” he asks and looks around. “Surely they can't all be......gone” he sighs. “I told them to run”

“First Enchanter Orsino” Meredith states approaching with more templars, Yennefer slips back behind Fenris who positions himself in front of her. “You survive”

“Your relief overwhelms me, Knight Commander” Orsino tells her dryly.

“There is no time for talk. We must strike back, before it's too late”

“And who will lead us into battler?” Orsino asks. “You?”

“I will fight to defend this city as I have always done”

“To control it you mean” Orsino argues back with the templar. “I won't have our lives tossed to the flames for your vanity” Garrett looks between them and sighs.

“I won't have you at each others throats. I'm in charge”

“You?” Meredith asks. “You are not even of this city”

“Neither am I” Orsino points out. “Yet I don't hear you complaining about us all fighting to defend out home” Meredith looks to Garrett.

“Very well then. But whatever you plan. Just be quick about it” Orsino looks to Garret.

“Tell us, then: What is out course of action?” Garrett looks to his companions.

“Let's find out what the qunari are planning” he tells them all. “But...not risk out necks in the process”

“An excellent choice” Meredith agrees. “Let's move” she turns with her templars and walks away, Cullen sighs and shakes his head. He has a very very bad feeling about all this.


	31. Farah

Yennefer sits at Garrett's bedside as he sleep, rests, recovers, he'd been a moron and challenged the Arishok to a dual, yep, him a mage, challenged a warrior, a warrior of the Arishok's size to a dual. Mal whines from the end of the bed, careful to rest his head on Garrett's legs, Yennefer takes Garrett's hand.

“Love” Cullen states behind her, gently touches her neck, Yennefer closes her eyes and leans into his touch. “You should get some rest” he tells her softly. She looks to him.

“I can't leave him” she whispers. Cullen cups her cheek brushing her hair back. “I tried.....But I couldn't” Cullen kisses her head and wraps an arm around her shoulders.

“He's going to be fine....he just needs to rest, like you do” he brushes his thumb over a new scar under her right ear, one of the qunari caught her during the fight, he sighs and presses his head to the side of hers. “Come on” he stands and holds out his hand to her, Yennefer sighs and takes his hand letting him pull her to her feet, he clasps her face gently. “You Hawks” he whisper fondly “Always getting yourselves into trouble” she smiles a little, he kisses her.

“It's what we're good at” she responds. He kisses her forehead and then the back of her hand.

“Come on” he walks with her out of the room and along the hall to her own room. “You know they're calling him the Champion of Kirkwall” Cullen tells her as she shuffles into her room, him behind her, he shuts the door and watches as she undresses.

“Champion of Kirkwall” she mumbles sleepily. “He'll love that” she sways on her feet, her lack of sleep getting to her, Cullen supports her from behind. “Tired” she whispers.

“I know, love” he whispers back and leads her to her bed and helps her into it, tucking her blanket around her.

“Will you sit with him?” she asks. “So he's not alone when he wakes up” Cullen glances to the doorway as Fenris sneaks past, Cullen smiles and looks to Yennefer.

“Something tells me he won't be” Cullen tells her softly brushing her hair back. “Get some sleep” he kisses her softly.

…...................

Cullen sighs softly pulling on his tunic before glancing to Yennefer still sleeping, he hates to do this, but he needs to be back at the barracks. He rubs his fingers through his hair and then moves to her, gently touching her shoulder.

“Jenny” he whispers gently to wake her. She groans and turns her head to him. “I'm sorry, love, but I have to go” she reaches up to rub at her eyes, he brushes his fingers over her cheek and down to her neck.

“When will I see you again?” she whispers taking his hand from her to kiss his palm.

“I don't know” he admits. With everything that's happened, he knows that it could be a while before Meredith let's him out of her sights, before things quieten down. It might be better with him there anyway, that way he can keep an eye on the reports, to stop them from coming for her. He kisses her softly. “I will get word to you though” he assures her, she reaches up and touches the back of his neck, he closes his eyes and presses his forehead to hers.

….....................

Yennefer and Cullen walk towards the estate door, neither that eager to leave the others company, Orana opens the door and Cullen turns to Yennefer. He tilts her head up a little and kisses her softly.

“Be careful” he begs of her. She nods and touches his chest.

“Only if you are” she whispers, he pulls her closer and wraps his arms around her, Yennefer sets her head on his chest and closes her eyes listening to his heartbeat. He breathes in the lilac and gooseberry perfume and then pulls away slowly. He kisses her once more before leaving, Yennefer wraps an arm around herself as Orana closes the door.

….....................

Yennefer lays on the couch in the study, just staring at the chess board, left untouched from hers and Cullen's last game. Fenris lifts her legs and sits beside her. It's been three weeks since the Arishok fight, three weeks since she's seen Cullen.

“I have to see her” she admits looking to him. “I know Garrett's still recovering....I just...” Fenris nods.

“Maybe you can both go” Fenris offers. “Take Garrett and rest and recover in Ferelden for a few weeks.....” he rubs her leg, she looks to him. “I'll look after the house, the hounds...”

“You're far kinder then I deserve, Fenris” she tells him sitting up.

“Why do you say that?” he asks.

“I'm a mage, an apostate, I...ran away from my Circle......” she tells him. “You hate mages”

“I hate magisters” he corrects. “I hate slavers....I hate those that oppress others” he looks to Yennefer. “But I don't hate you, Yen” she smiles a little. “You don't....hold you magic above everyone, in fact, you'd rather fight with your blades then you would wield your magic, and you hate slavers about as much as I” she smiles at him and nods.

“You know....you're good for Garrett” she admits. “Just....let go” she takes his hand. “He won't hurt you” Fenris smiles a little and nods, Yennefer stands and brushes her hands over her dress, she takes a breath and walks away.

….............

Cullen just walks into the Hawke estate now, more comfortable there then at the Gallows, this is the first time in weeks that he's been allowed to leave the Gallows, and he is pretty sure it is Meredith trying to keep him from Yennefer. And if he wasn't so high ranked he is pretty sure he would have been discharged or worse by now. Bodhan looks to him from the desk in the corner before standing to greet him.

“Knight-Captain”

“Bodhan” Cullen greets as Orana moves to take his cloak, Cullen waves her off gently.

“Messere Hawke and Mistress Hawke have taken off for a few weeks recovery” Bodhan offers, Cullen sighs and nods. “Serah Fenris is upstairs, if you wish to talk to him” Cullen shakes his head.

“No, thank you though”

“I could get a message to her” Bodhan offers, Cullen nods.

“Yes, thank you” Bodhan motions to the desk and Cullen moves to it grabbing a scroll and quill before sitting.

…..................

Yennefer smiles watching Garrett ahead of her opening the scroll in her hand, she looks down and smooths out the edges before her smile turns loving.

_Jenny_

_I love you_

_Cullen_

Yennefer folds the scroll away and smiles away to herself, Garrett flops down next to her and smiles.

“What's up with you?” he asks. She hands him the scroll which he takes and reads, he smirks. “You know...I approve” he admits. “Templar or not that man is madly in love with you” Garrett looks to her. “If you ask him to, he would leave the order and run away with you”

“I would never ask that of him” Yennefer counters. “Cullen loves being a Templar, it's what he's always wanted to do, since he was a small boy and they'd march through his village, I would never take that away from him” Garrett smiles.

“And that's how I know you love him too” Garrett tells her, she nods and looks down.

“Perhaps I do, but it'll never work” she stands and walks away. Garrett stands and follows her.

“Why? Because you love one another?” he asks. “Because you have a child together?” he asks, Yennefer snaps her head to him, he holds up his hands in surrender, they both turn to look at the small child, no more then 5 years old, curly red hair, bright golden-green eyes runs around chasing a dragonfly with a bow in her hand and a quiver on her back. Yennefer smiles despite herself. Garrett wraps an arm around his twin and pulls her closer.

….........

Five years previous:

Yennefer kneels at the side of a crib, a teeny tiny baby lays sleeping inside, Yennefer sniffles and touches the baby's cheek.

“Lady Hawke” she looks to Fergus Cousland stood behind her, she'd been trying to get across to the Free Marches before she had to give birth, unfortunately her waters had broken just as she reached Highever, Fergus, the current Teryn, had kindly offered her aid, not caring that she was an apostate. He'd allowed her to stay in the guest wing. “I've had some food prepared for you”

“Thank you, my lord, but I don't think I could......we should get out of your way”

“You are going to try and outrun Templars with a newborn?” he asks her.

“What choice do I have?” she asks back.

“I could take her” Fergus offers, Yennefer frowns at him.

“What?”

“At least till she's old enough” Fergus moves closer. “Here she can be schooled, feed, looked after” Yennefer sniffles.

“You think I wouldn't...”

“No” he argues. “That's not what I meant...you know that's not....” she sighs and rests her head on her arm staring at her daughter.

“She looks like her father” she whispers, her lip already trembling. “Perhaps you are right” she tells him. “I'll go on ahead” she adds. “Set us up somewhere” she strokes the girls cheek.

“What about a name? You have to name her first” Fergus asks. “What are you going to call her?” Yennefer smiles a little.

“Farah” she answers. “Her name is Farah”

….....................

 

 

 

**FARAH:**

**Child (DA2)**

**Young Teen (DA:I)**

 

**MID-LATE TEENS (DA:I TRESPASSER)**

 


	32. The Beginning Of The End

Yennefer looks out the window of her bedroom down into the square below, Orsino is talking to the gathered crowd. She sighs. This isn't going to end well. She and Garrett have barely been back three days and all that rest and recovery they'd spent doing in Ferelden has gone to waste. She sighs and crosses her arms over her chest.

“What's happening?” Cullen asks leaning up onto his elbows in her bed.

“Orsino” she answers watching as Meredith and a few templars approach Orsino. “And now the Knight-Commander is getting involved” Meredith looks up at Yennefer who ducks back behind her curtains and looks to Cullen. They share a worried look, Yennefer looks down.

“Come here” Cullen whispers, Yennefer sighs and pushes herself off of the wall and climbs back into bed with him.

“Without the Qunari” she starts brushing his curls from his forehead. “They have no one to fight but each other” she snuggles into his chest as he wraps his arms tight around her. “I'm scared” she admits.

“So am I” Cullen tells her, threads his fingers through her hair. “Give me a year” he tells her, Yennefer lifts her head to frown at him.

“For what?” she asks.

“One year today, me and you, we'll leave the city, for good”

“Cullen” she whispers.

“No, listen to me” he strokes her cheek. “We're both been through so much, too much, and I think it's time we get to disappear from the world and take the rest of our lives for ourselves” he kisses her. “Just you and me” he whispers. “We can go back to Ferelden, a cabin or something in the country.....”

“And the templars?” she asks. “Cullen, I know how much it means to you”

“You mean more” he assures her. She sits up and shakes her head.

“To be forever on the run, looking over our shoulders for templars.....I've been there, Cullen, you would be so...” she looks down.

“I would be so what? Jen?” he asks lifting her chin.

“Miserable” she answers. “And I wouldn't put that on you. I won't put that on you” he smiles at her and pulls her closer.

“I love you” he tells her warmly. “I'd even suffer Orlais for you” she smiles a little.

“You hate Orlais” he nods.

“I do” he agrees and she knows then how much he loves her, to say he'd move all the way to Orlais, the one place he hates more then anywhere, except maybe Kinloch, to do that for her.

“A year?” she asks, he nods and smiles.

“A year” he agrees. “And we get to live our own lives” he promises her, she smiles at him.

“I love you” she finally tells him, he strokes her cheek. “I always have....and I should have told you sooner” he shakes his head.

“You didn't need to, Jen” he assures her warmly. “We've not had it easy” she turns and straddles his waist. “But I think it shows just how much we're meant to be together” he whispers, she cocks her head. “Even after everything we went through, look at us now” she smiles a little. “We found one another again” she nuzzles into his neck, letting him wrap his arms tight around her.

“Do I tell you how I ended up in the circle?” she asks. Cullen shakes his head.

“Gregoir said it was a public display of magic” he answers.

“Sort of” she agrees. “Bethany's magic manifested whilst she was being bullied” Yennefer tells him. “We'd gone to the market to get flowers for mother and I'd left her alone for two minutes whilst I spoke to a Chantry sister....people started screaming” she looks down. “I turned around to find Bethany crying, and she was surrounded by ice”

“You took the blame” Cullen whispers, she shrugs, he lifts her chin.

“I was older” she answers. “Bethany was my baby sister, I was supposed to watch out for her that day, and I didn't.....I didn't need to take the blame, Cullen, it **was** my fault”

“You carry too much guilt, Jen” he offers softly. “It's going to devour you” she looks down again. “You are still carrying this after...what? Ten years? Not to mention everything you feel guilty for since” she presses her head to his chest. “You need to let it go” he tells her softly rubbing her back. “Or it is going to control you”

“Do you still blame yourself for what happened in the circle?” she asks.

“That's different...” he argues.

“It's really not” she whispers lifting her head. “Every single person in that tower, mages and templars, have some blame for what happened, but me and you, we did not ask for that to happen, we did not break and we did not bend, we fought back....we tried to stop it and we suffered for it, we both have scars that will never go away....but we tried” he lunges forward and kisses her, she pulls back and frowns at him.

“I love you” he tells her. She smiles and wraps her arms around his neck, they go back to kissing. She loves kissing him. He makes her feel warm and safe and loved. And that is just what she needs, it's what she always needs, she was such a fool to fight this for so long. She's never loved another, never even slept with another, it has always been him, and she thinks it always will be. Cullen lays her back softly and rests on his elbows by her head.

..................

Cullen kisses Yennefer as she lays in bed, a blanket wrapped around to cover her modesty. He's dressed now, crouching at the bedside to say goodbye.

“Do you have to go?” she asks, he strokes her cheek and smiles sadly at her.

“You know that I do” he answers. “And you know I wish that I could stay” he brushes his fingers down her neck and along her bare shoulder. “Believe me this is where I would rather be” he promises with a smile, he leans closer and kisses her again. “I will return when I can” he promises.

“Cullen” she whispers, he kisses her cheek and stands.

“If you go out on one of your brother's little adventures....please be careful” he begs of her. “I've only just gotten you back...It would destroy me to loose you again”

“I'll be careful” she promises him as Spirit jumps up onto the bed. Cullen smiles at the hound.

“And I trust you'll protect your mistress?” he asks the hound who rests her head on Yennefer's thigh and gives a little bark in affirmation. Yennefer looks up at Cullen who nods but looks worried.

“Cullen?” she asks, he looks to her and smiles.

“Later” he promises her and then leaves. Yennefer pats Spirit's head and sighs.

…...............

Yennefer walks down the stairs of the estate to where Bodahn stands fidgeting with his hands.

“Bodahn?” she asks reaching the bottom.

“Ah Mistress Hawke” he greets.

“Is everything all right?” she asks him warmly, she's come to care a great deal for the two dwarves, they're part of the family now.

“Things have been very troubling these last few years, haven't they?” Bodahn he asks her back as she moves to the fire place, he moves to her side.

“For all of us” she agrees softly.

“I urm...I was thinking that it might soon be time for my boy and I to move on” he admits. Yennefer looks to him.

“Back to the merchants life, I suppose?” she asks. Bodahn smiles warmly at her.

“It's an honour to serve you” he offers her. “And the Champion of Kirkwall, make no mistake, but I'm getting older. It's time to see to Sandal's future” they both look to Sandal who is sat with Spirit, Yennefer smiles. “I'll stay on until arrangements are made. I hope that's all right”

“You are always welcome here, Bodahn” she tells him. “You and Sandal are family” Bodhan smiles a her. “If you're worried about him, I can help him out”

“Ah, that's mighty kind of you, but it's unnecessary. My boy's been offered a position in Orlais” Bodhan assures her. “It seems the empress herself found one of his enchantments and is intrigued. Can you imagine? Us, in the Imperial court”

“Well I'll miss you” Yennefer admits.

“As I will you” he admits back, she smiles and nods at him. He turns to walk to Sandal before stopping and turning to her. “Hopefully this business with the templars doesn't get worse before we go. I worry about you, messere” he turns and walks away, Yennefer looks to the fire worried. She hopes so too. 


	33. Breaking Point

**More then a year later** : Yennefer paces her bed chambers, her robes loose around her shoulders, she sighs and turns to Cullen who enters the room, she takes a breath and turns away from him. He's not been to see her since Bethany's kidnapping, not through choice of course, after the reports his Meredith's desk he's sure she upped his duties to keep him away from the apostate, he's sent letters and messengers and messages through her brother and a few templars he trusts, but now he has found some time, a few hours to spend with her. To make sure she is alright, to make sure she is coping. He notes the tense lines of her shoulders and the clenching of her fists, something is bothering her. He also knows she's pretty much shut herself inside the Amell Estate after what happened with Bethany. She's terrified and he can't do anything about it. He looks down a little and takes a breath to calm himself, both of them getting upset of worked up will not help. He looks to her.

"What is it, love?" he asks pulling his armour off, she turns back to him as he kicks off his boots.

"You said a year" she accuses staring up at Cullen. "It has already been longer then that"

"I know" he reluctantly agrees, he had every intention of fulfilling his promise to her, of course he did, but things have just kept building and building and happening and the next thing he knows, that year has passed and he's staring into those eyes that reflect disappointment. And he hates it. "One more year" he whispers. "Just let me get everything in order, I can't just leave without making sure there is someone I trust to take my place" she turns from him an moves to look out her window, he knows she's been feeling trapped within the house, the templars are tightening their grip on the city and she fears more and more everyday, her association with Garrett will only protect her for so long. She folds her arms around herself and sighs.

"I don't know how much longer I can stay in the city" she admits, he moves to stand at her back, his fingers dancing along her spine, she closes her eyes. "I have never felt anything this tense since the circle.....something or someone is going to snap" she whispers, he kisses her neck and draws his hand around her waist to rest on her stomach. "I'm scared" she whispers, he closes his eyes and sighs sadly.

"So am I" he admits sadly. After Bethany's kidnapping almost six months ago he's been out of his mind with worry for Yennefer, Bethany was surrounded by other Grey Wardens, Yennefer is often alone in the house, and though he trusts the hounds to watch her and protect her, even they are only capable of so much. He kisses her neck and pulls her closer. "You have no idea how much" he whispers into her neck, she threads her fingers through his on her stomach. The thought of loosing her again is too much to bare, after only just finally getting things back on the right track, they are together, and working on things, this is good, and he can't bare to loose her.

"It's lonely.....Garrett's always out..." she whispers resting her head back on his chest, closing her eyes. "You...." he strokes her hair, guilt setting into his chest, he knows he's be neglecting her, but this is for them, the more work he can get done, the more he can he help, the sooner he can be ready to leave with her. He's the sort of person that needs everything to be in place before he abandons his post. "Are never around"

"I try" he whispers. "Meredith....she keeps me busy, I think she....knows" she scrunches up slightly into his chest, trying to look small. "I'm not going to let her come for you" he promises her and kisses the crown of her head closing his eyes.

.............

Yennefer and Fenris walk together leaving the market, he'd persuaded her to leave the house, and though she's jumpy she seems to have enjoyed herself. He smiles a little as she looks to him. He's trying to be reassuring.

"Well, well, well" Fenris drops his smile and reaches for his sword as a templar patrol appears in front of them and behind them, Yennefer looks back over her shoulder. Fenris holds out his arm trying to pull her closer.

"She's the Knight-Captain's girl" one of the younger recruits argues. "There are orders not to go near her, not to harm her"

"The Knight-Captain has been blinded by whatever is between her lovely legs" the leader, the Brute recruit snears. "He can no longer be trusted to follow the templar ways" he steps towards Yennefer who tries to hide her fear, Templars have always been one of her greatest fears. "You were at Kinloch" he comments. "Who's to say you haven't been delving into Blood magic like the rest of them" he hisses at her. "A dangerous blood mage wandering the streets, it can't be allowed" he reaches for her sword and she steps back from him. "Kill the elf" he orders of the other templars, Yennfeer looks to Fenris who does now pull his sword free, the intent is there.

"But...the Knight-Captain" the young recruit argues weakly, the Brute turns and thrusts his sword through the recruit's chest. Yennefer's eyes widen as he pulls it free and turns back to her.

"Now...you" he tells her, she reaches for her dagger and twists it defensively. It's a mess of blood and magic and lyrium, five templars against the two of them. In the end, it's not enough, Yennefer ends up on the ground, reaching for her dagger having lost it in her fall. Her face is bloody, some her own, some belong to the templars around her and she knows she's going to have bruises. There is a snap and Yennefer screams, Fenris snaps his head around and sees the Brute's boots on her hand. Fenris pushes the templar away before running him through with his broadsword, it may make things worse but Garrett asked him to protect Yennefer, and that is damn well what he is going to do.

.................

Cullen hurries through the Amell estate heading for Yennefer's chambers, his armour rattling away as he does, he'd come straight from his post, abandoned it to see her. He pushes open her chamber doors, alerting Spirit who jerks a little on the bed to glare at him. Cullen breaths heavily his eyes landing on Yennfer. She sits by her fire in her arm chair, wrapping in her robe and freshly bathed. But he can make out the newly forming bruises on her face, the cuts, the bandaged hand. He's gotten here before the healer then, good, he wants to see, he wants to know what he's caused. She turns and looks to him and he can see she's been crying, as much as she can given how swollen her right eye is.

"Maker's breath" he breaths, Yennefer looks away from him. "Jenny, I am so...." he whispers moving towards her. "I am sorry, maker forgive me" he kneels at her side taking her bandaged hand in his. "I came as soon as I heard" he looks to her hand sadly. "I...I should have seen this coming" he draws his fingers up her arm and sniffles as he tries to stop himself from crying. "With everything..." he lifts his head to look at her face.

"It's not your fault" she whispers threading her fingers through his hair at the back of his head. "We both knew something like this was coming..." he leans up slightly and lifts her chin to the light so he can see the marks on her face.

"If they weren't already dead" he growls a little, she sniffles, her lip trembles. "Hey" he coos. "It's okay, love, you're okay" he doesn't know where to touch her without hurting her.

"I can't stay here" she whispers sadly. "I have to leave the city" he nods in agreement.

"Yes" he agrees sadly. "Yes, you should" he gently presses his forehead to hers.

 

 

**A/N - THE NEXT CHAPTER MIGHT BE UP TODAY, I HAVE MOST OF IT WRITTEN ALREADY, AND BOY....I AM SO MEAN, I LOVE CULLEN AND TBH I LOVE YENNEFER AND I LOVE THEM TOGETHER BUT THE WRITER IN ME IS LIKE....MWWAHAHAHAHHAAHAHA**

 

 


	34. Hearts Shatter

Yennefer doesn't get to leave the city. The templar patrols outside the estate are too frequent, too numerous, and she's too afraid to face them. So she's trapped inside her own home, and Cullen can't visit, between Meredith and Orsino and the mage templar rift just getting bigger, he has more and more work to do, more and more duties, less time to see the woman he loves. And he's so close to walking away from the Order, so close. But the Maker has other plans. Or Anders does. The stupid mage decided to blow the Chantry to smithereens with the Grand Cleric inside. Chaos follows. Mages and Templars fight in the streets, innocents caught in the crossfire, and Yennefer is afraid, not for herself, for Cullen. The mages will see him as a templar and the templars see him as a mage sympathiser. So she leaves the estate to find him. And she does, in the streets fighting off a templar brother, when the templar falls Cullen pants his hands on his knees.

“Cullen!” she shouts, he turns looking for her, only just catching her as she throws herself into his arms, his sword clatters to the ground as he raises his arms.

“Jenny” Cullen clutches her to his chest plate and she ignores the uncomfortable nature of the metal and hugs him back.

“Cullen, I thought....” she trembles a little in his arms.

“I know” he pulls back and brushes tears from her cheek. “I'm alright...” he looks to Garrett who appears behind him. “I had some help” he offers, Yennefer smiles at Garrett who nods.

“Well...whilst Meredith is a raging mad psychopath....” Garrett starts. “There is at least one good templar out there” Garrett looks to Cullen who smiles a little taking Yennefer's hand. “But, and I hate myself for asking this, but we need all the help we can get, Yen....Anders...he's dead..” Yennefer gives a tight smile and nods.

“I'll help” she offers. “At least I'll get to kill a few templars, right?” she asks leaning into Cullen's side, he squeezes her hand. There is a shout behind them and they all turn to find abominations approaching them. Yennefer's eyes widen slightly. “The mages” she comments sadly.

“Meredith ordered a Rite of Annulment” Cullen tells her sadly. “The mages....”

“They panicked” Yennefer whispers sadly. “It's happening again” she takes a deep breath and pushes it all down, that pain, that hurt, that fear, they have to do something to stop Meredith, and if that means fighting mages....then they fight mages too.

…..................

Garrett, Fenris, Isabel, Varric, Merrill, Aveline, even Bethany and Carver end up fighting a red lyrium infused Meredith and a few templars, along with statue warriors in the Gallows. Fenris, notorious for his hatred of mages is fighting along side one, against Templars. Yennefer has swapped out her daggers for a staff, fighting as a mage, no longer hiding who she is. She and Cullen fight side by side, back to back, protecting one another. Yennefer throws out her hand forcing a templar back from her, she spins and seeks out her next target, she sees Meredith and Cullen, the latter swordless and bleeding.

“No!!” Yennefer screams and fade steps to stand between Cullen and Meredith as the Knight-Commander thrusts her sword at him, instead, Yennefer takes the blade through her chest, she stares up at Meredith who stares back at her. Yennefer makes a choking sound as Cullen stares helplessly at the scene. Meredith pulls her blade free of Yennefer, who then stumbles backwards, Cullen grabs her and lowers her to the ground in his arms. The templars and mages fighting stop to watch, a mage just saved a templar, Garrett rushes closer with Carver and Bethany. Yennefer clutches her chest, blood pouring between her fingers as she wheezes.

“Jenny” Cullen whispers brushing her hair back from her face. “It's alright, it's going to be alright, my love, we'll fix it” she shakes her head leaning into his hand, she reaches up and touches his lip, bleeding from where Meredith caught him with her sword, he takes her hand, lifts her up slightly, to set his legs beneath her, with her in his lap. She cringes slightly and chokes on her own blood a little.

“I'm sorry, Cullen. I-- I-- I-- I, I think I'm dying” she tells him.

“Shh. Shh. Shh” he coos, Yennefer is whimpering.

“I'm so sorry” she whispers to him.

“You'll be alright. You'll be alright. You'll be alright”

“Cold. I'm co--cold.” Cullen looks at her, ready to cry. Garrett already is, Bethany sniffles, Carver tightens his jaw to stop himself from crying, Isabela takes his hand as Fenris moves to Garrett's side. Varric looking on sadly, Aveline tightens her hold on her sword. Cullen ignores them, he's looking straight at Yennefer, after everything they've been through, this is not how it was suppose to end.

“You're alright” He sniffles and starts to tremble. “I love you” he tells her. She smiles at him.

“You've got to go on, Cullen” she tells him weakly, he shakes his head.

“How can I go on without you?” he asks. “I can't”

“You can. You've got so much more to give” she tells him. He's sobbing now. Pain is etched in every muscle in his face.

“No” he argues.

“Yes. Promise me. Promise me” he looks to her torn, she's pleading, begging for him, for this, she needs this, he closes his eyes.

“Yes” he whispers. “I promise”

“That way I'll--I'll always be with you” She gives Cullen one last smile. Her panting subsides, ceases. She is gone. Cullen lays his face on hers and sobs. Garrett lets out a pained noise and turns on Meredith. The woman who's just killed his twin.

…...............

On the coast, a woman wearing black and white pulls a hood over her raven curls, tears stream down her face, her violet eyes bloodshot. Yennefer, alive. She turns and walks away from Kirkwall. Behind her Spirit follows and her crow flies over head.

…...............

Garrett approaches Cullen who hasn't moved since Yennefer died, his arms locked around her body. All the templars had turned against Meredith in the end, after Yennefer's sacrifice for a templar, they stand around now, with the remaining mages. Waiting for guidance.

“Cullen” Garrett states sadly.

“We were going to leave” Cullen tells Garrett monotonously brushing Yennefer's hair back from her face. “Go back to Ferelden” he strokes her cheek. “Be together” Cullen looks up at Garrett, a tear sliding down his cheek, blood now drying on his chin and lip. “I waited too long” he looks back to Yennefer. “One more year, just one more” he whispers and leans down to press his forehead to hers, rocking backwards and forwards with her.

“Cullen” Garrett starts again. “We should....we should think about moving her, taking her home” Garrett's voice breaks a little. Cullen clutches to Yennefer, still refusing to move. “Cullen” Garrett pushes.

“We'll look after you” Bethany tells Cullen wrapping her arm around his shoulders. “Come on” she looks to Carver who helps her pull Cullen to his feet, Cullen reluctantly lets go of Yennefer's body as the twins move him away from her.

….................

Yenneffer pulls her horse to a stop outside the gates of Highever, the guards glance to her, note the necklace around her neck and then nod as she passes, heading into the city. Yennefer heads towards Castle Cousland.

…...........

“Mother!!” Seven year old Farah runs down the steps and towards Yennefer as she climbs off of her horse. Spirit jumps and barks running around her mistress excitedly. Yennefer turns just in time to grab the small girl and pulls her up, clutches the child to her. She kisses her cheek and strokes her hair.

“Farah” she whispers, longingly, she's missed this beautiful little girl. “You're so grown up” she tells her putting her down and crouching. Farah. Little Farah Hawke....Farah Rutherford she supposes. “Where's Fergus?” Yennefer asks.

“Right here” Fergus Cousland, Teyrn of Highever walks towards them with a smile. “Welcome Back” he tells her. “No Fenris? Garrett?”

“Not this time” She answers. “Thank you” Yennefer tells him, he knows she means for more than the welcome, she pulls Farah closer to her. Fergus smiles at her.

“I'll have your room set up”

“We're not staying” Yennefer corrects and looks down at Farah. “It's time for us to go” Farah looks up at her mother as Spirit barks.

 


	35. Four Years Later: Surprise!

**4 years Later:** Now Commander of the Inquisition, Cullen stands at the small pop up table in front of him, a map of the Hinterlands spread out over the top of it, one hand on the pummel of his sword, the other, the other spins a ring on his finger, a chunk of lazurite and forged into two rings, each with a figure of eight upon the top, and on the inside, inscribed are the words 'Now  & Forever'. He touches the ring more often then he will admit, it's a comfort thing, whenever he has issues with lyrium, or if the troops annoy him, he'll touch the ring, even if he doesn't know he's doing it. The other ring, the second one forged used to sit on the finger of a mage. A utterly unique mage. But both are now four years gone.

“Commander” Cullen looks across the table at the scout who hands over a scroll. Cullen takes it and unrolls it on the table. He takes a breath and reads over it, the Herald of Andraste is to be arriving in the next day to check out the watch towers. Cullen's men have made good time on the towers he's not worried. But he knows the Herald will bring Varric, and the dwarf reminds him of his past, seemingly something he cannot escape, even back in Ferelden.

…....................

Cullen looks up as he hears horses approaching the camp, his hand finds the hilt of his sword and he watches as the Herald dismounts his horse and hands the reins off to a soldier who bows to him.

“Your worship” Cullen greets, the Herald rolls his eyes a little at the title before smiling to greet Cullen.

“Commander” he greets back, the others filter into camp, Solas moving to sit on the outskirts, preferring to be away from people, the elf is peculiar but so far helpful. The dwarf moves closer to Cullen.

“Varric” Cullen offers.

“Curly” they share a look, Varric nodding a little.

“So we got word of a possible ally from the refugees” Max offers, the newly appointed Herald of Andraste, he seems to be taking to the role as well as one can thrust into it, and for a mage. Cullen watches as Max looks over the map, running his finger along the route he wants to take. “A healer” he adds tapping the map. “Here” Cullen moves to look at where he's pointing.

“Right in the middle of the Witchwood” Cullen comments. “Rebel mages swarm that area and around the outskirts you have the templars”

“Sooo” Max starts. “We cannot get to them?” he asks.

“I did not say that” Cullen argues. “I just think you should be prepared”

“We have to pass the newly built towers to get there so we will inspect them on the way” Max pats Cullen's shoulder and smiles. “Two birds one stone. You'll come with us, right?”

“If you need me too” Cullen answers.

“An extra warrior watching my back, I would say so” Max states and then claps his hands together. “Let's say after breakfast” he offers looking to Cassandra and Varric who both nod and then head off to find a tent to crash in. Max turns to Cullen. “You should get some rest too”

“I'm alright for now” Cullen offers, Max shoots him a look.

“Cullen, I get reports, Leliana is concerned you're not sleeping” Cullen sighs a little.

“Do you know much of what happened in Kirkwall?” Cullen asks him.

“The basics, yes” Max answers

“For me...the events were very personal” Cullen admits. “That last fight, the one with the Knight-Commander....I lost someone, someone very important to me, I can't sleep, without seeing things I wish I didn't” Max looks to him sadly and touches his arm.

“Solas has this potion” Max offers. “I've used it a few times, it helps you sleep, but stops you from dreaming, maybe try it” Cullen sighs and looks down, he's not sure about that, whilst dreaming about holding Yennefer's body is one thing, he still dreams about Yennefer, which he can never regret.

“I will think about it” Cullen offers and then walks away to find his own tent.

….................

Walking through Witchwood in the morning fog is a thing in it's own right, the way it makes the tress look, the chill in the air, it's peaceful, and for a moment Cullen can forget the fighting that is going on.

“This is right in the middle of the rebel fighting” Cassandra points out looking around nervously.

“This is where the refugees said she was last spotted” Solas offers.

“Should we really be looking for her, isn't it clear she wishes to remain undisturbed?” Max asks.

“The refugees claim she's a highly proficient healer” Cullen answers. “We the number of injured coming into Haven....” Varric looks to Cullen.

“Curly, are you saying this mage is a good thing?” Cullen sighs and looks to him.

“Adan can only do so much” Cullen counters. “And not all mages are the same” he and Varric share a look, Varric nods, knowing just who it is he is talking about. Varric also knows how hurt Cullen still is over the loss of Yennefer. How hurt he will always be over that loss. Varric knows how much more he would hurt if he knew the truth about Yen and Farah too. Garrett had told the others after Yen's death but they kept it from Cullen to save him more pain. They thought they were doing something nice for him. Varric glances to Cullen who spins his ring again. They enter a glade, where a small hut sits in the centre, smoke wafting from the chimney. Max takes a breath and swings his hands at his side nodding.

“That must be it, it's the only place liveable we've come across” He explains.

“We should still be wary” Solas comments. “This is rebel mage territory” Cassandra nods in agreement. Within a few steps into the glade they are surrounded by a group of rebel mages, and whilst they have two of their own it doesn't seem to matter all that much. Cullen pulls out his sword and readies his shield against his arm, Cassandra at his side doing the same. Varric's beloved crossbow is pulled from his back and readied, they are outnumbered though. A figure rushes into the glade and twirls a staff around their body before pointing it towards the mages, a hail of flames rains down on them and she turns and blocks a sword from a mercenary, hired by the mages for protection, the sword cuts through her staff and she jumps backwards to avoid the blade. From behind Cullen an arrow whizzes past his head and into the mercenary. The figure turns and runs towards the Herald's group, she, and it is a she, snatches the staff from Max who scowls a little.

“HEY!!” Max shouts, the figure grabs the staff from Solas who frowns snapping his head around to her, the figure stabs both staves into the ground, a hug blue shield shoots up around the group.

“Farah!” The figure shouts and a volley of arrows flies over head and into the approaching mages. She holds her hands over her head and forces the shield out further. Cassandra looks around for the archer, her only clue is a streak of red hair that moves through the bushes on the embankment above them. The mages and company fall fast whilst the shield keeps them protected from magical attacks, to the amazement of the group, it's impressive, and not something anyone them (save for Solas) has ever seen before. When the last mage drops the shield falls away, the figure lowering their arms and relaxing their stance. The figure removes their hood and shakes out her raven hair.

“No way” Varric whispers spotting her eyes first, bright violet. Yennefer stands before him.

“Hello, Varric” she greets raising a hand to pull down her hood. Cullen snaps his head up and stares at Yennefer stood before him, he's moving in seconds and pressing his blade to her throat.

“Whatever trick this is” he growls, she presses a finger to the blade and pushes it away.

“I can assure you, Cullen, this is no trick”

“I...it has to be” he whispers to her. “You were dead” his voice breaks a little, she looks to him sadly.

“Actually, I wasn't” she tells him and moves to pull the staves from the ground, the danger having passed, the shield falls away. She hands them back to Max and Solas.

“Solas?” Max asks eyeing the new mage carefully.

“She is.....not a demon” Yennefer shoots the elf a look. “Or a spirit” Solas answers. “More than that the magic coming from her necklace matches that of the mark on your hand” Yennefer lifts a hand to her necklace and looks to the man's hand that glows green. “Where did you get it?” Solas asks Yennefer.

“I've had it for ten years” she answers. “I found it” she tells him. “When I was fleeing the circle....it was in some elvhen ruins I took shelter in.....” Cullen is still staring at her.

“Explain” he begs of her, she looks to him, she sighs and moves to him. “Please” he begs her.

“I had a feeling that things would go wrong” she admits. “It's complicated....but I didn't die...and then I had other commitments”

“Other commitments?” Cullen asks. “What could have been more important then your brothers? Your sister?.......Me?”

“I was” Farah states, now eleven years old, she steps out of the bushes with Spirit and moves to Yennefer.

“My daughter” Yennefer admits to him. Cullen looks between them. “She was more important” Cullen frowns, his brain ticking over, doing the maths. “I was going to return to Kirkwall, I was going to return to you....but...I heard of the chaos, the rioting, I just, I couldn't take a child back there. I wrote to you” Yenneifer tells Cullen. “Every week I sent a letter”

“I never...” Cullen sighs. “I never got any of them” he tells her. “Maker's breath”

“I had a feeling you hadn't” Yennefer states cupping Farah's cheek. “A few months ago we heard of the conclave. We were on our way to attend it when Farah got sick, so we had to come home. Glad we ended up missing that” Farah smirks. “Why don't you go see if they have anything useful on them?” she asks, Farah nods, sets her bow on her back and heads over to the dead mages. Yennefer turns to the others and raises an eyebrow. “So I know Varric and Cullen” she looks to Solas, Max and Cassandra. “Who are you?”

“Rude” Max states, Yennefer raises an eyebrow at him.

“You're on my land...with weapons” Yennefer tells her. “And before you argue, this is my land, bought by Teyrn Cousland and then given to me as a gift”

“The Teyrn of Highever?” Varric asks. “How do you know him?”

“None of your business” Yennefer tells him and then raises an eyebrow.

“Right, Lilac, Seeker Cassandra Pentagast, Solas and Max Trevelyan, Herald of Andraste.....Meet Yennefer Hawke”

“The other Hawke?” Cassandra asks.

“Oh please” Yennefer snorts at the title Herald of Andraste, Yennefer looks to Max. “Why? What can you do that makes you so special?” Yennefer asks.

“Can close the rifts with this” Max holds up his hand.

“Really...me too” Yennefer tells him back. “With this” Yennefer holds up her hand too, only she bares no mark “It's not all that difficult” Yennefer tells them already walking away. “You know the way out I presume?” she asks over her shoulder. “Farah!” the small redhead pockets her loot and runs after her mother, Spirit following behind her.

“She can close the rifts?” Max asks looking to Solas who is frowning at Yennefer's retreating back.

“I wasn't aware it was possible without the mark” Solas mumbles. “It...I would need to...” Solas frowns. “It must be the necklace” Cullen tightens his jaw watching Yennefer walk away with who he is pretty sure is his daughter, those eyes, those golden eyes the girl wears are so him.

“Curly?” Varric asks looking to Cullen. “You...not going after her?”

“She lied to me” Cullen answers. “I held her in my arms as she died.....and she didn't?” Cullen looks to Varric. “Kinloch, the Qunari, Meredith....everything we went through....and she died to get away from me”

“Cullen” Cassandra states.

“Did you know she had a child?” Cullen asks Varric who looks down.

“Garrett.....mentioned Farah, after Yen's death” He admits.

“So you see it too?” Cullen asks. “She's my daughter” he whispers.

“We came here for her help” Max adds. “And if she can close the rifts too” he turns to Cullen. “We need her” Cullen runs his hands through his hair and takes a breath before walking towards the cabin.

 


End file.
